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but i think its more because of his size, he's not 14 yet but he looks older than me!
Its fair enough saying i need to respect my parents point of view, but they don't seem to be respecting mine or listening to what i say.
If ballerina had a cock there wouldn't be this issue IMHO.
Bad parents restrict their teenagers movements, IMHO. Fair enough if its a school night and it is before GCSEs, but in any other situation it is not.
Parents need to let their children make their own mistakes. How else do you learn, if mummy won't let you do anything?
It probably will be a big mistake for Ballerina here to go off like that. It'll end in tears- teen relationships nearly always do. But you can't save children from those tears, and to try to makes it worse then they are slapped in the face with life.
Children need to learn how to get hurt, how to make mistakes, and they need to learn before the mistakes are huge. They need to learn whilst they still have the nest to run back to. And that's the truth.
How do you learn what your drink limit is if mummy won't let you drink? How do you learn how to get chucked without blubbing if mummy won't let you have boyfriends? How do you learn that yes, that boy was a nobhead, if mummy grounds you?
Nobody wants to see their kids get hurt, but hiding them from life makes it a hell of a lot worse when life does drop-kick them in the nuts. They haven't learned how to deal with it.
I feel like they don't appreciate me sometimes.
Ah rite, just tell your parents to wise the fuck up!
Just tell them you're not going to be mommy's/daddy's little girl forever, that you're growing up and you're going to his house after your GCSE's.
I do, however, think you need to try and think about how they feel about you. You're their baby girl, they've watched you grow up, and they can still remember the day you were born. You, to them, will always be their baby.
I think girl in the curl's suggestion of going on day trips to him is a good one. You don't have to go to his, meet halfway. That way, if you get home safely, they know he's looked after you.
I fucked up my relationship with my mum by not listening to what she told me to do, and I should have. Turned out she was right, and she was speaking from experience. I don't think she's being that unreasonable, but you have to decide for yourself what to do. If they like him, they will let you go on day trips with him, and it progresses from there.
When I went to stay with Lewin over the summer, my mum only let me go because she knows he has a girlfriend, and she knew I'd be safe because it was the place I used to live, so she knew I'd know where I was going if I lost him, or something.
I dunno...it's your choice what to do, but don't expect her to give in just because you keep asking.
Ok, maybe I should have been less general with what I said last night, still 200 miles is a long way when you're 16, to stay with some bloke.
I don't think it's so much that... not that they think she's still a baby (although 16 DOES seem very young still, as you get older I must admit) but the pressure on parents is huge these days. You're made to be responsible for EVERYTHING your offspring do, even if they are sixteen and ought to be at least partly responsible for their own actions.
And unfortunately the way we're made to feel responsible at the moment is more big stick than juicy carrot... you understand what I mean? Well I hope someone will. When I was a kid, and a teenager, parents were parents and you decided how best to bring up your kids; now it's all prescribed by the nanny state and believe me, it does induce a kind of terror in you. Being a parent is hard enough without living in fear of policing from all manner of Govt. agencies, sometimes for the most ridiculous reasons.
I've posted along these lines before on another of your threads about your mum, Ballerina.
She's going through a hard time at the moment as well isn't she? Aren't your parents splitting up? That's probably a lot of pressure on her... if that's so I doubt if you continuing to ask her is going to make her say yes... more likely to make her blow up at you.
Now... I'm not saying you're wrong and she's right... because I don't know really. Unfortunately I can see it from both sides, and I DO believe that a parent's job is to prepare kids to be independent and not need them around to tell them what to do all the time. But... maybe, just maybe I can throw some light on why she is taking the stance that she is. I sincerely doubt that she's just doing it to be a bitch.
Sorry I can't tell you what you should do, that's up to you. But think long and hard about it, eh?
When my brother was 16 he was gallivanting off out at all hours of the night, he had tons of freedom. At 16, I was in at certain times, I was usually in at nights, I didn't go anywhere without them not knowing everything moment, where I was, who I was with, what time I'd be back etc...if I was a tiny bit late...my dad would be out looking for me. In my household, I used to be treated like the world was out to get me and I needed protecting. I'm 18, only last year was I ever allowed to stay around my boyfriends house, and this was because he'd spent tons of time with my rents, I'd spent loads with his. For a few weeks, I stayed in their spare room, then he started staying with me in the spare room, then I'd stay in his bed with him. My parents hate it when he stays over, they don't mind me over his, it's just the other way round they don't like. But, I always told them everything, where I'd be, when I'd be home, what we intended to be doing (cinema, renting a movie, going out for a meal...not mentioning any nookie!).
My parents respect me, they trust me. Alike you at school I was an angel, kept up with my work, worked hard never in trouble. But that just proves I'm a good pupil. That doesn't prove anything in terms of whether I'm a menace when I'm out on the town or out with a lad.
You're taking their 'no's as not trusting you and not respecting you. At 16, I wouldn't have even bothered asking my parents anything about staying over a bf's. I know, my parents would say no, and I just didn't bother and it was never something I had to give a reason to. They're my parents, if they say no, they say no. Yeah the excuses might seem lame but I think it's just their way of saying "It's not that we don't trust you, it's just we've never been confronted with this before and we'd be happier, if you were a little older before we let you travel 200 miles to stay with an older boyfriend". I never went against my parents will, and that showed I could be mature, that I'm not gonna kick up dust, I'll respect their decision and I'll bring the matter up again at another time. 16 is young, being 16 you're thinking it's old enough, but to them it's not. If I went against my parents, I would really hurt them. They're afraid for me, they just want me to be safe. If I go 200 miles away from them, wehn they said no, they'd be shitscared for my safety.
It's not easy being 16...it's not easy being the parent of a 16 year old and facing their questions that would force them to realise, that while you're growing up, you're still a teenager and it's an awkward age.
Think from their perspective when you're trying to persuade them how right yours is.
Hope you find some sort of resolution
But if you really want to go, just go, they can't literally force you to stay at home. Good Luck.
And if they found out what she's done, she's likely to be in trouble isn't she?
whats confusing me is, that my parents say how great he is, and how much they like him - that he's so polite and helpful etc, yet they don't trust him to be alone with me. but they won't explain
its so frustrating because they haven't actually told me what the problem is.
Ballerina, it's not about trust. If they're not comfortable, they're just not! You're 16 at the end of the day.
That's exactly what I thought.
Stop being a teenage stereotype. Stand up for yourself, or don't. There isn't any other advice.
My mum said she doesnt want me to go and do something stupid, so i said if i do make a mistake then its my own fault and i have to learn from it.
Which may be why she told you no in the first place.
parents are like that. they'll say 'don't do such and such' but not actually give you a reason why. it's just because. why doesn't his housemate want you to stay over? glad it's looking better. :yes:
Eat lettuce and poop everywhere?
Thats probably the most reasonable response in this whole thread.
God sake.
Life goes on, yanno if your Mammy tells you no.