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Playing Hot and Cold?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Iv just got into this er..semi-relationship with a lad. Iv known him for around 5 years and weve always been great friends,only in the last while weve gotten closer. The major problem was hes in one part of the country and im right at the other end more or less, so well we only see eachother once a month or so. Anyway yeah.... Just last week, when we finally got together (after a pixies gig, aw woo romantic!!) everything was great, slept together in a hotel (he paid for..) then spent a few hours looking gooey into each others eyes (urgh yeah....). Because of work and such we had to say goodbye and he went back to his humble abode and i went back to mine.
The whole problem though since then is that one day hes txting me non stop telling me hes never felt like this about a girl before and the next hes just..silent.I try txting him a couple of times when this happens and just get no answer, then the following day he just txts back normally again!!! Im actually too afraid to straight out ask him if hes still interested because id be broken if he isnt.... I just dont know whats going on with him, im completly smitten and he knows that, i thought he was smitten with me too untill he started this nonsense.... Iv been hurt badly before and hes the only one im actually able to talk to about this sorta stuff...so well im stuck!! God men are certainly confuzzling sometimes :eek2: I dont want to seem too needy or pushy or just too clingy but i feel like im being left out in the cold....
Em yeah so does anyone have any ideas? Should i say anything to him or just wait untill he explains himself.....
Hmm iv just read what i typed up there and it looks like im a clingy leech thing!! Im really not!! Its just we used to txt every single day when we were just friends and he always explained after if he didnt reply to a txt or something.....*scratches head*
The whole problem though since then is that one day hes txting me non stop telling me hes never felt like this about a girl before and the next hes just..silent.I try txting him a couple of times when this happens and just get no answer, then the following day he just txts back normally again!!! Im actually too afraid to straight out ask him if hes still interested because id be broken if he isnt.... I just dont know whats going on with him, im completly smitten and he knows that, i thought he was smitten with me too untill he started this nonsense.... Iv been hurt badly before and hes the only one im actually able to talk to about this sorta stuff...so well im stuck!! God men are certainly confuzzling sometimes :eek2: I dont want to seem too needy or pushy or just too clingy but i feel like im being left out in the cold....
Em yeah so does anyone have any ideas? Should i say anything to him or just wait untill he explains himself.....
Hmm iv just read what i typed up there and it looks like im a clingy leech thing!! Im really not!! Its just we used to txt every single day when we were just friends and he always explained after if he didnt reply to a txt or something.....*scratches head*
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Comments
i think you should just not read to much into it, i dont think he's blowing hot and cold intentionally, he's probably just thinking about things too much.
try not to worry
Or maybe he has other things on his mind. Do you speak or mainly text?
I know when i was in this sort of situation, I was unaware of how much to text, and sometimes wondered if the other person was getting..well a bit annoyed with me and my ( maybe what seemed ) clingyness.
I definetely was worried about seeming too clingy, but seeming not interested was also a big problem.
Possibly you could make him aware that you enjoy being contacted by him ( in a non forceful way, basically not saying " Text me all the time " ) you could put it subtelly ( spelling?? ) and maybe say " Your texts really cheer me up, its always good too hear from you " and this will make him more aware of the fact that you like the attention, therefore giving him a more basic idea of how much you wish to be contacted.
Sorry if this sounds a bit confusing..
Good Luck,
Jez
New relationships are hard work!! I always have the fear of losing him as a friend if things dont work out...so i really hope things work.....!
And um Kentish..we mainly text....he works long hours and cant really take time out to ring too often...its works anyway because im awfull on the phone.....long silences are never a good thing....