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Help getting out of the "Friend Zone"

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay. I met this sweet cute girl last Friday at a house party. we really connected that night. We were in deep conversation at the corner while the rest of the people sat in a circle across the room. It mustve been kinda rude.

Anyway in the end she was shy cos she was explaining to me her music and asked if I liked her, so I said yes. I returned the question and she said she liked me cos I was interested in what she thinks. Plus her body language was very very positive. We shared the beer and cigarettes. Stealing looks and smiles. Sat at close proximity.

In the end I walked her home and tried to kiss her but she wouldn’t let me kiss her lips. But I was huggin her and gently kissing her neck, to tickle her, and ears, whispering how cute she was etc. she had her hands against me but she wasn’t really pushing away. And she loved it. I asked for her number but couldn’t cos she didn’t know it but that’s understandable cos shes new here, perhaps. Thinking about it now it might’ve just been an excuse but back then I didn’t suspect nothing.

Next day Saturday, I caught up with her in school and walked her home. It wasn’t good. I gestured her to put her arm around mine and so she did. Though she looked at the ground most of the walk but when I let go of her arm, she made a gesture for the arm again. In the end she said she doesn’t want a boyfriend her and we should be friends etc. But she also said cos we don’t know each other well.

Saturday night, there was a party and in the end she arrived. We made eye contact but I turned away. But I caught her looking at me but turned away. After that she went to the other room. And that was it.

It hurts that she said she only wanna be friends. But her body language was positive. I think I was rushing and she thinks I just wanna fuck her. And maybe someone warned her about me. Though I’m really harmless, honest! Then again I may only interpreting things this way cos I like her and I want her to like me. What does you all think? I plan to just ask her out for coffee once a week so we get to know each other more. and she can see the real me. I hope I run into her in school.

Does anyone have any suggestions how I can raise her interest level? Or to get myself out of the “friend zone”? sorry if its long but I just had to share it. Cheers.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Another thing. How should I ask her out for coffee? Should I say something like "You said you just wanted to be friends. Lets go for a coffee or a drink as friends? I still think you're very interesting and fascinating and I want to get to know you more."??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Take a lighthearted view on things:

    boy meets girl at party...

    Text her and ask to go for coffee. There's no harm is there if you specify "as friends"?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ladder theory.....that shit is bombastic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for that. it was quite enlightening though a bit pessimistic. but since i am narcissistic as well, i see where he may be coming from. this reading raises further questions.

    since women desire more those they cant have, which of the following is better to say to a woman:

    "remember what you said before about being friends. well youre right, we should be friends." then ask her out for coffee. is this better because she may realise that she is losing the guy ie out of the real ladder?

    or

    "remember what you said before about being friends. well we cant. you are too attractive to be just a friend." then ask her to give him a chance to express himself/get to know each other, then ask for the coffee. is this better because its straight forward and shows a more alpha male situation etc? or will this just scare the girl?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd suggest that you are trying to rush it, and that she would actually like to know who you are before she decides if she likes you or not.

    Be non-committal about being friends. Invite her out for coffee or lunch, and see how it is. You can't tell yet, really, as I don't think she knows. She might be interested but scared, or she might really like you just not like that. Take it slowly and see how it goes.

    Of course, make sure you flirt with her a bit, and keep complimenting her. Don't act too much like a friend, or you will become one, and then you will always be one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I'd suggest that you are trying to rush it, and that she would actually like to know who you are before she decides if she likes you or not.

    Be non-committal about being friends. Invite her out for coffee or lunch, and see how it is. You can't tell yet, really, as I don't think she knows. She might be interested but scared, or she might really like you just not like that. Take it slowly and see how it goes.

    Of course, make sure you flirt with her a bit, and keep complimenting her. Don't act too much like a friend, or you will become one, and then you will always be one.

    How does one act like a friend? and not?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't try and be her guardian angel, and don't try and listen to her problems all the time, or that is all you will become.

    Be pleasant, and listen to her. Enjoy conversation, but make sure you keep flirting and especially make sure you compliment her. Lay off the touching, it can (and does) put people off if it is too much.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cool.

    so i should tell her in the beginning that 'shes right and we should be friends' and work my way up from there?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my opinion, you should go for this girl.

    I wouldnt ask a guy if he likes me if i didnt want him to like me.
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