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Live out or not?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
I need some advice pretty pronto.

I finished my degree and stayed at home for the 3 years.
Now I will be studying for a masters degree. I am in the process of applying.

I just cannot make up my mind.
Do I:

A) Go to a london uni (imperial, ucl, kings etc). Live at home and commute.
B) Go to a uni a bit lower down the so called league tables and live out?

Personally, I'm very shy. The thought of living out and being lonely fills me with dread.
Post edited by JustV on

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Go with your gut.

    If you're not over youe shyness, why force yourself to be something your not? UNLESS you've reached a point in your life where you are genuinely thinking sth along the kines of: "Right enough is enough my shyness is hampering my life in x,yz ways and it has to stop. If this is the case be bold, but also consider is aperiod of intense study (your Masters) a time to put myself under extra pressure and tale a big leap into the unknown away from London family and friends? Think about it.

    If you do however, have a now or never attitude, or want to really come out of your shell once and for all, I suggest you read a book which changed my life. I mean, I'm not shy am I? But believe it or not at 15/16 I was so shy it was paralysing my life until I read these two books: you 'll have to order them in because they were printed way back like 1988 or sth (showing my age - again) Both by Dr Paul Hauck - How to be your own best friend and teh second title: How to stand up for yourself. Really makes you sit up look at yourself and makes you see how with low self esteem you are limiting your life chances and more importantly your sense of self worth. Good Luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd suggest you already know what you want to do, you just want someone to confirm it with you.

    Moving out of the parental home has a lot of benefits. It forces you to be more independent, it forces you to mature a bit IMHO. But if you aren't someone to which sociability comes naturally then it could end up feeling very lonely, and that would seriously hamper your studies.

    Remaining at the family home means you miss out on the night-time activities, and the social bonding that living in accomodation with your peers brings. It is easy to remain in your shell with the parentals still treating you as their child. You probably perceive this to be the safe option, and in many respects it probably is. But by not stretching yourself you will miss out on a lot.

    I think you already know what you want to do. I think you should move out of the family home.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    phishfood wrote:
    Personally, I'm very shy. The thought of living out and being lonely fills me with dread.
    :chin: ... but you are going to have to leave home at some point.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's plenty of unis out of London which are good.

    Can you afford to live out?

    Aren't masters only a year? Would you be living in shared accommodation or get your own flat?

    Personally if I got on with my family I would be at home like a shot.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    PussyKatty wrote:
    Personally if I got on with my family I would be at home like a shot.
    the experience isn't the same though. you miss out on a lot staying at home imo. (although my personal experience is i never really had a choice.) but i think, when you've finished your masters, you've got to go out into the big wide world, taking care of yourself anyway... making new friends... etc etc etc... those are skills you could learn right now. they are certanly the skills you will need in later life. i'm sure you would make friends if you gave it a shot. its just fear holding you back.
    did you have any friends living at home whilst doing your 1st degree? or did the fact you lived at home (despite being shy) make it harder for you?
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