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mother's understanding

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have a boyfriend and we have been living together for one year.He is very kind and gentle to me. But one unperfected point that he has just a degree with higher education,he knows it so he is studying hard now and aims at higher degree achievement one day.

But my mother is very unsatisfactory with not only his current education degree but our living together before marriage.I have been always communicating with her with much patience every time i call her..but she is very apt to be mad or just hang up my phone when we talk about my bf and i.
I understand her bcz she is a very conventional woman, never allow sex before marriage(actually she hasn't known that we have already sex though she knows we live together in one house)

Nevertheless, how i can get her understanding luckily?I have done more patient communication :crying: :crying: :crying:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    erm you just said he has a higher degree in education, then that he doesnt have one?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no,he hasn't .he is doing self-studying and will get a diploma after passing all compulsory exams about two years later..and my mother never allows our sex and marriage until he gets the diploma after two years...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She won't let you sleep with him until he has a diploma or let you move in with him until your husband and wife?? How old are you? If you adults then there isn't anything she can do about it so she'll have to just put up with it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she'll have to just put up with it.

    Nice put. Your mother isn't in control of your life - you can live it your way. If she is threatening you in some way which restrains your alternatives - call an authority.

    Good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nickle wrote:
    I have a boyfriend and we have been living together for one year. [...]
    But my mother
    As we are discussing what may be a cultural problem, what is your mother's background?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mother is a teacher ,very strict with me when i was child..bcz She knows how inclement the society is , how unreliable the people are...so she want me keep protected from being hurt..but i am an adult , i know what i am doing...but i also know her painstaking and do not want to hurt her, it is very hard for a mother to uprear a child to an adult....
    Should i give up my bf to comfort my mother or constantly communicate and wait until she feel better ??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're old enough to live with someone then you're probably old enough to tell your mother that it's your life and not hers.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nickle wrote:
    My mother is a teacher ,very strict with me when i was child..bcz She knows how inclement the society is , how unreliable the people are...so she want me keep protected from being hurt..but i am an adult , i know what i am doing...but i also know her painstaking and do not want to hurt her, it is very hard for a mother to uprear a child to an adult....
    Should i give up my bf to comfort my mother or constantly communicate and wait until she feel better ??

    I think you and your boyfriend should both speak to your mum on an adult level, tell her your older enough to make your own mistakes and believe it or not people do make mistakes in the big wide world, it's called life and learning from it. Your a big girl and your mum cannot keep you wrapped up in cotton wall for the rest of your life in fear of you getting hurt some way.

    Don't give up your boyfriend, speak to your mum and make her understand.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nickle wrote:
    She knows how inclement the society is
    Which society. You don't type english like a native.
    Should i give up my bf to comfort my mother
    no, you will regret it and come to resent your mother
    or constantly communicate and wait until she feel better ??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so i've got in a dielamma now,

    thanks, pls correct my english if any errors

    to go or not to go----that's a problem
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