Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.

hate my family (very very long post). brace yourself

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi, I come from a broken home. I live in an extremely poor area and my dad was never around while I was growing up.

I absolutely hate my mom and my two older sisters. We ALWAYS fight. Not just sometimes but always. Everyday my mom cusses at me and lectures me any time she gets the chance which is at least three times a day which can get pretty tiring. Imagine being at home and having to deal with that all day everyday and then going to school and dealing with so much bullshit that is not even your choice because it was your family who sent and kept you at that school even though you hated that school so much and fought with them and yelled at them and bawled everyday about it. Also, everyday my mom uses psychological and mental tactics against me. She wakes me up every single morning even though she knows I can wake up on time on my own. But she chooses to intrude 10 minutes right before my alarm is going to go off just so that she can yell at me and toss everything my room around. It's not like I set my alarm too late or anything. no. she FULLY knows that I can wake up on my own but she chooses to come in and yank my window open in the middle of winter, toss my blanket and all my bedsheets off and throw them to some random place, and just throw everything around. All this while she yelling and cussing at the top of her lungs. Also, whenever I ask her not to clean up my room she cleans it up on purpose :mad: :mad: :mad: !!!!!!! And sometimes I say, "Okay if you're going to clean my room could you please do this this and this". And that's when she DOESN'T clean my room. I might just be paranoid cuz i'm a teen or whatever, but that doesn't explain why she has a smile on her face while she is knowingly doing the exact opposite of what I want just to piss me off.

Also, She NEEDS to talk to me at least 15 times a day for the most obvious things. She constantly asks me questions that she fully knows the answer to just to piss me off and annoy me. She comes into my room at least 3 times a day JUST to talk to me and hear my voice. THAT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH. Because what she does is she deliberately says something to set me off and so that starts a fight. Sometimes I get so fed up because she just keeps saying things that annoy me so bad while we're arguing(and she does that on purpose :mad: ) I just wanna knock her out. Obviously i would never hit my mom, but she ALWAYS tempts me to and I know that as soon as I do that she's gonna run and tell all her friends that I hit her and that I'm so bad and ruin my reputation just like she did to my dad. I never talked to my dad but my mom talks about my dad like he was evil. I'm growing up now and I'm realizing that maybe my dad wasn't the wife-beating, womanizing, drinking monster that she made him out to be. Maybe he was an alright guy and she did to him what she is trying to do to me. That's probably why he left her! She's deceiving and underhanded. I hate her guts.

I already know that my entire neighborhood hears and talks about my family cuz they think our family is the freak crazy family cuz we always yell and swear at eachother at the top of our lungs. Oh boy do I have stories.

That's not even it. My oldest sister who is 7 years older than me totally screwed with my mind a couple years ago and i've never been the same since. That was the worst part because she changed me so much in a negative way and I'm never going to forgive her for that. If it wasn't for that, most of these family problems would never have developed.

If you're thinking, "oh that's not so bad" it gets worse. About 3 years ago I decided that I've had enough and I just thought, "who fuckin cares about life" and so I started the usual teen rebel thing. Smoking, Drinking, Drugs, Partying. But also I would stay out at night or just straight up leave the home situation to go get wasted or at least spend the night at other places (friend's houses, shelters, ANYWHERE).

During that time my family just kept yelling at me to leave at any chance they got. We all knew that I was really young and probably wouldn't leave and that's what pissed me off so much. Because they could always use that against me among a million other things just to piss me off. Well guess what. As soon as I turned 16 I was out the door.

For three weeks I was gone. The first week was soooo relieving. I finally had that monkey off my back. I was a street kid living in a shelter but it was so much better than my home life. My last two weeks I just spent at a friends place. My mom came to my friends house a couple times during that time and cried but you know what it was her own fault. And that's exactly what i told her. However, my oldest sister came once and she was just like she always was... yelling and screaming at me some more. So I said screw off. But one day I got back to my friends place after work and his mom told me that my mom came by to pick up all my stuff. Obviously I had to go home.

I got home and my mom was so much kinder and my other sister was at home and she was always just neutral. My oldest sister had been kicked out and GOOD RIDDANCE!

To this day she is out of the house even though at times she says she always wants to live at home. Well she did this to herself and I hope she suffers so much out there and goes through all the stuff that she has put me through.

