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Confused

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 year and its a long distance relationship. Just lately I am getting fed up with the relationship and want to be single for a while. There are many reasons why I want to end it, these are:-

1) I feel the relationship is very one sided. I feel that it is always me who is making the effort to go and see him but he doesn't really come and see me (came to see me once last year).

2) I think we are drifting apart. We don't really seem to talk as much as we used to.

3) He doesn't like going out drinking or clubbing or anything like that which at first didn't bother me but now I want someone who will come out with me. He won't even take me out for meals or anything, he would rather stay in or go to McDs.

4) I don't think I want to be tied down so young, I am only 19 and the only way for us to be together is for me to move down with him as he wouldn't even consider moving up here.

Sorry that is my way of clearing my head. I am so confused at the moment I don't know what to do. I don't even know the best way to break up with him.

Help please! :confused:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your 19...........

    you've experienced a relationship, now I think you should o out and enjoy yourself for a while. It will only get worse if you stay with him and your'll resent him!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The main question here is, do you love him and does he love you?

    If he love you that much, I think he wouldn't might moving as well, when you love you mainly one to be as close as possible to that person and the rest does not matter much.

    Just that show what you were saying about your one sided relationship.

    One sided relationship rarely last for long. From what you said seems like
    you are already tired of having to always do everything so you relationship
    keep on going.

    Frankly, I think you want someone that want to be with you and will not always come to visit once a year...

    Most men that are in a relationship will have no trouble in travelling to go see their girl...

    If you don't go and see him at all, does he still not come?

    If you are still not sure, just try not doing all the travelling and contacting.
    If he doesn't show more intesrest to see you, then I would say he is probably not that into you unfortunatly.

    At the end you want to be in a relationship where you will feel desire, instead of making you wonder.

    There is no good or bad ways of breaking up.

    Also doing it face to face is always better if you go and do this.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do love him but its too hard. If he loves me then why won't he come up more and see me or want to move up here? If I didn't go down he wouldn't come up.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe it's a bit much to end the relatioship as such - have you spoken to him about how you're feeling? maybe he doesn't realise how you feel and when he did, would make more of an effort.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    spoken to him about it loads of times, makes no difference,
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ultimatum time?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what do you mean?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ~kaz~ wrote:
    what do you mean?

    You give him a date... If he hasn't changed by that date.. it's finish...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think that would make any difference either.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ~kaz~ wrote:
    I don't think that would make any difference either.

    Well what's the point then?

    If he can't do that, what kind of relationship will you get out of it in the future?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes I know that but I just hate hurting people. Plus will hurt me too, just scared.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ~kaz~ wrote:
    Yes I know that but I just hate hurting people. Plus will hurt me too, just scared.
    you get what you settle for.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Kaz, long distance relashonships very rearly work and by the sounds of things you do love him very much, its not nice to hurt the people you love But its not nice to tear yourself apart either and at the end of the day you have to think about you first
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ~kaz~ wrote:
    Yes I know that but I just hate hurting people. Plus will hurt me too, just scared.

    Breakups are never easy, but you have to do, what you have to do...

    It will hurt, but you know it need to be done and with time you'll be glad you did...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Breakups are never easy, but you have to do, what you have to do...

    It will hurt, but you know it need to be done and with time you'll be glad you did...

    I know that all true but all these thoughts keep going through my head, will I find someone else? am i making a mistake?

    I think he knows something is up becuase he asked me if I was ok with him last night, I should of maybe said something then but I didn't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ~kaz~ wrote:
    I know that all true but all these thoughts keep going through my head, will I find someone else? am i making a mistake?

    Frankly you are 19, do you really think you won't find someone else?

    It can't be a mistake if the relationship you have already make you unhappy.

    Satying and hoping that it will get better, even tho deep down, you know it won't.... well now that would be the mistake...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Suppose. Also we are ment to be going to London in March and Id like to wait till after that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ~kaz~ wrote:
    Suppose. Also we are ment to be going to London in March and Id like to wait till after that.

    Well give him until then, it is still few months which should give you enough time to sort out what you want to do with the all thing.

    If you love him and you think there might be still something to save, then go and try to save it...

    I don't want to tell you to break up with him, but just make sure to really think of your future with him and see if you see yourself happy.

    Cos down the line it is best to break up things now and move on, than wait years to come to the same rseult, but time would have been already wasted.

    Never and easy decision to make.
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