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Selfish in bed?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I have a bit of an issue with my partner currently. I look after her a lot sexually, I like giving and she always tells me how much she enjoys it. Trouble is, I don't get much back and it gets a bit frustrating. We all have needs right?! And a couple of times lately I've given her head and made her orgasm a couple of times, and she's said how great it was..... but then she sort of rolls over and nods off into a semi-sleepy state and I'm left twiddling my thumbs. Has anyone else felt the same and if so what did you do? Hints? I just don't feel it's the sort of thing you can say straight out without causing the other person to feel really bad and I don't want that to happen, but it is bugging me. Cheers.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well i know sometimes after i orgasm i feel a bit sleepy but not sleepy enough to carry on! could you try talking to her...but putting it carefully? or how about 69er?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have had the same. You should come straight out with it but try not to make her feel too bad about it.

    Tis fun to invent a sexual currency, assign different favours different values and you can 'trade' favours to increase your 'balance', if one favour is done all the time (and getting a chore) then increase its value like the stock market does with volume ect ect ect. Have fun!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ask her what's wrong. If she's tired then she will fall asleep, are you always initiating sex at 10 o'clock at night, for instance?

    If you're giving in order to receive you're going to be disappointed, but if she isn't especially interested in sex find out why. There's normally a reason, and its not normally the bloke.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    say oi bitch, its not gonna suck itself!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    \
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try sucking yourself off. when she asks" WTF are you doing?", say "well it doesn't look like you're going to do it..."

    Seriously, talking about it is probably the best way forward, but finding a good time is something only you can manage
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,283 Skive's The Limit
    Once she's rolled over, put on a porno and have wank.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    Once she's rolled over, put on a porno and have wank.

    lol :hyper: good idea
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ive been with guys who wouldn't do anything to me, one actually told me to leave 2mins after it, maybe shes had something like that before, maybe shes shy, talk to her. cos i know personally after that experience and another few I am cautious and shy now, sad i know
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rainbow brite wrote:
    say oi bitch, its not gonna suck itself!

    LOL. I must admit I was considering something with a little more tact :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Take control, when you are done with her, just take her head and
    bring it down there so she get the idea... or just bring your thing up there...

    Don't let her the time to relax...

    If she still don't want too, well easy just stop doing her and
    see how she like it ;)

    An eye for an eye, a mouth for a mouth :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nihilisticmadman wrote:
    If she still don't want too, well easy just stop doing her and
    see how she like it ;)

    Must admit, having thought about it, that might be a good way of getting the point across.....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Let her know that you'd like a bit more from her during sex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Museman wrote:
    Must admit, having thought about it, that might be a good way of getting the point across.....

    That's what I ended up doing. I find it very hard to talk to my gf about anything sexual and realyy didn't want to say "hey, it's not fair that I give you oral but you don't even bother with me"

    After a few weeks I think she got the message, she started giving me oral, and I went back to doing it too.

    I must say that sex is still quite one sided with us. She's not a very giving sort of person (not just in bed too), but it was a start.

    There really isn't a nice way to say, you're not doing enough for me, so maybe don't and let the actions do the talking. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Could be they just don't like oral. It happens. I've come to terms that the man doesn't like giving it and I just think, if the situation were turned around and it were me not a fan of it, I'd hope he'd have the decency and respect towards me to just let it be and not keep asking and complaining about it.
    However I do think they should make it up in other ways ;)
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