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girl pregnant an finished me

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
can any one please give me some advice i have been goin with my girl for 3 months and about 2 weeks ago we found out shes 6 weeks pregnant with my baby everything was going fine til yesterday when she told me her x has been keep on ringing her i told her they can be friends but im not having him ringin her all the time so i said you can choose me or him.now shes took the huff bigstyle saying i can make her choose and tell her what to do so shes finished me and i cant get her back shes saying she dusnt want me knowmore and wants to know what i wana do about the baby if im guna c it or not.shes in a propper lil huff and wont even talk to me about trying 2 get back 2 gether.i need her back so much what can i do?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well if she won't talk to you, there isn't a whole lot you can do.

    This girl needs to wake up and smell the coffee and realise that she is pregnant, and needs to act maturely about the situation.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i was thinking the same shes only 17 ive been tryin me hardest to sort stuff out but shes not havin it.we talked about the baby and were both excited and evrything was goin so well but i dont know what to do 2 get her back
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're girlfriend is in a very, VERY delicate state at the moment. The last thing she needs to be hearing is you threatening to dump her if she doesn't break off communication with someone.

    I'd call her up and explain very calmly that you were under a lot of stress about the baby and said a lot of things you didnt mean. Appologise profusely, even for things that weren't your fault, even if they were blatantly instigated by you. She will be mood, grumpy, aggresive, sad, happy, upset, extatic, excited and bitchy all at once during her first three months, you just have to give her some space.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i didnt threaten her she finished me i even told her that its ok she can speek to him and shes still sacked es she wont speek to me at all???? any ideas what 2 do?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't want to sound unsympathetic, but its your own fault for issuing ultimatums.

    You told her to choose, she chose. Your problem, not hers.

    As for what to do, you let the situation cool down, and then you go back with your tail firmly between your legs. And even then she'd be well within her rights to tell you to go to hell.

    Consider it a lesson in not being a paranoid little boy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so is it ok for her ex to phone her all the time and for her to think its ok?ah trust her but its not right him phonin all the time cos itl just cause trouble for us
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    goodgreef wrote:
    so is it ok for her ex to phone her all the time and for her to think its ok?

    Yes, it is OK for him to ring her, if she wants him to ring.

    Deal with it.

    You have been completely in the wrong, and until you act like it, I don't blame your lass for not wanting you back.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    Yes, it is OK for him to ring her, if she wants him to ring.

    Deal with it.

    You have been completely in the wrong, and until you act like it, I don't blame your lass for not wanting you back.


    Man you're on fire tonight! :shocking:

    Hehehehe

    Unfortunately though, as blunt as Kermit is, he is right. You told her to chose and she chose. Let it cool down, and then its grovel time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm with Eul Grepus and Kermit on this one.

    You're girlfriend is in a very delicate state at the moment. She does not need you threatening to dump her if she doesn't break off communication with her ex.

    Let the whole situation cool down for a few days, then go and speak to her and explain that you were under a lot of stress about the baby and said things you did not mean. Appologise profusely, even for things that weren't your fault. Explain that you are there for her and will support her in what ever way you can.

    Her hormones are going to be all over the place at the moment. So expect mood swings.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Eul Grepus wrote:
    Man you're on fire tonight! :shocking:

    Blunt works best.

    He's in the wrong, and thinks he's right. Until he realises he's wrong his lass won't have owt to do with him, and quite rightly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Little_one wrote:
    I'm with Eul Grepus and Kermit on this one.

    You're girlfriend is in a very delicate state at the moment. She does not need you threatening to dump her if she doesn't break off communication with her ex.

    Let the whole situation cool down for a few days, then go and speak to her and explain that you were under a lot of stress about the baby and said things you did not mean. Appologise profusely, even for things that weren't your fault. Explain that you are there for her and will support her in what ever way you can.

    Her hormones are going to be all over the place at the moment. So expect mood swings.


    My god, am I having a severe case of deja-vu, or are your comments missing acreditations? Maybe I need to get some sort of plagiary board involved...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how long shud i wait?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How long is a piece of string?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Twice as long as it is to the middle.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Twice as long as it is to the middle.

    Was expecting twice as long as half it's length, but yeah, that'll do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry, I did say I agrred with what you said and ended up using bits of your reply and Kermits in my answer, hense the deja-vu.

    I would say at least a couple of days in answer to the piece of string bit, but it all depends on how angery she was/still is. Hormones are very funny things, I don't even understand them at times and I'm a girl. Sorry thats not much help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    am i the only one who thinks this guy might not be the father?
    if you have only been together 3 months and she still contacts her ex, don't be so sure, she chos her friendship with him over you, maybe she isn't sure who the father is.....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pelin wrote:
    am i the only one who thinks this guy might not be the father?
    if you have only been together 3 months and she still contacts her ex, don't be so sure, she chos her friendship with him over you, maybe she isn't sure who the father is.....

    yeah but unless he has any serious reason to think that id stay well clear of saying that, otherwise you might as well say goodbye now!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im quite certain its mine shes not a little slapper and ive been with her most the time i trust her its defintly mine.ive said sorry to her for trying to make her do something she didnt want to and she apologised for getting her own way all the time.but i asked if she wants to talk and she says shes got nothing to say 2 me.i asked her if she cud put the past behind us telt her that i love her and we can make things work. this was last night but she didnt reply and hasnt txt me all day.i dont know what to do but i realy want her back.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pelin wrote:
    am i the only one who thinks this guy might not be the father?
    if you have only been together 3 months and she still contacts her ex, don't be so sure, she chos her friendship with him over you, maybe she isn't sure who the father is.....

