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well thanks for those that said I can talk on here but since my name thinks I've overdramatized it all I best not bother, least I be accused of something else.
on a techical note, it was an email for personal use on the compnay email system, 1 I might add but in reality it was what people said about me.
But in terms of your love life, there's even more to learn I think. First, that you worked up the guts to talk to her, introduce yourself and everything. From the sound of it, you were really scared at first, but you manged to pull it off quite nicely. So take a note of that. You are able to do this sort of thing. It didn't work now which is a shame but it might work in the future.
And don't quit being nice, no matter what people said about you! Being nice is always a good thing. Overdoing it might not be the best but I'm sure that if you're just yourself you won't. From what I've read on your posts you're a really decent and sweet guy, maybe if you don't focus so much on trying to please (which sometimes scares people off), your natural niceness and decency will show through and I think that's the most attractive thing of all.
Good luck!
I really give up. and I have no recourse as a temp either. I wa strying to be myself. When I got there I was sooo quiet , it was mentioned even, so I talk more and be more friendly and this is what I get??
I mean one women that goes a bit over the top I get, the technical detail about the emil, even tho everone does it ok, but then 2 random compalints when I promise you they have nothing to complain over is just malicous so whats the point?
I know this sucks, but it's what I've learned from my own experience.
I now work in an office in the Square Mile (in London) for a very large financial institution. In my time there I have worked with some of the nastiest people I've ever known, and experienced all sorts of office politics. At the same time I've also met some wonderful people. If anything it is a slightly nicer environment than I experienced at medical school - however when I entered this environment I knew what I was getting myself into.
As I said early on in this thread, you have to be very careful about everything you do in an office. It is a very closed environment. There are lots of different personalities, and all sorts of agendas. People will often mis-interpret your actions, sometimes consciously.
A large office is different to a small office, and a large team is different to a small team. People can also feel threatened when younger ambitious and motivated people come into a department.
Do any of the reasons for you leaving bear a direct relation to your interations with the woman you were interested in, or is it just about how you were in general? Also, what do you mean my not being allowed to build up a social side of things? That seems very odd.. Is it that they felt you were spending time trying to get to know the people you worked with rather than working? I know that there is sometimes an attitude whereby "The Temp" is supposed to come in, not talk to anyone, do the work they are there to do, and then go home. I've not seen it often, but it does happen.
Needless to say I will never ever even look at anyone in an office I work in again. I am not gonna be friends, I am not gona try and be friedns, I am not going to fancy anyone.
I will also not care again about anyone for a good while because it doesn't do you any good
I will say this whole thing has made me physically sick, depressed, upset and angry.
I am a little less human then what I was.
I was nice and I now I have a slur on my character for it. The end.
Oh, yes, no overdramatization at all. Yes, maybe you need some bullshit typical oh it will be alright comments, but at the same time you need to realize its not the end of the world. Your life is not over. Get up and move on. Doing that and not taking everything so seriously is what is going to get you thru it.
Not that a reason is really needed to end a temp contract.
I don't think that flirting with work colleagues is a good idea really, especially if you are a guy, it's just too risky. If anything you do/say is misinterpreted and someone is made to feel uncomfortable (not saying this is what happened with you) then things can turn sour pretty quickly. Since food in your mouth and a roof over your head is more important than any date it's wise to keep your professional and personal lives apart.
While i agree with you it can be risky, i believe that a large portion of relationships start within the workplace, as that is where you meet more people, unless your a real party animal and dont have problems chatting someone up i a bar or club. so to say keep professional and personal lives apart isn't always the answer.
I know its not the end of the world but its not the first injustice to happen to me and when they build up it tends to get you a fair bit and you think "whats the point".
I'm not sure what I'm doing about references as the refernce for before this job has disappeared.
I did fancy this woman yes but the email was in no way an indication of that, nor did I suggest anything sexual or suggestive. not even an inuendo. Nothing even close. She didn't have to say anything. I didn't say anything when people in my team made me feel uncomfortable when they demanded I put on my accent and did take offs of my countires accent, which they would never do to anyone else but they did it to me. i get my mouth shut, used discreation, guessed they didn't know any better. I didn't do anything to this woman but by nice, and I mean nice. Nothing even close to haressment or anything like that. She didn't complain when she and her team got some free chocolates either. And this just sudden ending, when my work has been excellent and i just thought I was fitting in. Its a real kick in the bollocks.
now I think about it even more I get madder coz the night in question, one of the big bosses had his hands over her and was chatting her up, t aking a bit of advantage when she was pissed, but nothings said to him. She doesn't complain about him. Least I never touched her when she was pissed up and incapable, unlike him.
On a side note,I have read countless surveys and studies that said over half the people out there meet their partners at work so if you can't flirt a little or even consider someone at yuor work place a potenial persont o get to know and maybe more with, thats a big chunk of your chances gone. I'm just saying.
As you found out, when one woman in the office became unsettled by your behaviour towards her (not that I am suggesting there was anything wrong with it) then others in the office were no longer happy to work with you. Faced with this, it was a no-brainer for the management to get rid of a temp.
Just concentrate on the kind of opportunities I wrote about above rather than pursuing your direct colleagues as potential girlfriends and you should be able to avoid a repeat of this situation in the future.
Best of luck.
The same thing was said to Walkindude some months ago when he was posting on the Leeds University Message boards.
(just joking!)
also, are you friends with subject13 then?
I wouldn't take it too seriously. Check out the member Karma Chameloean or soemthing, he posted nearly the same comment to somebody else from a Leeds thing. Its probably the same no lifer who stalks on the internet.
lipsy- I deleted loads of details lately, which one has my full name?
He posted this to somebody else
It did seem a bit rehersed to be somebody different.
Hiya,
If another user has broken the rules of these boards then please do tell one of us mods and we'll look into it. Obviously, we can't do anything about something that's happened on another board. But if a user harasses any user on this site we will take it seriously.
CB