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what should you do...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
when you should tell people that should know how your feeling because not telling them is getting you in trouble, but if you do tell them you'll probably get moved somewhere else and you get a whole lot more hassle.

I'm having problems at home but if i say anything there could be more problems..

i really don't know what to do....

Help!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when you should tell people that should know how your feeling because not telling them is getting you in trouble, but if you do tell them you'll probably get moved somewhere else and you get a whole lot more hassle.
    sorry but im struggling to understand this a little, too many 'understands'!

    OK, the way im reading it is that you dont want to tell someone something because:
    • they should know already
    • you think you'll be worse off if you do
    Well, really you've got to choose how important it is for the someone to know and whether you trust them enough.
    Also, think about whether its temporary or not, some things you just gotta drag yourself through.
    Without knowing the problem its kinda hard to say... remember this is all anonymous and we wont blab.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    remember this is all anonymous and we wont blab.

    Just note this is the internet and other people can read it. Although your family coming across this thread has a low chance, be precatious.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    quarfly wrote:
    Just note this is the internet and other people can read it. Although your family coming across this thread has a low chance, be precatious.
    Good point. Really sorry, that was stupid thing to say. Anyway, solutions do need a problem to fit into so we're still kinda in the dark.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well... i'd say that if telling them is going to cause more problems, you need to think about if it's going to be worth it in the long run? will it ultimately improve things after all the problems have settled?

    it's hard to say, not knowing all the details really.. but if it's something you should tell them and it's important then i would tell them. people have a habit of finding things out in the end anyway.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    The way I understand it, it's the common choice between the certainty of something bad and the uncertainty of something better or worse.
    Is the current situation bearable? Then you might be better off not risking worse. But if it isn't bearable, maybe taking the risk would be for the best.

    Whatever you decide, best of luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    either stay silent or say something. :chin: ...
    most of the time imo, it is worth taking the risk and saying something - because at least then things have a chance of changing. if you stay silent - nothing will change.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I know where you are coming from. I found out last summer that my mum was having an affair (not the first one) but I couln't say anything. No one else knew and my mum didnt know that I knew. I desperately wanted to say something to find out what was going on and to stop it all, but if I said something my mum would treat me differently and it would break my mum and stepdad up (the last affair she had was before she met my stepdad) and I would have felt guilty for breaking the family apart. So, till this day no one knows except a few close friends but it has been on my mind and affected me badly wishing that I could say somethign to stop it, but at the same time not being able to. I think I made the right decision though and although something is still going on between my mum and this other guy, at least my family is still together and seem to be happy. There is always going to be a good and a bad side to the decision you make but really think about the consequences before you do anything. Hope it turns out well x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when you should tell people that should know how your feeling because not telling them is getting you in trouble, but if you do tell them you'll probably get moved somewhere else and you get a whole lot more hassle.

    I'm having problems at home but if i say anything there could be more problems..

    i really don't know what to do....

    Help!

    It's pretty hard to help you hera if you dont give more information, i no it must be hard if you got problems at home but it hard for us to help if you dont be percific.
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