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Is A Pistol Better Than A Woman ~ ?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
A little humor to brighten your day!
Why a Handgun is Better Than a Woman
You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
You can trade a .44 for two .22's.
You can have a handgun at home and another for the road.
If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will be impressed and let you try a few rounds with it.
Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.
Your handgun will stay with you even if you are out of ammo.
A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
Handguns function normally every day of the month.
A handgun won't ask, "Do these grips make me look fat?"
A handgun does not mind if you go to sleep after you're done using it.
You can have more than one handgun living in the same house without having problems.
Why a Handgun is Better Than a Woman
You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
You can trade a .44 for two .22's.
You can have a handgun at home and another for the road.
If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will be impressed and let you try a few rounds with it.
Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.
Your handgun will stay with you even if you are out of ammo.
A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
Handguns function normally every day of the month.
A handgun won't ask, "Do these grips make me look fat?"
A handgun does not mind if you go to sleep after you're done using it.
You can have more than one handgun living in the same house without having problems.
0
Comments
The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and
there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.
The guy asks what the surgery is. The doctor tells him they take the muscles
from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base of his penis,
and hope for the best. The guy says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of
never having sex again is even scarier so go ahead.
The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later gives him
the go ahead to "try out his new equipment."
The guy takes his girlfriend out to dinner. While at dinner he starts feeling an
incredible pressure in his pants. It gets unbearable and he figures no one can
see him so he undoes his pants. No sooner does he do this than his penis pops
out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears
back into his pants. His girlfriend sits in shock for a few moments, and then
gets a sly look on her face.
She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?" With his eyes watering
and a painful expression on his face, he says, "Probably, but I don't know if I
can fit another dinner roll up my ass."
The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and
there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.
The guy asks what the surgery is. The doctor tells him they take the muscles
from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base of his penis,
and hope for the best. The guy says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of
never having sex again is even scarier so go ahead.
The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later gives him
the go ahead to "try out his new equipment."
The guy takes his girlfriend out to dinner. While at dinner he starts feeling an
incredible pressure in his pants. It gets unbearable and he figures no one can
see him so he undoes his pants. No sooner does he do this than his penis pops
out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears
back into his pants. His girlfriend sits in shock for a few moments, and then
gets a sly look on her face.
She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?" With his eyes watering
and a painful expression on his face, he says, "Probably, but I don't know if I
can fit another dinner roll up my ass."
12 REASONS A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A MAN
1. Handguns can be used to repel bad guys - and you won't have to listen to the story about how they did it for the next six years.
2. Handguns don't emit noxious gases (unless you're using Armscor or Wolf ammo!)
3. Handguns only need a good boring out with a wire brush and a wipedown with oil for "a special evening".
4. Handguns don't have expensive hobbies, like jetskis, motorcycles, and computers.
5. Handguns don't gripe about your cooking; they don't care what they eat as long as it's ammunition.
6. If the barrel is too small or too short on your handgun, you can buy another handgun with a bigger, longer barrel.
7. Handguns don't require a half-hour of reassurance when they misfire, misfeed, or malfunction.
8. You get to decide what pictures a handgun shoots at.
9. If you ignore a handgun for six months, it won't start shooting wildly if you start using it again.
10. Handguns don't malfunction if you don't pull their trigger "that certain special way" every time.
11. Handguns don't whine when you take them to the department store, the opera, the hairdresser's, the nail salon, the OB/GYN...
12. Handguns are reliable; if you have one that's broken, you can send it back to the factory again and again until it's fixed to your liking.
<IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
Your'e a pyscho mate.
Oh, and continued at:
http://ericzorn.com/rhubarb/concealedcarry/ <img src="http://www.plauder-smilies.de/happy/coffee.gif" alt="image">
1)you can have sex with women
2)women kiss you good night
3)you can talk to women and not look like a weirdo.
And you think Diesel hasn't tried it with a gun?
Actually... been many times that I was thankful that there was a pistol with me to help get me out of a bad place, rather than a woman to help get me into one.
BUT... the reality is that I prefer an AK (or FAL) to a pistol; it's just a little more difficult to carry the AK in "polite" company, holstered under the sweater or jacket...
To be accurate, I would believe that Diesel DOES use his gun, rather than a rifle or a sidearm... <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
Can you imagine the shock on the girl's face if he stuck in a pistol, rather than his gun? <IMG SRC="eek.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
Oh... I fergot! Being a sheep means you don't know the difference between a rifle and a gun... LMFAO!
"This is my rifle,
This is my gun;
This is for fighting,
And this is for fun!"
[ 12-04-2002: Message edited by: Thanatos...AGAIN ]
<img src="http://www.plauder-smilies.de/happy/coffee.gif" alt="image">
Yes, i've seen full metal jacket.
A gun is usually mounted on a battleship.
Tanks have cannons and people use rifles.
People commonly have sex with women, however from what we've seen in the USA it may not be the case.
*smiles at pun* <IMG SRC="eek.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="eek.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">