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I'm too scared (i think)
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been wanting to post this for a while, but y'know....i've never been drunk enough and on the internet to do it...anyway....
A few weeks ago i met someone and to cut things really short, we're getting on great, when we're out in the same place, we just spend all night talking to each other, and when we're not out all night, we pretty much spend most of our nights in talking on the internet. As much of a cliché as it sounds everything about this just feels so right to me, but at the same time there's so much standing in the way...for a start there's an age difference of 3 years. I know it's not loads....but i'm 19, and obviously that makes her 16, and basically my notions of taking someone out don't really extend beyond the pub. (Hahaha, i know, well i can't come up with much else, but i think it really does make a difference) then there is the problem that though we're from the same town originally, i'm at university somewhere else, and this just seems that to cause so much of a problem. (even though at the moment i tend to come back every week or two anyway - how we met) it's easy to see how this would pose difficulties.
But we get on so great, and everything is just feeling so right, i'd love to just take it to the next step, at least so we went out just me and her, and didn't just sort of go with friends to the same place, and meet up if that make sense. The real problem here is that i just can't physically do it. And i guess i'm posting this because i have really good feeling about this; despite all apparent obstacles, and i just don't want to make the same mistake i've made in the past and end up just 'friends' by leaving it too long.
So i guess what i'm asking of you noble people, is how exactly you would take things that step further in my shoes. I know you'll probably say just tell her, but i find it so difficult! Over the interne seems impersonal, and when we're together, i can never seem to find the words to say, let alone the right time to say them.
I apologise in advance if this post seems rambling or incoherent. i blame the christmas festivities and copious amounts of sambuca for me even posting in the first place.
A few weeks ago i met someone and to cut things really short, we're getting on great, when we're out in the same place, we just spend all night talking to each other, and when we're not out all night, we pretty much spend most of our nights in talking on the internet. As much of a cliché as it sounds everything about this just feels so right to me, but at the same time there's so much standing in the way...for a start there's an age difference of 3 years. I know it's not loads....but i'm 19, and obviously that makes her 16, and basically my notions of taking someone out don't really extend beyond the pub. (Hahaha, i know, well i can't come up with much else, but i think it really does make a difference) then there is the problem that though we're from the same town originally, i'm at university somewhere else, and this just seems that to cause so much of a problem. (even though at the moment i tend to come back every week or two anyway - how we met) it's easy to see how this would pose difficulties.
But we get on so great, and everything is just feeling so right, i'd love to just take it to the next step, at least so we went out just me and her, and didn't just sort of go with friends to the same place, and meet up if that make sense. The real problem here is that i just can't physically do it. And i guess i'm posting this because i have really good feeling about this; despite all apparent obstacles, and i just don't want to make the same mistake i've made in the past and end up just 'friends' by leaving it too long.
So i guess what i'm asking of you noble people, is how exactly you would take things that step further in my shoes. I know you'll probably say just tell her, but i find it so difficult! Over the interne seems impersonal, and when we're together, i can never seem to find the words to say, let alone the right time to say them.
I apologise in advance if this post seems rambling or incoherent. i blame the christmas festivities and copious amounts of sambuca for me even posting in the first place.
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Comments
Secondly - I can see where you're coming from with the age gap, but I don't think you should let that be the ultimate factor in deciding whether or not to give it a go. If my housemates had let the age gap bother them (he's 41, she's 24) they would never have got married and wouldn't now be having the time of their lives travelling in New Zealand. At the end of the day you fall in love with someone regardless of their age (OK, of course there are limits - a 61 year old and a 15 year old might be a bit of a problem) but three years really isn't that much. So she can't go with you to the pub yet - so what? There's the cinema, there's bowling, there's getting a DVD and a pizza and chilling out at home...it won't be long before she can drink anyway and gives you the opportunity to think of fun other things to do in the meantime.
Basically I just think life is too short to constantly think "what if" and to let obstacles like age and distance get in the way of what has potential to be a great experience for the both of you. If you like her and she likes you, I say go for it! You have nothing to lose. In terms of how to take things further, just say something casual like "I really want to see that new film [insert title here]. Do you fancy coming with me next week sometime?" It's not hard to say - it gives her the get-out clause of being busy/skint/whatever if she's not up for it which means you both save face in the event of a misinterpretation of her feelings. My advice to you is really just tell her - otherwise you will find yourself in a couple of months kicking yourself for not having given things a shot. Believe me I've been there and like I said, life's too short!
Don't let the age difference put you off.
Get some mistletoe. Go see her. Hold it up, give her a peck on the lips. Pull back, tell her that you really like her and can't stop thinking about her, and go back for a second peck. The ball is then firmly in her court
Age isn't really the problem, she'll be 17 soon, and hmmm well i'd definately say she's as mature as me. I guess there's a big difference between school and college. I think maybe i'm just looking for excuses when i should just be going for it.
It doesn't seem to happen alot of the time with posts like this, so maybe someone will feel a little better
Cheers guys; (i still don't want to read what i wrote when i was drunk haha)
rite im ach havin the same problem but i fancied this girl like a year ago and for 2weeks now i've been chatting to here on msn allnights and just yesterday i met up wid her and she huged me like 3times but squeezed hard on all of them i dont kno if that meens she likes me again
haha okkay thanks
word of advice, don't post in old threads, this is almost 4 years old! It's ok to search for info and if you don't find what you are looking for then start a new thread (I've explained how in my thread in Anything Goes) but don't post in ancient threads!