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Confused

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Been with my boyf for 2 years and a half, we moved in together and brought a flat year and half ago. Things have got boring between us, loads of arguments, never having any money, no sex life, he never does anything to help around the flat, we hardly talk to each other and when we do we argue. Been thinking loads recently, not sure if i wanna be with him anymore. I miss being able to do my own thing, my freedom, seeing mates etc. Stayed at my mums last weekend and loved it, it was good having time away from him but made me think. We are selling our flat and moving back home to have time apart, but dont know if this will split us up becuase his dad lives 30miles away from my mum. Just dont wanna split up with him and then realise it was a big mistake, as they say grass is greener on the other side. Anyone else ben in this position before? We did u do? Do u think time apart for a bit wil sort my head out? Went round my exs one night last weekend too, just to see him and for a chat :chin:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personally i think it's pretty soon to move in together after 1 1/2 years - but thats just me. it can be the making or the breaking of a relationship sometimes. i guess you're only young, there's no need to be living with your bf just yet. if you're gonna be together forever then enjoy your freedom first. there's no reason why a 30 mile journey should seperate you, really. just because you're both moving out doesn't mean that you have to split up, either.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my opinion you moved in with each other too soon.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think you're right to have some time apart, if you're not totally happy living together at the moment then whats the point in carrying on like that, obviously something needs to change. maybe when you've had some time apart it will give you both some time to realise what you want.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I now know that we moved in way to soon, but at the time i was pushed into it. Im stuck at out flat until it sells and that could be a while. Never been so confused before, how do u know when u dont love someone anymore? Went round my exs last night, and yep u guessed it something happened and i liked it :banghead:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I keep thinking if i split up with him will i regret it, will i miss him? Dont want to make a mistake :crying: Its hard because we are having to split up all our furniture/ things we brought together. argh :mad:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Slightly off topic, I dont think you moved in too soon. If things are the way they are now, it was probalby going to happen whether you lived together or not, just in different ways. I moved in with my man after only a few months. (well also my lease was up, i hated looking for places and he offered cuz he owns a 2 bedroom)

    If your not happy then don't do it. Is it possible you could find a place on your own while your waiting for the place to sell? It may be tough, it usually is, but its not worth you feeling like crap over.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im going to live with my mum, and i can move in while it is waiting to sell, will just have to pay the mortgage while no one is living there. I have been really unhappy for a while, just need time to sort my head out really
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hope things go the best for you. Time is good and I'm glad you've got a place to stay. Chin up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think the best thing for you to do is to move in with your mum for a while and also have a mutual agreement with your boyfriend about having minimal or no contact for say 2-4 weeks and then meeting up to just talk honestly about each others feelings.

    i've been through this myself and i know it is easier said than done, however for both of your sakes it has to be done.

    wish you all the best.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You seem to be forgetting something....you just slept with another guy? or is that ok in your eyes as long as he dont find out? hasnt this now made it clear?

    *sighs* doesnt know where morals have gone these days
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No im not forgetting that, (well im trying too) what happened happened, and i dont have regrets in life. He wont find out anyway
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    doesnt know where morals have gone these days

    yep seems like the more we "evolve" the more morals go down the toilet...

    It's sad really... Even in love there is no respect anymore, no honesty...
    Miss_N wrote:
    No im not forgetting that, (well im trying too) what happened happened, and i dont have regrets in life. He wont find out anyway

    He is a lucky man...

    You really think a really think a relationship that is not based on honesty is going to last?

    Do him a favor and leave him...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well if youre not happy and cheating/thinking of cheating, then you already know that you have to leave. Its not fair on you OR him to keep the relationship going under false pretences.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_N wrote:
    He wont find out anyway
    what a lovely attitude you have! i admire the way you think! why can't more people be like you?

    (in case you can't tell - i was being SARCASTIC)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personally i think it's pretty soon to move in together after 1 1/2 years

    Nah, no way it is. Hate to say it, but we did.

    Either you can live with someone, or you can't. If you can't then the relationship will die. That's life.

    To tell the truth, I think the fact that you're selling up and moving out kinda shows you both know its dead in the water.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We were selling to get a bigger place, but were gonna move back home first to save and pay off debts.But now i dont think we will get that far. After things happened with my ex it made me realise how i miss being able to do what i want, and have fun. I just want to be happy again which i havent for ages.
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