    Way to twist the knife. Ouch.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    goodgreef wrote:
    this was last night but she didnt reply and hasnt txt me all day.

    PLEASE tell me you haven't been having these important conversations via 'txt'.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've been TEXTING to save your relationship?

    How old are you, thirteen?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    You've been TEXTING to save your relationship?

    Well it certainly looks like it from what he posted.

    Texting, while it has its incredibly useful moments, must be one of the worst inventions of our time. People hardly know how to communicate anymore!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    You've been TEXTING to save your relationship?

    How old are you, thirteen?

    Ok texting to asker if you could meet up and talk about the current situtation would be fine, if she would not answer your calls. But it really is not a good idea to have the actual conversation via text. Its so impersonal, these thing are always best done face to face even though it will be hard on both f you.

    Writing a letter would have be better, ok so it not talking to her face to face but it shows that you have put a lot of thought and time in to expressing you feelings.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    goodgreef wrote:
    im quite certain its mine shes not a little slapper and ive been with her most the time i trust her its defintly mine.ive said sorry to her for trying to make her do something she didnt want to and she apologised for getting her own way all the time.but i asked if she wants to talk and she says shes got nothing to say 2 me.i asked her if she cud put the past behind us telt her that i love her and we can make things work. this was last night but she didnt reply and hasnt txt me all day.i dont know what to do but i realy want her back.

    Give her TIME for goodness sake
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I don't want to sound unsympathetic, but its your own fault for issuing ultimatums.

    You told her to choose, she chose. Your problem, not hers.

    As for what to do, you let the situation cool down, and then you go back with your tail firmly between your legs. And even then she'd be well within her rights to tell you to go to hell.

    Consider it a lesson in not being a paranoid little boy.

    Was sitting reading through this with g/f... had to sign up to reply - Seriously, dude/dudette wtf?

    So you're saying that if your missus got pregnant and was let's say a wee bit unhappy about it then was on the phone to her ex all the time - you wouldn't be a little bit concerned? Yes, it's always easy to tell someone to do something when you're not the one experiencing it. How many times have we given advice to people knowing its the right thing to do? i.e laying off the talk and pressure during difficult times like arguments.. or just walking away and leaving someone who's hurt you? It's a wee bit different when your head is full of fire and er, I must ask this (probably get banned for outspoken-ness mind you) - DO YOU HAVE A PENIS?

    Bit OTT? not really. I'm male. Hate to break this to you but we're all territorial creatures and as 'mature' as we try to be - I wish the human race would stop trying to evolve past what it bloody well is. When women are involved, we follow our instincts and hearts - we dont think logically and neither do they. Be a bit shit if we were programmed to follow a set of rules wouldn't it?

    Seriously, lay off the guy. My girlfriend is still in touch with her ex - She knows I don't like it but what am I gonna do? The more I hear about him, the angrier I get about him and how she's been treated in the past. Anyway, back to the point..

    She's just gotten pregnant right? But she's gone running back to her ex for emotional support? Yeah, nice one. What a sensible girl. I really wouldn't care if she was fragile - this guy has just been hit by the fact that in 9 months time - he's a dad and if he doesn't stick around - a useless and hated father for the rest of his life. But please... always think of the ovaries.

    Maybe he's NOT in the wrong? If this woman is clinging on to some comfort that her ex can provide that he cant - well, maybe he is better off without her. I can understand why he's shocked though.. guys just helped her create life... something scientists are struggling to do in labs - a god given gift and all he asked was for her to stop thinking of a previous shag - and she's being a twat..

    grah, women annoy me sometimes. Thank god I have a relatively sane one :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Give her TIME for goodness sake

    Did you know female spiders eat the male after sex?

    Hurts dunnit mate?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    snafu- wrote:
    Did you know female spiders eat the male after sex?

    Hurts dunnit mate?

    Yes and what's that got to with this, exactly?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah i have been tryin me hardest txting her but she says shes never goin 2 get back with es a need a plan we on speakin terms now av sent her sum flowers ah dont know what else to do
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know you seem to like texting but when can you please try not to write in 'txt talk' here? It's very hard to understand! And what's with this 'es' word?

    I don't think texting her is a good idea, to be honest. Call her or write her a letter or see her in person, but don't send her texts where your emotions are limited to 160 charactesr at a time!

    I'm not sure you've really told us the full story to be honest. Why is she so resolved not to get back with you? At the end of the day, you can't force her to be with you, as hard as that may be to accept.
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