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how to pull an older work colleage
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey , just thought I'd ask fro some advice and see what come sup.
So I have started temping at this place and they are split into small teams. Well there is a team next to mine that has this gorgeous woman working there. Now were not right next to each other, in fact she is behind a wal, I only see her when she gets up or I do and the teams don't mix much if at all. I'm a new guy and just admin so I have no excuse to mix with her team. Anyway she is 27 and has a kid. I am 21 and a temp.
Is it even worth borthing with? I mean she is gonna be like "your too young for me" and since there are people int he dept on £100k a year or £50k a year, its not like a temp on £6 an hour is gonna impress much. Specially with no car and no place of my own. Plus, according to her firne who is in my team, she said to her that I seem to always stare at her and asked my age. So I mean I guess its pointless but if you have any advice then I'd welcome it.
So I have started temping at this place and they are split into small teams. Well there is a team next to mine that has this gorgeous woman working there. Now were not right next to each other, in fact she is behind a wal, I only see her when she gets up or I do and the teams don't mix much if at all. I'm a new guy and just admin so I have no excuse to mix with her team. Anyway she is 27 and has a kid. I am 21 and a temp.
Is it even worth borthing with? I mean she is gonna be like "your too young for me" and since there are people int he dept on £100k a year or £50k a year, its not like a temp on £6 an hour is gonna impress much. Specially with no car and no place of my own. Plus, according to her firne who is in my team, she said to her that I seem to always stare at her and asked my age. So I mean I guess its pointless but if you have any advice then I'd welcome it.
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Plus.. 6 years isn't much really.
I don't have much to add to the above, apart from I'm a 21 year old student going out with a 27 year old who is in fulltime employment, so it can work if you have someting in common etc... I would be worried slightly if he had a child, as I currently consider myself too young to have a family, as it is a big responsiblity. I would try talking to her, even if its something simple as I'm popping to the sandwich shop and I was wondering if I could get you something as you seem to be busy today.
Do you know anything about her? Is she even single?
Sounds like an infatuation to me.
As far as I know she is single, though I did hear summat about he rbeing taken out to dinner by someone.
I know I do worry a bit. Its just I dont wanna give a bad impression. I asked work colleage about it, he used to work with her. He said to get her drunk!!
I think I may try talking to her on monday if I see her. The teams don't mix though really and ewhen they do its only coz they know the person. There is another gorgoeus girl on the floor who seems younger but sits way further away, always leaves early and our team nevcer even speaks to anyone in hers so not much chance there.
You really think 21 isn;t too young for her?
Well that would really depend upon how mature you are, sorry thats does not really answer your question, but its true.
Things are changing a bit for me. I am a shy guy if you don't me but more confident and that when I am with friends.
Last week I gave my number to a girl, and I never ever do that. Well I have done it with online girls and people i hav eknown for ages, but giving my number out in that way I never do. This week I just chatted to a girl on the bus. I never do that ever. I hate it when people sit next to me on the bus an dI never talk randomly to peole but I did and it was good.
I wondered if I was getting more mature. I mean I am not a drunken lout or footie obessed lad so I'd say I'm mature but like or not women are attracted by material things as well in the sense of security and stuff. Knowing or not, they ae encouraged to go fro guys with money and who whave cars and such. I mean its funny coz eople in my team said they wished they still lived at home. I don't wanna live at home but I have to coz I know I couldn't afford to move out. Not until I get a full time job that snot temp pay.
I just don't wnat her to laugh at me or hate me I guess.
In any office I've worked in people talk to each other, even if they're on different teams.
She'll say yes, or she'll say no. Either way you'll be out of your misery.
So many blokes don't get the fact that you don't get if you do't ask. They expect it to come to them by being nice. It don't work like that.
Ladies love confidence.
Most people want security, the reason why women seem to want it more is because more often then not we are still the ones who give up work or reduce our hours when we have children, so we need to know that our child will be provided for. (i know this is not always the case so don't slate me).
No one expects you to be serious all the time, we all like to have a laugh, but its good that you not a drunken lout.
Its just the starting out you know? I don't wanna be laughed at or have her tolerate a convo and then say bad stuff about me behind my back.
I know I have to take the risk. I just wanna get the right start you know?
I'll just see what happens I guess.
Second you just need to actually go and say hi to her. If you can't do that you may as well forget it, it's just an infatuation from afar as it stands.
I'd just like her to see me as a man and not a boy you know?
Well that's down entirely to how you act, it has very little to do with your age.
I mean I know she was joking but its a bit of knock you know?
also, i don't think staring at her all the time is a good idea.
and if shes even interested and things do happen, have you thought about the child and whether you would potentially want to be a daddy to him/her?
I do consider the other girl. Its just its harder to talk to her because of the distance. Its not like nayone in my team talks to anyone in her team. I never run into her, she never walks past my area and when I have walked past and smiled she never see's me.
Don't assume things.
I do try but I just don't get success and it knocks me.
well I'm not sure about the work thing coz figures say that the majority of people meet their partner at work, one of the women in my team at work did and a new guy on the floor met his.
I dont stare at her. She said to that woman I did. Now I try not to look at her at all.
Well, I joked about it I mean no point seriuously thinking about it until something doe shappen? Its not like I am against women with kids. I would be prepared to it, though I never imagined taking some1 else's kid on.
its all pointless really I'm sure.
Sorry, but if you're going to disect "asking someone out for a drink" to death, and keep on making excuses / answers to what people say here, rather than just getting it over and done with, it shows you haven't got the confidence to ask someone something, and so there really is no point.
Sorry.
as for the other girl, i'd be a bit more sneaky. like i'd accidently drop something near her or make an excuse to go over. i duno. thats how i usually do things anyway. but im quite impatient so i usually do some of the chasing.
It would be a bit hard to do the drop thing and quite obvious. I mean, there maybe a drink and work thing the week after thgis one, I might be able to talk to that girl then if she goes.
I wish girtls did some of the chasing more, would make it a hell of a lot easier.
You have youth on your side!! bet those on £100K would give anything to be 21 again :thumb:
What you don't have in youth you have in cars, houses, disposable cash and viagra tablets!!!
After a few little interations here and there you will get a good idea of whether she has any interest, and then you can consider going for it. Watch for her giving little glimpses when she gets up, or changing the route she walks to go past you. Also, by doing things like this you might find that she will actually start talking to you.