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Calls for total ban on smacking
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
0
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Comments
I'd like to think we could all bring up our children without having the need to use the negative reinforcement of smacking, but I also don't think it is inherently wrong. Used sparingly as an extreme form of discipline and as long as it is not used routinely, I think it does no harm at all.
Half the problem with the yoof of today is that they are not disciplined. Of course, generally there's a better solution than smacking, but a short, sharp shock can do the job where nothing else does.
Comparing it to child abuse in my opinion both paints a distasteful picture of the many parents who have ever smacked a child in the past, and completely belittles real cases of abuse.
What do you think people should do instead then?
Sometimes a smack MIGHT be necessary, but I tend to think its the parent losing control more than anything - not that that is unforgiveable or anything. I think hitting should be a complete last resort, as violence can often breed violence.
It seems to me that parents generally feel guilty about smacking and feel the need to excuse their behaviour with 'oh but my parents did it'. Smacking is learned behaviour, its a pattern and I think it needs to be broken.
I'm not saying that every smacked child is going to need counselling for the rest of their lives but that child is going to learn that violence is acceptable. I dont geddit. Junior hits Bobby at playgroup so Junior's father smacks Junior to teach him a lesson. HELLO!? Isn't this the same thing? I reckon the age difference makes it all the more worse to be honest.
A parent smacks because THEY lose it. They lose control of the situation. You can come up with plenty of scenarios where you think smacking would be of relevence. One that is often used is 'If a child is walking towards a fire. A quick smack to the back of the legs will deliver the shock factor and save the child from danger'. But surely if you're close enough to whack your kid in the back of the legs..then you are close enough to pull your child away?? I dont think smacking is excusable ever.
I know quite a few of you are rentz on ere so please dont jump on me thinking I am calling you a bad parent. I just might disagree with your method of 'discipline'.
almost every method is good in moderation
I’m pretty indifferent, not a parent so not really a qualified authority on this. Although I don’t see the point in banning smacking. Don’t see how it could be enforced and there is a clear distinction between smacking/discipline and child abuse. The law as it is provides a suitable framework to prosecute in case of the latter.
The thing is most parents don’t gratuitously smack their kids, most do it if their kid ran out into the road or something and only very occasionally smack their child when they believe it’s absolutely essential. There’s a minority that abuse smacking and they’re probably guilty of other forms of child abuse as well that are already outlawed – it should be these people that we’re worrying about; not law-abiding parents disciplining their children. So, I guess I'm not that indifferent.
I know plenty of people who oppose smacking and have infact squeezed quite a few out. Anyway, I oppose a man hitting his wife. Yet I don't have a wife. Not experiencing something doesnt stop you from having a strong opinion and it doesn't make it any less valid.
There are occasions when reasoning is just not possible. I would be interested to know how to reason with a one year old, or why it is better than a mild slap on the back of the hand to teach them not to touch something. Better to use the Pavlov approach than the third degree burns apprach, non?
Smacking has always been my last resort and I haven't used it for some time.
No he's not. Do you believe that I think violence is acceptable?
Your emotive language suggests that Junior's father is actually giving a beating, which is not smacking.
Could be true in some circumstances, certainly not all.
anyone that used to go at school back then that was traumatise from it...
Smacking sometimes is the only solution, one of my aunt never used to smack, but her kids went so bad they were playing tennis, football in the house. And when the kids were fighting they used to throw at each other knifes, froks...
She end up cracking up and not just saying they will get smack, but actually do it, she had to the situation was out of control... Specially since she have 5 boys...
i agree.
i also think the use of the word 'violence' to describe smacking is pretty sensationalist. if you are injuring your child, you are not smacking them, you are hitting them, which is obviously wrong.
smacking should barely hurt, and it works more because it is a shock and they are embarrassed rather than because they are in pain. a lot of the parents i know say they only actually had to smack their child once or twice before they were able to stop doing it, because simply saying 'i'll smack!' works just as well.
i don't want to smack my kids and i hope i never have to, but sometimes you need a last resort, and if i had to do it i would find it ridiculous and downright offensive to be put in a category with people who abuse their kids.
Dad never really smacked me though. Mum did but it was never very hard, just enough to make me stop what I was doing. However, because of the 'fear' of it as a punishment, I think in my developmental years I was better behaved. Now, Im not really scared of mum slapping my legs
Of course, if you're clever you could instill a fear of the naughty step into your kids to achieve the same aim.
Not that its relevant, but my sister seldom got smacked because she was a girl, and now shes dropped out of school, my mums picking up fines and summons for her skiving, she hangs out with a bad crowd etc. - my mum thinks the only place she went wrong is she and my dad werent firm enough with her, she got away with murder sometimes.