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Dont know if i should come clean.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello,
I really am in 2 minds about this and its stressing me out big style.I hope you can help me.
Last october my boyfriend and i split up due to him being obsessed with his popularity.I cheated on him [but i did not sleep with the guy v. important to note this] towards the end of our relationship and i found out later that he had cheated on me and subsequently got this lass pregnant,she then went on to miscarry.We didnt talk for a few months then gradually we have started talking again and we are becoming close again.
My dilemma is this...
In february i miscarried a baby i didnt even know i was pregnant with [ i was still having what i thought were periods until december and when i didnt have a period i was told by my doctor this was because of withdrawing from the contraceptive patch it would take a few months for my body to go "back to normal"].My first thought when i started bleeding was that it was my period.However my "period" was very very heavy and i felt as if my sides were splitting with pain.I knew something wasnt right and in the back of my mind i already knew what was happening so i went to a+e immeadiatly.They performed and ultrasound and internal pelvic examination and confirmed i was having a miscarriage.I find it difficult to discuss what happened after that but i was told that although the couldnt determine the exact age of the dead foetus it was "probably" around 16-20 weeks.
Considering i was still with my ex around that time and i didnt sleep with anyone else until december that year it was definatly without a doubt his.
Noone knows about my miscarriage apart from my parents.I never told my ex because we werent on particually good speaking terms and i didnt think he would believe me if i told him.He would probably think it was some ploy to get him to go back out with me or something because yes,his ego really is that big.
However now that we are talking again and getting on really well i feel guilty about not telling him about "our" child that i miscarried.He always said when we were going out that if i became pregnant he would want to be the first to know and if i had an abortion although he would understand,he would also be pretty gutted.
I want to tell him about what happened because i feel he has a right to know.I feek i owe it to him because we were so close and we went out for over a year and a half.But i dont know how he'll react.
Ive not told my current boyfriend because he i think it would freak him out.He despises talking about problems he/i/we may have and therefore there wouldnt be much point in telling him.But i cant seem to get over what happened and i really want someone to confide with about it just to get it all out and begin to heal the wound a little.
I just dont know what to do.
Should i tell him or not?
I really am in 2 minds about this and its stressing me out big style.I hope you can help me.
Last october my boyfriend and i split up due to him being obsessed with his popularity.I cheated on him [but i did not sleep with the guy v. important to note this] towards the end of our relationship and i found out later that he had cheated on me and subsequently got this lass pregnant,she then went on to miscarry.We didnt talk for a few months then gradually we have started talking again and we are becoming close again.
My dilemma is this...
In february i miscarried a baby i didnt even know i was pregnant with [ i was still having what i thought were periods until december and when i didnt have a period i was told by my doctor this was because of withdrawing from the contraceptive patch it would take a few months for my body to go "back to normal"].My first thought when i started bleeding was that it was my period.However my "period" was very very heavy and i felt as if my sides were splitting with pain.I knew something wasnt right and in the back of my mind i already knew what was happening so i went to a+e immeadiatly.They performed and ultrasound and internal pelvic examination and confirmed i was having a miscarriage.I find it difficult to discuss what happened after that but i was told that although the couldnt determine the exact age of the dead foetus it was "probably" around 16-20 weeks.
Considering i was still with my ex around that time and i didnt sleep with anyone else until december that year it was definatly without a doubt his.
Noone knows about my miscarriage apart from my parents.I never told my ex because we werent on particually good speaking terms and i didnt think he would believe me if i told him.He would probably think it was some ploy to get him to go back out with me or something because yes,his ego really is that big.
However now that we are talking again and getting on really well i feel guilty about not telling him about "our" child that i miscarried.He always said when we were going out that if i became pregnant he would want to be the first to know and if i had an abortion although he would understand,he would also be pretty gutted.
I want to tell him about what happened because i feel he has a right to know.I feek i owe it to him because we were so close and we went out for over a year and a half.But i dont know how he'll react.
Ive not told my current boyfriend because he i think it would freak him out.He despises talking about problems he/i/we may have and therefore there wouldnt be much point in telling him.But i cant seem to get over what happened and i really want someone to confide with about it just to get it all out and begin to heal the wound a little.
I just dont know what to do.
Should i tell him or not?
0
Comments
He does have a right to know as you were close to him, and you do need to get it off your chest! However, saying something like this could jeopardise any sort of a friendship as he may react very very wierdly to something like this.
It depends really if you want to jeopardise your friendship in an attempt to open up to him and maybe even strengthen your relationship ?
Sorry..this ones really up to you
Good Luck,
Jez
I would...
It's your decision though