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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's sometimes harder to deal with the good things, because good things are far more challenging to depressed people.

    If your whole brain and outlook is geared around life being a sack of poo, then life not being a sack of poo really does deeply challenge a lot of deeply-held views about life, the universe and everything. If your whole outlook is that things will go wrong, then the very core of yourself will be seriously challenged by things going well.

    You'll learn to get used to it. But quite often depressed people want happiness, but can't actually cope with it when it happens. It's not a stupid thing to happen, its more common than people ever think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    You'll learn to get used to it. But quite often depressed people want happiness, but can't actually cope with it when it happens. It's not a stupid thing to happen, its more common than people ever think.

    i know this. but you still wanna tell yourself to shut up the moaning and smile because everything's dandy.

    and the sack of poo metaphor made me giggle because i am immature :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :crying: I've completely lost it. There are cuts all over my leg. I want to stop doing it but I really cannot control myself. I can't stop crying.
    I'm trying to think of something useful to say but nothing springs to mind. You've had a really shit weekend though, haven't you?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If your university has a Nightline you really should ring it and talk to someone honey.

    If not, ring the samaritans, just talk to a human voice.

    I'm worried about you pet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think if you really feel that alone you should consider doing what kermit says, or how about going home for a while?? look after yourself x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hows you doing now?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm has anyone been on Citalopram and what is it like, other than making me feel like I want to throw up?

    My doctor changed me to that from Fluoxetine 20mg yesterday. The fluoxetine wasn't helping, and he said that this one helps more with anxiety, but I wanna know if it's any good?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki when i took citolopram (sp?) i found it good, not bad for side effects apart from it made me really sleept. I changed in the end coz it messed my head up a bit, but that was more my fault for not takin it regularly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    citalopram was the only one that did anything for me. i needed to sleep about 18 hours a day and had all manner of crazy dreams, but other than that i settled onto them fine.

    but like we always say, every drug affects people in individual ways. only way is to try them and see.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kaffrin wrote:
    i needed to sleep about 18 hours a day and had all manner of crazy dreams,
    I seem to be doing that anyway, but hey ho.

    I know all drugs are different for everyone, but just want to know the general response :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm has anyone been on Citalopram and what is it like, other than making me feel like I want to throw up?

    My doctor changed me to that from Fluoxetine 20mg yesterday. The fluoxetine wasn't helping, and he said that this one helps more with anxiety, but I wanna know if it's any good?
    I've been on this one but for me it had no affect whatsoever on my mood or depression. The only side effect I got was extremely painful periods.

    But as the others say each drug effects people differently, it could be great for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote:
    I've been on this one but for me it had no affect whatsoever on my mood or depression. The only side effect I got was extremely painful periods.

    But as the others say each drug effects people differently, it could be great for you.
    Painful periods?

    Bollocks :(. I really hope I don't get that, mine are bad enough as it is!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    Painful periods?

    Bollocks :(. I really hope I don't get that, mine are bad enough as it is!
    It's not a very common side effect so fingers-crossed it won't effect you. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gavman wrote:
    :(
    What's up....?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm visiting my parents for 5 days. So I cut alot the day I got here so I could have 5 days of trying to get them to heal so I don't have to face my boyfriend with it. But it was the best feeling I've had in a while... and that makes me sick to realize.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gavman wrote:
    :(

    remember you have my number honey if you need anything <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you didn't care you wouldn't feel down.

    So you do care.

    Now you need to think about what it is you care about, and why you care about it.

    You need to think about what he did for you, and why you need him. I suspect you don't need him per se, you just need someone. talk to human voices.

    The fact he doesn't feel the same will hurt, of course it will, that's normal. It is a rejection of sorts. You'll recover from it in time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    both of you, please don't do anything silly. no matter how hopeless things seem, they can and will get better if you stay around to let them. giving up is not the answer.

    Samaritans: 08457 909090

    call them now, both of you. or email jo@samaritans.org

    they have talked me out of suicide before now. you owe it to yourselves to give it a go.

    please take care girlies xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes I agree with omg hi and would advise you to either call samaritans or another association and talk things through with them. Even talk to your friends and family because they'll be able to help you. The samaritans are absolutely brilliant if you're feeling suicidal.

    Remember though that no matter how bad things at the moment they will get better, but only if you give it time for it to do so. Its a cliche but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and if you have suicidal feelings but have the determination and courage to carry on it can only make you a stronger person afterwards. Please at least talk to someone and let out your feelings... it really does help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote:
    Things really can't get worse though

    Well if that is the case, it means that things can only get better. Which they inevitably will.

