You may be asked to reset your password when you try to login. This is part of a system update and is genuine, so it's safe to go ahead and do that. If you no longer have access to the email address you used to register, please email us at [email protected] rather than creating a new account. Apologies for the inconvenience.

So much potential for embarrassment!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Was talking with my colleagues at work today about how manky sex is!! EVERYONE'S got a story about when sex went wrong - people falling out of bed, fanny farting, nosebleeds, crazy orgasm noises....

My friend's boyfriend was going down on her when she farted and he vomited all over her.....

ETA: mine was just after the first time I'd slept with my ex; I heard my mum come home unexpectedly and start coming up the stairs - I leapt out of bed to shut my bedroom door, got my foot caught in the bedclothes and fell flat on my face on the carpet.....

What's your ridiculous sex story?
«1

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Realising too late that the highlight of a holiday for 12 of my friends was the amusement of being able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex. Every day of a two week holiday. Unfortunately I am the noisy one of the two of us. It took a long time before I could look any of them in the eye again :blush:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mate broke her nose on the bedhead having frantic sex with someone while drunk and only really realised when they both woke up the next morning covered with her blood
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    leese - that is sooo funny!!!
    To be honest, ive been quite lucky in this respect - i was always so paranoid of doing something stupid i made sure i was never caught!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My friend's boyfriend was going down on her when she farted and he vomited all over her.....



    What a shame.....Now i would be embarrassed at that!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh my god. Those are some right stories!!

    Nothing so exciting for me I'm afriad.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmm I guess my first potential sex encounter when I was so scared because I was wearing a pantyliner and made the guy shut his eyes so I could take it off! I was so young and naive-you know what though I'm bloody glad it happened like that as it soon put him right off and I didn't end up losing my virginity to a saddo in a very crap way!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I heard a story of a guy who was having sex with a girl in a club toilets and he pulled out and blood was squirting all over the place out of his cock. As he shoved it inside her he ripped his Lacker (The skin that holds the cock to the foreskin) and because he had an erection the blood was just coming out like a hosepipe!

    Another story i have heard was on pancake day when a guy was cooking pancakes and his girlfriend came to give him a blowjob, while she was down on him he flipped the pancake, missed it and it landed on her neck, so she bit down hard and woldnt let go so he knocked her out with the pan, and found his cock bleeding all over the place..

    Blowjob, girl kicks her feet, breaks toe, bites down, guy tries to drive to hospital, gets pulled by police for speeding, police man finds him with a crotch soaked in blood, so drives him to hospital himself!

    Also, spunk in the eye! How girls suffer sometimes eh?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I never believe any "stories I heard" things. omigd, my frnds sisters cousins brthrs grlfrnds sister ws doin hrself w a frzen htdg nd it thwed nd gt stk in her nd she hd 2g2 the hsptl to hve it rmoved ohmigod!!!!

    I once went to kneel over my guy, misaimed and kneeled on his balls. We didn't have sex that night... or for a few nights after that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my_name wrote:
    I once went to kneel over my guy, misaimed and kneeled on his balls. We didn't have sex that night... or for a few nights after that.

    Much as I am sympathetic (of course!), that did make me laugh!

    Oh, and I have had the 'spunk in the eye' thing happen to me... it is rather painful...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was once shagging a lady friend of mine in an locked office during work time when there was a knock on the door.

    Put me right off my stroke...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :yuck: :nervous:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    subject13 wrote:
    Also, spunk in the eye! How girls suffer sometimes eh?
    girls?!??!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Had a girl manage to catch my dick in my trouser fly before. That hurt like hell.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Had a girl manage to catch my dick in my trouser fly before. That hurt like hell.

    i share your pain :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Had a girl manage to catch my dick in my trouser fly before. That hurt like hell.

    Worse than getting kicked in the nuts?

    My sex life hasn't had any noticable funny moments. Just drunken adventures like.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Um, fanny farts. Shagging like rabbits, and slowlllly edging off the bed to a nasty landing on a plug. AHHH the pain. :(

    But, 'part from that s'been sexual.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    Worse than getting kicked in the nuts?
    Yes.
    Having done it to myself a couple of times I don't let anyone else do my zip up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well girls and gay men have the spunk in the eye problem them.

    The story i heard, actually came from the tv show "when sex goes wrong" told bu the person who had it happen to them i think

    One girl on it from Summerset explained how one sunday morning before church her boyfriend was going to do her doggy style and missed....and shoved it straight up her ass! She explained how the pain caused her to miss church that day.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    subject13 wrote:
    One girl on it from Summerset explained how one sunday morning before church her boyfriend was going to do her doggy style and missed....and shoved it straight up her ass! She explained how the pain caused her to miss church that day.
    :lol: Feel the Lord's wrath!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    Worse than getting kicked in the nuts?

    My sex life hasn't had any noticable funny moments. Just drunken adventures like.

    Yes much worse. Also been given friction burns that led to bleeding because some cack handed woman decided to rub far too hard.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    was once having drunken sex and afterwards when we were cuddling i fell off the bed and landed in a drunken heap on the floor..... and on top of a cat. :no:

    was the pussy still sore in the morning?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you from Leeds scarlettleeds?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    \
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I did wonder, I too hail from the land of Leeds...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    by the way it's somerset. unless there's another 1!

    i got cum up my nose once. :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cum up your nose? Did you snort it back or blow it out? lol
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just to clear this up because I have heard of the PM's the handjob thing is in regard to a girl I was dating at 15 called Tina and not in fact an immature side swipe at someone else.

    I do not use these boards to make digs at people and would not put something about somebody where they could read it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    by the way it's somerset. unless there's another 1!

    i got cum up my nose once. :(
    thats happened to me before....feels rather odd:(
  • JsTJsT TheSite Graduate Posts: 18,265 I am one with The Mix
    subject13 wrote:
    I did wonder, I too hail from the land of Leeds...
    omfg so do i/111!"!
Sign In or Register to comment.