Anyway, that's what been going on until this day. At first things were so much better at home but you read what I put at the beginning. Same old routine again if not worse. Since coming back there has been way more broken furniture, more fights, and even the cops had to come to my house once. Well now that I'm a bit older I'm smarter. So I've decided that my mom can talk to me all she wants. I'M NOT GOING TO REPLY TO HER AT ALL UNLESS I ABSOLUTELY NEED TO. I refuse to butt heads with her any longer. I've been doing that with my sister anytime she comes around and it's working out so yeah. I'm going to live here but I'm not going to communicate with them and I'll save up enough money so that when I'm capable of living on my own I'm going to leave this place and never look back. I'm going to move far far away and start fresh:)

Oh and by the way. I know there was no actual intense physical abuse at home but that's the thing. It was in the form of psychological and mental abuse over and over again. Them standing over me yelling and cussing at me while I sat in the corner bawling my eyes out for an hour session each time. This happened at least 3-4 times a week. It was weird because at first I was getting straight A's and I was a good student yet they still did that. Maybe it was to vent from the day who knows.

Anyway, I just needed to say that. I've talked to friends about my family problems before but there is just no way to remember everything that I just said. It's so much easier to type it and get all my thoughts out.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Glad thesite was of use to you..

    sounds like a pretty sad upbringing, hope things turn around for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't get on with my Mum either. For years she... well- it's difficult to explain it so I never really did. I always *knew* it wasn't me but it was only when someone older and wiser pointed out that it was HER problem and that I actually, all teen things considered, had never done anything to deserve her treatment, well I let it go- I don't speak to her any more and I don't care either. I really mean- I don't care, I have other things in my life, even a replacement Mom so... My advise is don' fall into the loser trap, that's the one where you feel unworthy/unlovable etc. and in doing so, actually make yourself that way. Yes lots of people get there security and love rom their mothers but, looks like you don't have that luxury so go out and get it for yourself. Love yourself and then build your family from there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe you could get in touch with your dad.
    Your mum sounds like a bit of a nutcase. If youre over 16, maybe you could leave home?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If youre over 16, maybe you could leave home?

    Would have suggested the same :yes:

    Not that easy to do sometimes tho, cos need a place to go and cash...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes but if its untenable for you to live at home, then you are entitled to help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes but if its untenable for you to live at home, then you are entitled to help.

    Cool, didn't know that, you should concider this option 420.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Am i the only person who read this and just though 'normal teenager'?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote:
    Am i the only person who read this and just though 'normal teenager'?
    i thought the same thing tbh!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No this sounds more than the usual teenager thing, I was ready to think that at first but after reading the whole post I dont think thats a fair criticism.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No this sounds more than the usual teenager thing, I was ready to think that at first but after reading the whole post I dont think thats a fair criticism.

    i did read the whole post and i still think that. bear in mind that you are only hearing one side of the story, for example, although this person says they can get themselves up on time for school doesnt mean they do, why would their mum be shouting at them to get up if they were early, doesnt make sence to me.
    Imo, this just sounds like a typical teenager who thinks they are always in the right.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One of the difficulties you face when you have an unreasonable parent as a teen is that most teenagers think and say their parents are unreasonable. It's difficult to judge, especially from a bulletin board post how much a complaint is due to teen angst and how much is because there truely is something 'wrong' with the family- considering all families are different, how do we decide where unreasonable fits on the sliding scale? One way to guage would be to get a little distance, I think. OP: you say you're going to save to move out- is there any way you could move out sooner? Another family member for instance?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote:
    i did read the whole post and i still think that. bear in mind that you are only hearing one side of the story, for example, although this person says they can get themselves up on time for school doesnt mean they do, why would their mum be shouting at them to get up if they were early, doesnt make sence to me.
    Imo, this just sounds like a typical teenager who thinks they are always in the right.


    Stop assuming things. Where do you get the idea that I always think I'm right? It's not about being right or wrong. As a mother she does her part and as a son I do my part. I am aware and acknowledge the things that I do wrong too. I'm at the age where I realize and appreciate what my mom has done for me over the years, however the wrong things strongly outnumber the things that she has done right.

    And by the way, for the people who said I'm just another "normal teenager". I think you missed the point of what I was saying. Did I say that I'm NOT a normal teenager? I said that my home situation is really bad but I NEVER EVEN MENTIONED that I'm not a "normal teenager". So what I'm saying is that I may be a "normal teenager", however my home life is really bad.

    Argue against what I'm talking about and don't accuse me of things that I never said.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Chill. No one was attacking you, but you've gone on the defensive. It's true that a LOT of teenagers whinge about their home life and parents. You've come to the decision that your Mum really is unreasonable, and that it's not just you in rebellious teenager mode- and you are really the only one who would know. What are you going to do? Have you looked at your options? You could move out, there are family mediation services and, well I'm not sure what else but you can find a solution where you're not miserable.
Sign In or Register to comment.