    Just stick out the ride, and you'll get where you want to be in the end.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote:
    I won't though, I can't go anywhere, I'm going to be stuck in the same little rut forever

    Is there nothing you can do to change the situation?

    Anyone you can talk to?get help from?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote:
    I won't though, I can't go anywhere, I'm going to be stuck in the same little rut forever

    Well you will be if you have that attitude.

    Think about it for a bit. You won't be, will you? Five years is a long time, let alone fifty.

    Perhaps you need to not have such over-optimistic ambition. You won't be a supermodel, but fuck, none of us will be. So what?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do it too. I don't like it that I do, but I do.

    I don't want to hear that I can talk to someone, because there's honestly not many people that I can talk to. I don't want to hear that it's not that bad, because I know fine well that it's not that bad. But I can't help feeling that it is...

    And there's a big difference between what a person knows and what a person feels.

    The fact is that I'm emotionally unstable. I know that. I can't deal with myself. I don't know what to do with myself when I feel a certain way. I don't know how it happens either. It comes over me all of a sudden; a wave of sadness, a wave of grief, a wave of an intense emotion. I'm not emo. I'm not doing this for attention.

    This has been going on for too long and I'm fed up. I don't want it to happen any more. It's a problem. I want to do something about it. But I don't know what can be done... I've tried and tried... but emotions always get the better of me. Heart over head.

    Anyone have any ideas?
    Bethany.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote:
    Everyone keeps saying to me 'oh but you're still young' but if I'm in a dead in job now with no where to move within the company then I'm still going to be there in however many years.. I've got too many bits of my life all in bits, I can usually cope with the odd thing not going right here or there but I feel like I'm back where I was 6 months ago when I lost my job! :(
    If you can't move within the company, then why not move jobs?

    I know it can't be easy, I lost a huge amount of self-esteem when I lost my job, but don't let the bastards drag you down.

    Just givethings time and whilst you're working in your job, set things up at home for you to look forward to when you come back... For example treat yourself to some yummy smelling bath salts, or some chocolates, or have one day of the week where you go to the cinema.

    Thinking on the basis of rewards like that has helped me a lot in my jobs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    depression

    hi, i've never been to this site before but it looks like a very useful one. My name is jo and i have a slight problem, i myself suffer from very minor manic depression and am finding ways to deal with it, but my friend who i won't name, is the nicest person anyone could ever meet, she is overly kind and generous, but i am so worried about her you would not believe. She is going through a mojorly tough time at the moment and feels as though no1 could help her (as though she is at help) she even says she is worried if whe told someone how she actually feels they will section. Ive tried my hardest to get her help and when she eventually went to the doctors they gave her anti depressants but she had a bad reation and cant take them. She is scared of talking to anyone cos whenever she does its as though shes opening it all up and cant stop crying. her behaviour is becoming irrational (even more so than usual shes a bit of a nut) and shes making choices she is majorly regretting and putting it down o a bit of fun. she has talked of harming herself in the past and hasnt found a right path in life. which is a problem as she is a very self aware person so she gets upset that she will never get it right, nor will she ever feel sane or normal. I know she has to help herself but she doesnt feel as though she has the strength too, she has had a hard life and doesnt know how to deal with the situation. As im not the most stable of people it is difficult for me to suggest what she should do and no1 she has seen (ie doctors about anything) have wanted to help her. does anyone have any suggestions as to how i can help her or what i should get her to do. Its becoming increasingly difficult as she is my best friend and she can be dangerous in the wrong situation, and i am not in a very good mental state personally therefore its affecting me worrying so much and taking part of her burden on my shoulders. I would be so grateful of any suggestions or comments you could pass to me. Thankyou if someones actually took the time to read this big post.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    IWishIWas wrote:
    I do it too. I don't like it that I do, but I do.

    I'm sorry to hear that you do it.

    Firstly, don't feel guilty for being ill.
    I don't want to hear that I can talk to someone, because there's honestly not many people that I can talk to.

    There are, if you are prepared to give them a go.

    I never used to think talking about it would do any good. But then I got so desperate that I talked to the doctor, and then went into therapy for three years. Best thing I ever did.
    I don't want to hear that it's not that bad, because I know fine well that it's not that bad. But I can't help feeling that it is...

    If you need to harm yourself to cope, then it is that bad.

