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im so self critical and i have no confidence!!!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok, this problem has always been an issue for me, especially since high school. I have no self confidence!!! I cant actually find a thing about me that i like!!! Ive tried so hard, but im always comparing myself to other people!
Like, the other night i went to the pub, and when i met up with the people meeting, i instantly felt so ugly and paranoid - like they were talking about me and slagging me off when they went to the toilets/bar - but deep down i know they'de never do this!
i feel so insecure, its beginnning to drive me insane! its getting to the stage where i dont want to go out as much, bcos i feel as though people are laughing at me! My b.f says he loves+fancies me, but i really cant believe he'd fancy me when i have no confidence!
Does anyone know what i can do to help, or is it just something im stuck with??? I always try to dress nicely and do my hair+make-up, etc, especially when i go out. But, still, i feel hideous
Advice please!!!
Thank you!
Like, the other night i went to the pub, and when i met up with the people meeting, i instantly felt so ugly and paranoid - like they were talking about me and slagging me off when they went to the toilets/bar - but deep down i know they'de never do this!
i feel so insecure, its beginnning to drive me insane! its getting to the stage where i dont want to go out as much, bcos i feel as though people are laughing at me! My b.f says he loves+fancies me, but i really cant believe he'd fancy me when i have no confidence!
Does anyone know what i can do to help, or is it just something im stuck with??? I always try to dress nicely and do my hair+make-up, etc, especially when i go out. But, still, i feel hideous
Advice please!!!
Thank you!
0
Comments
I've always been self critical about myself and appearance as don't what people could see in me. Could be why i've only got a a few very close friends (who are always there for me, shame none of them live near me anymore) and not much else.
I was a little surprised to see you post this as from the advice and other posts i've seen you put up, you seem like you have lots of confidence. All i can say is try not to let it get to you, keep smiling and i'm sure others on here would say we're all here if you need us.
I have tried slowly building up my confidence, and it worked for a small time after high school, only to have it knocked right back down again by my first bf. He wore me down+in the end i ended up believing everything he said, and i still do sometimes. Thing such as; you're so ugly you'd never leave me bcos no1 else would have you!
Fortunately now, i have such a lovely b.f, although i constantly worry about him leaving me for someone better looking. I have lots of friends, but not much time for hobbies, what with uni and work.
thanx again x x
I know that with your past experience with a crappy boyfriend it's going to be difficult (although the fact that you've got a lovely new blokey shoots his nasty words and theories right into dust) but you need to start believing him when he says this. He wouldn't be with you otherwise, would he?
But it's you he fancies, remember?
Try and focus on your strengths and good points,your friends and boyfriend, and all the rest of the positives about you and your life, and little by little you should find the confidence creeping up. Good luck :-)
Least you have a boyfriend and someone I have nothing
That's the hard thing. Things trigger and hardwire low self-esteem, the important thing is to work out what they are, and work out how to deal with the bad memories. It is very much possible, but its not easy to train yourself to not listen to the bad voices.