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mums and girlfriends

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
bit pissed off tonight acctually. i met this girl who is 5 years older than me (im 25 she 30 just turned)and my mum said to me that i should be with someone my own age and when ever i talk about it to anyone and my mum is around i can tell by her facial expression that she is a bit pissed about it.

i said to her do you have a problem with me being with someone older than my self and she said that she doesnt care what i do and its nothing to do with her. she aslo reckoned she was joking but i can tell she wasnt. another thing she said was its not like me and this new girl im seeing (of 2 weeks) are in a stable relationship which is fair enough but it still buged me that she has to be so pissed off.

i know its sounds like mummy still wipes my nose and ties my shoe laces but its not... just to make that clear.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe your mum is a bit jealous that this woman is maybe nearer to her age than shes used to from your partners, your mum maybe feels more on par with your new girlfriend and so feels like she's competing with her. maybe if you talk to your mum and tell her you value her opinion so you want her to give your new girlfriend a chance?
    good luck xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry for the lack of punctuation there!

    Yeah, I could speak to her but all I get is the same old trash 'I don't care what you do, it's your life yadda yadda yadda'.

    I thought maybe that because I am the youngest of 3 that she may feel like this fully grown woman is taking me away from her?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what the f**k has it got to do with your mother anyway?!
    sorry but, its your life and if the age gap doesn't matter to you then it shouldn't to her. talk to her about it. i'm sure really deep down she just wants you to be happy?!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's the question, and how can we advise you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do what you want, you are 25 years old! Five years age difference isn't really that huge a deal, surely? Don't let your mum control and influence who you can and cannot see.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    5year differance is nothing. if you like this woman whos business is it but yours and hers. sorry to say this but if you mum has a problem with it its her problem
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I quite agree with the others, really it's your business who you date, you're old enogh to decide this for yourself.

    However if your mum's attitude keeps bugging you, I say confront her. From the outside it looks like your mum is giving out mixed messages, she says she doesn't care and it's your decision but with her attitude she acts like she does care (facial expressions are a form of communication just as valid as words are). So my advice is this: point this out to her, next time you're on the subject tell her that you're not really convinced that she's OK with it cause you can tell by her expression. With this she will only have 2 choices: admit that she has a problem with it and can be the beginning of a conversation about it, or she'll deny everything but will start to change her face (and her attitude) in the future.

    Hope it helps...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I say ignore her. If she insists she's fine about it then take her exactly at her word. She'll either have to swallow it or spit it out, won't she? Like everyone else said, it's not her business anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you're 25. you're a grown man. tell her to stop being such a nosey bint. 5 years is nothing, really.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bf2dude wrote:
    i know its sounds like mummy still wipes my nose and ties my shoe laces but its not... just to make that clear.

    No? Then why give a fuck? :confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is a hard one. You may not be a "mummy's boy," as you highlighted but that doesn't mean that you don't care what your mum thinks and it doesn't mean that having her approval is not important to you. However, in this situation I'd have to agree with some of the other posters, you are not a teenager anymore and although your mum might appear to disapprove of your choice, her opinion doesn't count now. The fact that your mum is denying that she has a problem with your relationship when you clearly think that she does, shows that she knows that she has no right to step in and say anything. You're a big boy now and such choices are yours and yours alone, by denying being annoyed your mum is showing that she knows that too. Just go with what feels right.
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