    There wil always be people with bigger sob stories than you, but depression and SH isn't about the length of the sob story. You don't get more depressed the more shit happens, you are depressed and the shit bothers you.

    If you feel bad then it is bad.
    The fact is that I'm emotionally unstable. I know that. I can't deal with myself. I don't know what to do with myself when I feel a certain way. I don't know how it happens either. It comes over me all of a sudden; a wave of sadness, a wave of grief, a wave of an intense emotion.

    I know exactly what you mean, about the suddeness. I won't pretend I feel your pain, but I do know what you mean. Been there, got the t-shirt.

    There are always triggers for your reactions. Reactions need a cause. You just don't know what the cause is; more accurately, you do know what the cause is, you just blot it out. You harm to avoid dealing with the problem.

    This is why talking to someone else works. It helps you to sound ideas off against another human, to see what they think. They don't need to be good friends, just someone you can trust.

    SH is a reaction to deal with pain. To stop SHing, you need to know what you are avoiding. You need to deal with your problems head on; the SH and the depression are symptoms not causes. Work beyond the symptoms and think about what your triggers are.

    For me, my triggers were always when I felt that people slighted me, or would think bad of me. So I slipped when people were horrid to me; I also got depressed when I slipped in the street, or if I got slightly embarrassed. It didn't make sense for a long time, then I worked out what I was doing. The SH was a reaction to the pain, not the cause of the pain.
    I'm not emo. I'm not doing this for attention.

    I know.

    Few do. And even if you do SH for attention, it shows you have issues.
    But I don't know what can be done... I've tried and tried... but emotions always get the better of me. Heart over head.

    You do know what can be done, but you find that option too terrifying to contemplate.

    You don't like where you are, but doing something about moving is too frightening.

    You're going to have to face that fear to move on.

    Hope you're alright chuck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sayhi2jojo wrote:
    I would be so grateful of any suggestions or comments you could pass to me.

    Firstly, the most important thing you can do is be there for your friend. Don't try and save her, don't do anything except listen to her when she comes calling, and be a friend to her. Don't take the responsibility of saving her on, because you can't do that even if you were 100% well- just be there for her.]

    She should try and persevere with the doctors, and try and get help for her issues. Doctors hand out the happy pills as a first resort, but if you keep at them they give you more help.

    If there are issues in her life causing her problems then talking about it is a vital first step. Perhaps suggest to your friend that there are people who will talk and listen, such as the Samaritans. If she doesn't like the phone she could email jo@samaritans.org. Suggest to her that perhaps she should seek some counselling to help her get through whatever is the problem at the minute.

    It's hard being a friend in this situation, because there isn't much you can do. You cannot force her to do anything, you have to let her do it herself. Just make sure she knows you're there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    Firstly, the most important thing you can do is be there for your friend. Don't try and save her, don't do anything except listen to her when she comes calling, and be a friend to her. Don't take the responsibility of saving her on, because you can't do that even if you were 100% well- just be there for her.]

    She should try and persevere with the doctors, and try and get help for her issues. Doctors hand out the happy pills as a first resort, but if you keep at them they give you more help.

    If there are issues in her life causing her problems then talking about it is a vital first step. Perhaps suggest to your friend that there are people who will talk and listen, such as the Samaritans. If she doesn't like the phone she could email jo@samaritans.org. Suggest to her that perhaps she should seek some counselling to help her get through whatever is the problem at the minute.

    It's hard being a friend in this situation, because there isn't much you can do. You cannot force her to do anything, you have to let her do it herself. Just make sure she knows you're there.
    yeah thats what ive been trying to do so far, and she knows imn there but she's doing that age old thing of no1 knows what im going through. And some days like today when i talked to her shes telling herself that shes being stupid and she doesnt have any problems, hence hating herself for getting so miserable, blaming it on events that have just happened, but she was like that before event s come to a head. I know there isnt much i can do and she'll have to do it on her own, but the way shes dealing with it at the moment is gunna make it worse for her in the long run, and itl take longer to get over. thankyou for your advice i appreciate it. Shes completely against the idea of talkiing to anyone right now as she thinks there are too many people with more problewms than her, she changes her mind every day.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't try and convince her to do anything, as that could drive a wedge between you. The hardest thing is to do nothing at all, but that is what you must do.

    In time she'll get better, or she'll realise that she needs to talk to people. Make sure you are there when she does, that's all. Don't pressurise her or the trust will go.
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