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Long-distance relationships

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 20 and the age gap doesn't bother us at all. We've been friends for a year before we started going out and there's one thing that's bothering me, the distance between us. We live 16 miles apart when he's home on breaks which isn't too bad but he's in university two and a half hours from my home. He's buying a car in the summer and I'm learning to drive to help us out and we've made a pact that together our love will pull us through this distance for a few months a year.
I'm just wondering, does anyone have opinions on this?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This could go two ways.

    'Love makes the heart grow fonder...'

    and

    'Out of sight, out of mind..'

    I think that when you're apart from someone, it can be healthy for a relationship as time alone can help you develop as you won't have someone to constantly depend on. If you think about it, before you met your boyfriend you had a whole lifeterms worth of self development which is what made your first meeting as a couple so good to start a relationship cos he wanted to know you and you wanted to know him. Once you start depending on each other so much, that fascination with the other person detoriates and the relationship would feel like a chore. That's why distance is good (I hope that all made sense). You start to appreciate everything about them and you start to gloss over their faults and I'm sure your boyfriend would think like this as well. There can be too much distance though as so much can make one forget about someone so regular phone calls/email/MSN chats and letters would do both of you the world of good including odd visits of course. If your love is so strong it would be able to withstand a bit of distance. If it can't then you know it wasn't meant to be. Throw fire into the wind and risk it, you don't want to live with regrets.

    :yippe:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your long distance is nothing. People have coped with more, you just have to be commited.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    me and my boyfriend have been going out for 11 months now, we met on here. i was living in spain and he was in london. we saw each other about every 3 or 4 months. I think it made our relationship very strong. like mist said, you do have to be commited, and you also have to have a lot of trust and be trustworthy. im not saying it's easy because i know its not and its painfull when you can't see the one you love, but in the long-run, you do end up with a beautiful relationship.

    just keep with it keep in contact with him and do the best you can.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    me and my boyfriend have been going out for 11 months now, we met on here. i was living in spain and he was in london. we saw each other about every 3 or 4 months. I think it made our relationship very strong. like mist said, you do have to be commited, and you also have to have a lot of trust and be trustworthy. im not saying it's easy because i know its not and its painfull when you can't see the one you love, but in the long-run, you do end up with a beautiful relationship.

    just keep with it keep in contact with him and do the best you can.

    Do you see your boyfriend more now? I am in a long distance relationship and we try to see each other as much as possilble. Last time I saw him was on november and I am going to see him for the new year. Its hard but your distance isn't as bad as what some people cope with. My boyfriend is an 11 hour bus journy away.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah Long distance is hard but it definitely makes your relationship a lot stronger than your average relationship. It really tests you, and i think that's really good!
    Its a real struggle with me because my boyfriend & me spend a lot of time together when we're at University, but in the holidays we're miles away from one another. We come as a duo, so it feels strange to be without him but it definitely means we appreciate each other more when we do spend time together!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think this is a test to your relationship and if it works out for you then you know that you have something really good. ive been in a long distance relationship and it didnt work out but i was very young (16) at the time and now i look back and realise that i was right to end it because he wasnt right for me, i think if he had been we would have made it. its hard being apart from someone you love but if you both want to be together then i think it'll work out in the end.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my experience, LDRs don't work but, having said that, for the past 5 months, I've been about 10,000 miles away from my GF and it has been fine. And she's coming over tomorrow. W00t.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my experience, LDRs don't work but

    In mine too.

    In other people's experiences they do, though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mine is still working - I've been with my boyfriend for just over eighteen months now. He's currently on his placement year so works/lives away during the week, about two hours drive away from me and his parent's home. We see each other every weekend now but we have gone about three weeks without seeing each other in the past. You've just got to keep in touch and keep interested - don't let your attention to your relationship slip otherwise then you will get problems. It's not much different to a normal relationship really - just make the most of your time together, and don't pile on the pressure and guilt trips if one of you can't make it to see the other for any particular reason.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I tend to think that people end up regretting more things they didn't do than things they tried and failed at. So, always best to give it a go, or you'll always be wondering :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ~kaz~ wrote:
    Do you see your boyfriend more now? I am in a long distance relationship and we try to see each other as much as possilble. Last time I saw him was on november and I am going to see him for the new year. Its hard but your distance isn't as bad as what some people cope with. My boyfriend is an 11 hour bus journy away.

    we're not that long distance anymore ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LDRs are hard. Hard as hell. But they can happen. As long as you both are willing to make things work, they will. And as corny as it sounds, love makes no sense of space or time. Love transcends reality. It's cliched, only because it's true.

    I just say go for it, and work through the bad patches together, and enjoy each other's company.

    Good luck and all the best!
    (My LDR is still going strong)
    x
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