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More than words...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
...Is all you have to do to make it real.

You may remember my last post a few months ago about my girlfriend who I'm now with and we love each other. It may help to read this (rather long!) post about some difficulties we ran in to early on in to our relationship:

http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?t=86817&highlight=feel+loved

Anyway, to the point of this topic, let me explain the title. We're now in love, we tell each other all the time. Understandingly I have a lot more time to offer her than she does for me as I work, yet she goes to college and works weekends.

I can only really see her once during the week, and she can stay one night on weekends. Apparantley her mum is a bit 'weird' about her staying out too much she says, which is fair enough as if I had a daughter as precious as my girlfriend, I'd be protective over her. :rolleyes: However, she is going to Uni next year so I don't know how her mum is going to have control then?

However, our time spent together is great, despite the few arguments we have, like any couple, they all originate because we love each other and we always make up pretty quickly and tell each other we'll always love each other regardless of the little arguments we have.

The problem I have is that I don't think I feel loved? I don't want to her to have to be in my face but I'd just to like to think she thinks of me more. I've thought this a few times but never really told her because I feel as though if I tell her, she'll then feel it necessary to change her ways in order to make me feel loved, I don't want her to do that, I want it to be natural.

The reason I've come on this board again is because this weekend she has travelled down south to see her old friends. We saw each other on Thursday night, and she travelled down on Friday. I wanted to talk to her every minute I wasn't with her, but I limited myself to 3 texts during the day to tell her how much I miss her already...and I really do. I didn't get a reply but then again she is out of credit and she's at her friends birthday party!

Today I've not text her, I refrained myself. I've not said a word all day and I'm now really starting to feel a bit upset. Why has she not just borrowed a text off her friend, or pranked me to let me know she's at least thinking of me? I've told her if she ever pranks me for a chat I'll always ring back....But today I've heard nothing. Whenever a friend text's her and she is with me, she always asks to borrow a text from my phone to text them back....howcome she hasn't done that to text me? phone me? I feel like she just doesn't think about me when I'm not there...it hurts. Maybe I'm just being a softie but I love her so much, I could text her telling her I love her all day, but I don't for rational reasons but why has she not attempted to even tell me she is missing me or anything?

What do you guys make of this? What are your loving relationships like? Am I being selfish assuming she should borrow a text/phone call to get intouch with me?

Ultimatley, refering to the title, if she says she loves me, why do I feel as though she's not showing it?

Sorry for the length of the post, any comments would be much appreciated! I feel bad having to ask you guys this.

Cheers

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Probably because she doesn't see her friends that often (i'd gues with going down south) and quite rightly wants to devote her time to them. There doesn't even seem to be a problem here in my opinion. She'll be back soon, problem solved.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's what I thought. Feel like a bit of a prick starting the post now! Thanks for your opinion.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this was a problem with my now ex. i didn't get as seriously into it as you two seem to have, but he says he pretty much fell rather deeply in love with me rather quickly. and he would text me all teh time, 3-4 times a day even if i didn't reply. this kind of got to me and pushed me away, as i wanted to miss him but i'm the sort of person that sometimes if a person texts me all the time i don't miss them at all.

    believe what she says, and maybe keep refraining from texting her. there could be plenty of simple reasons why you've had no reply. mobiles go wrong all the time, etc...

    calm down, she;s your girlfriend for a reason :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the fact that she feels that she doesn't have to text you and call you all the time is probably a good thing. She obviously feels secure enough in your relationship and how you feel about each other not to have to be constantly reassured that you love each other. It's not about how much you say you love each other it's more about how things are when you are together.

    I wouldn't worry!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It seems we're not seeing each other tonight...Wednesday instead. I don't understand.
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