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First time, success or not?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok so after much deliberation I decided my doubts wouldnt go away if me and my boyfriend didnt give sex a go as it was what i wanted I just had doubts.

Now he was definately in me, no doubt about it not alot, but the pain christ man, im starting to think adoptions going to be better.

It really did hurt! I covered it up best i could because i knew he would feel awful other wise.

Did anyone else have like really bad pain kinda at the back part of your vagina?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds like he was hitting your cervix which may also cause you pain the next day
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He was on top, I was guiding him and controlling it but I wasnt keen to stop because I kinda wanted to get past that pain barrier.

    I know it was the right thing to do i just need to forget the pain so it dont put me off for a second time round.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it takes sometimes three or four times to stretch a bit, don't be put off, and don't be afraid to tell him to stop, it's your vagina after all .

    it may be you weren't relaxed enough or it maybe that he was hitting your cervix....which hurts like buggery whether its your first time or your hundredth time. tell him to be more gentle with you, there's plenty of time for rougher sex later on when you are more comfortable with it all...if you choose it.

    i'm sure he would rather be gentler with you and have you enjoy it a bit more than have you grinning and bearing it. communication is very important.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    which hurts like buggery


    hahaha, buggery.

    I've never had sex within a relationship before, that will all change this weekend however.

    anyway, my first time was fucking awful! I was sick of still being a virgin, I just needed to get rid of that shitty label and I took up the first offer I got, now I know I shouldn't have because this girl was vile, she didnt seem too bad until it got down to shagging her, a horrible fanny is a nightmare.

    I mean whats wrong with a trim and a wash now and then???

    daft bitch.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Best guy ever. Right there. /\
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it takes sometimes three or four times to stretch a bit, don't be put off, and don't be afraid to tell him to stop, it's your vagina after all .

    it may be you weren't relaxed enough or it maybe that he was hitting your cervix....which hurts like buggery whether its your first time or your hundredth time. tell him to be more gentle with you, there's plenty of time for rougher sex later on when you are more comfortable with it all...if you choose it.

    I may well have not been relaxed enough but trying to help him and tell him how hard or gently to push as well as relaxing at the same time is hard work. I definately do need to relax but relaxing is something I dont do well.

    We did use lube and condoms and it hasnt put me off, I would've done it again on Tuesday, had my period not appeared.

    On the note of condoms, are they 100% effective against pregnancy, even if they dont split? :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the note of condoms, are they 100% effective against pregnancy, even if they dont split? :confused:
    Condoms are never 100% effective, it's quite close though...If it did split and he didn't come, there is still a slight chance of pregnancy, but it's extremely low.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe the fact you are only using condoms is playing on your mind too. try doubling dutching, ie maybe try the pill or the patch as well as condoms.

    just take it slowly and relax and do whatever comes naturally, sex is supposed to be fun, not difficult.

    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am on the pill as well, not initially for contraception but for my periods but now yeah its a case of doubling up to be safe. I dont want to get pregnant thats for sure.

    My boyfriend questioned the other day weather I had enjoyed it or not, and I really did but I guess theres no real way I can show him that I did.

    I defo need to relax more next time I know that.

    does anyone have tips on the best positions to make it pain free?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if i wre in your position once he started id make it clear it wasnt particulary nice and perhaps if you could just have some more foreplay - some guys do like it you know ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to get pain like that I think it depends on what position your doing, and how turned on you are. The more relaxed you are the better, and if it does hurt try another position. Test out different positions and that will help you find one that you are your boyfriend really enjoy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    eventually nearly every position will be painfree :D

    try going on top if you feel comfortable doing so, u can control the pace etc, and it feels really good.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've had sex about 10 times now, and it still hurts at the beginning, is that normal? Cause yeah, I had the exact pain :crying:.. Ow!

    I'm guessing it is, but it's just been on my mind!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have never had pain!!! :D

    it sounds to me you weren't ready, like you had doubts. i dunno. did you talk to your partner before and does he know it hurts? i couldn't quite follow. talk to him and tell him to be gentle. i agree with wheresmyplacebo try more foreplay and really build up to the sex then you'll be much more relaxed and wet and it won't hurt as much.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the note of condoms, are they 100% effective against pregnancy, even if they dont split? :confused:

    If they are rolled on correctly, and the man withdraws properly after sex, then they are almost completely effective.

    They are 98% effective, but AFAIK that include the risk of condom failure. So if the condom doesn't fail or slip off, then you are just about completely safe.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nope, but it was fun trying :blush:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks to all the helpful people that posted.

    Saw my boyfriend this weekend and having read many times through this post I realised for some it hurts for others it dont but it can only get better.

    Initally I was in pain again but after the boundries had been pushed it felt awesome! Absolutely amazing!

    So thanks guys thanks to all you I made sure I focused on being relaxed and not tensing up and when I did, suddenly it all felt great so cheers to the helpful people on this site! You are all great and helped a great deal!
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