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why do i always do this?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok...so I've come to the realization that I have a problem, I'm just not entirely sure why I do this, but this happens with every guy I like. I am currently referring to one guy in particular, but this isn't an isolated case.
Basically, if a situation comes up where I am interested in a guy and have been for awhile, and I've been flirting with him quite a bit, I start to hang out with him and get to know him better. But then I start to get this intuition that maybe he might like me back, . And all of a sudden I start to question my feelings for him. It's like I'm just perfectly content just assuming that he doesn't like me back. I don't know..it's almost like I'm scared of starting a relationship or something.
This happened with my first and only boyfriend. I really liked him in high school, and didn't really know if he liked me back. But we kinda hung out some and I got the feeling that he liked me. And I kind of analyzed a lot of the things that he had said earlier to me, and they started to scare me. Like, his interest in me had become like an obsession or something. So I kind of steered clear of him for awhile, but I eventually started liking him again and we dated. But even while we were dating, I questioned it a lot again too.
So why would I do this? What do you guys think? Maybe I just like the idea of a relationship more than the relationship itself. I don't think this so much anymore, now that I have actually had a relationship before, but I used to always question, "Why don't I have a boyfriend? What must be wrong with me?" The idea of a relationship still appeals to me, but I just don't know why I can't accept that someone else likes me. I don't know. I need some advice.
Basically, if a situation comes up where I am interested in a guy and have been for awhile, and I've been flirting with him quite a bit, I start to hang out with him and get to know him better. But then I start to get this intuition that maybe he might like me back, . And all of a sudden I start to question my feelings for him. It's like I'm just perfectly content just assuming that he doesn't like me back. I don't know..it's almost like I'm scared of starting a relationship or something.
This happened with my first and only boyfriend. I really liked him in high school, and didn't really know if he liked me back. But we kinda hung out some and I got the feeling that he liked me. And I kind of analyzed a lot of the things that he had said earlier to me, and they started to scare me. Like, his interest in me had become like an obsession or something. So I kind of steered clear of him for awhile, but I eventually started liking him again and we dated. But even while we were dating, I questioned it a lot again too.
So why would I do this? What do you guys think? Maybe I just like the idea of a relationship more than the relationship itself. I don't think this so much anymore, now that I have actually had a relationship before, but I used to always question, "Why don't I have a boyfriend? What must be wrong with me?" The idea of a relationship still appeals to me, but I just don't know why I can't accept that someone else likes me. I don't know. I need some advice.
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I had a long relatioship with a guy but with no strings attached sort of thing - i didnt get to hung up on him, he wasnt my boyfriend but we were "seeing each other" (and fooling around) and i think that is what broke my shell into being more interested in guys and getting into a relationship.
How old are you by the way?
Hope it goes well
Jenni xxx
And see, the thing is, I really think I still like him, but that I'm just scared.
So the guy I'm currently "interested/not interested in" is in one of my courses, and I've known him since last year. I've always had a little crush on him, even when I only said a few words to him. So now I've gotten to know him more, and we've hung out together a few times by ourselves. Ever since I've got back from X-mas break, I've been noticing his interest in me. But when I was at the point of thinking that he is just nice and smiles all the time to everyone like he does to me, I still liked him a lot. But once I thought he acted differently around me than he does with most people and that I act differently around him, it kind of worried me. Is this normal to go through this confusion like this?