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the big O

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
alright, here's the thing, i've been masturbating since I was 12, and have been sexually active since around early to mid June of this year. problem is this: I can't orgasm.

Maybe four times in the six years i've been masturbating i've climaxed, and I can't figure out why. What was I thinking, what was I doing different? I don't know.

I can get CLOSE to climax during sex, but no over the edge. just at the peak and then... wait for it... nothing.

It's driving me nuts, and I'm sure it's making my bf feel real f***ing inadequet. I try my best to reassure him that it isn't him at all, it's me. I don't know why this happens to me. Clit stimulation, g-spot stimulation, I don't concentrate too hard or too little (least I don't think I do), but it doesn't happen. :banghead: any tips or advice on this? and men, how can I help him understand that it isn't him? I mean it's not that he doesn't satisfy me, that's fine. We have sex and the horniness is gone, so I'm satisfied, I just don't ejaculate. He's flat out asked if he's ever made me orgasm. and yeah, he has once, and once again, I don't know what was so effin' different about that time.

I take Effexor & Carbamazepine. Started effexor when I was 15, and have been on and off Carbamazepine my whole life. would that have anything to do with this?

Help.... :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry i have never been able 2 orgasam through sex either, its more common than you think, sorry i can't be much help.
    ~XXX~
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    Dr PirateDr Pirate Posts: 8,303 Legendary Poster
    Masturbating since you were 12? jeez..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when u say ejaculate i get confused. some women do that but not a large proportion of them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think worrying how and why you have had orgasms in the past will not only drive you crazy mentally, but will not help ya much with your current situation.

    Just enjoy the experience of having sex with your partner, and also with ur self-masturbation discoveries. Explore different things, and see what turns you on and off etc. Maybe something you/your partner does may seem like a turn on for you both, but may not make you climax. And something that you wouldn't think would make you climax may be the one thing. So try different things and see how it goes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ummm, I'm not sure if the drugs would affect you. Could ask your doctor??

    Well I'd just relax and try new things, when you find one that does it for you, take note an dtry doing that again. Make sure you have lots of foreplay and oral as most women dont orgasam from penetration. Keep going with the clit and try the g-spot more. Try sex toys as well. Make sure ur well lubed up.

    good luck!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am the guy who would be in your boyfriends shoes. We've both learnt to enjoy what we do together, I do feel bad though that I can't bring her to climax. We've tried and experimented but just can't get the right mix there, I think she has once or twice but that was after a lot of manual stimulation over a long time and left us both shattered, and we both prefer the closeness of being able to cuddle etc.

    As for oral, I have no hope, she says it's 'nice' but its nowhere near as intense as other stuff. *shrugs* I know this doesn't help, just to let you know youre not alone. Although some people it seems can have orgasms on demand, there are a lot who struggle, my girlfriend has never brought herself to orgasm through self-love (not from lack of trying).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your Efexor (Venlafaxine) could be it. Speak to your family doctor about it. Also depends what you take it for.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If either of those drugs are antidepressants, then that could very likely be the cause, as that is actually quite a common side effect of some of them.
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