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Some friendship advice please

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I have an online friend who i have known for well over 2 years now. Over the years we got to know each other very well, to know lots about one another, we got to know each othe rlike we would in real life. She means the absolute world to me and i'd do anything for her but recently, going back as far as last month in fact, she has stopped talking to / with me. At first i thought it was just myself that she did not want to talk to and i started taking it personally but eventually because i kept on trying to talk to her online i got a reply in which she said it was everyone she didnt want to talk to and not just me, which at first i thought " well fine ok " but after a while i startied thinking about it and well the thing is part of me feels i don't believe this and that i still think it is just me she doesnt want to talk to.

I want to talk to her and find out how she is and just have her and me back to how we were before but i basically get told to fuck off, which isnt very pleasent, now i know the best advice is probably going to be " just leave her to it and when she wants to talk to you she will " but i don't feel i can leave it, i want to know whats going on and why she doesnt want to talk to me / everyone. I'd say we were very close friends at a point in time but obviously not anymore. I know i should respect that she doesn't want to talk but I'm not the kind of person who can sit back and forget things like this in these kind of situations, i need to know what is going on and why and try to resolve it. Does that make sense?

Is their any other advice anyone can give me because this keeps playing on my mind and like i said she means the world to me i don't want to lose her friendship because it means so much to me.

Listen to me rambling, i'm tired. Thanks for any advice in advance.

Rich :)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you don't want to lose her, i'd say don't pester her.

    if she doesn't want to talk to anyone (lets just assume she's telling the truth) she obviously has some things she needs to work out for herself. if you constantly go against her wishes and try to sort it out for her, you'll probably just piss her off.

    if it were me, i'd email/text/whatever once more, and just put something like: if you need my help, you know where i am. if you just need time, you know where i am. then leave her to it.

    i know that's not what you wanted to hear, but you can't force friendship anymore than you can force a relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Richeh wrote:
    i got a reply in which she said it was everyone she didnt want to talk to and not just me, which at first i thought " well fine ok " but after a while i startied thinking about it and well the thing is part of me feels i don't believe this and that i still think it is just me she doesnt want to talk to.

    Whether you believe it or not is largely irrelevant. It's what she has said, and you need to respect it if you want to progress anywhere.

    Continually pestering the girl to talk to you is only going to make her get more defensive.

    If she wants to resume your friendship, then it will be in her own time and, frankly, there's nothing you can do about it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have a good online friend who ive known for a few years and a few months ago when i was having all sorts of problems i didnt want to talk and got all snappy. He kept pestering me at first and that pushed me further away because it annoyed me. Then eventually he said im here if you need me and left me to it. Eventually i sorted myself out.
    So i agree with everyone else, just let her know you're there and step back.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for the replies Kaffrin, Mist and Ballerina. Your advice makes sense and i know i was going about it the wrong way in pestering her i explained before why i was doing that but i know it was the wrong thing to do so i am just leaving it now and seeing what happens.

    I'm not sure if i should send one more text saying " if you need my help, you know where i am. if you just need time, you know where i am " I'm just afraid i'll get the same reply as last time and make it worse.

    Thank you again for the advice.
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