Just broken up with my GF and feel awful

Former Member · July 2005

Hi all,

Im new here but just needed an outlet to vent everything.

I have broken up with my girlfriend of 5 years. We broke up about 5 weeks ago now.

I am lost. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't feel that i can turn to my friends as i don't have any really good friends. I have my mum but she is out in Chile and its hard to talk to them out there.

There is a black hole inside of me. I have lost my team mate. The person i normally turn to is not there. I am so unbelivelby unhappy at the moment and i don't know what to do. I want things back the way they were.

My girlfriend has just finished uni and was moving near to me so we could finally be near each other. She has fallen for this other guy. I haven't spoken to her for weeks now.

Im writing this at 2 am in the mornig cos i can't sleep. I hate my life. I don't want to feel like this any more.

I need help and i don't know who to turn to. This is so unlike me. I am normally a very outgoing confident person. I have a good job in the city. I work hard and to everybody out there i look normal. Is there anybody out there who is going through the same thing and wants to talk about it? I need your help, let me see if i can help you.

Former Member · August 2005

I know it's hard but you have to let her go. A lot easier said than done - as I have done this myself . Believe me when you do you will feel alot better about yourself. If she doesn't want to be with you then she wasn't worth worring about in the first place. Time heals , you will see. I was in a relationship for 9 or so years and he picked a bag of dope instead of me. You will get through it. Remember success is the best revenge. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP !!!!

Former Member · August 2005

jayzg:rl wrote:

I know it's hard but you have to let her go. A lot easier said than done - as I have done this myself . Believe me when you do you will feel alot better about yourself. If she doesn't want to be with you then she wasn't worth worring about in the first place. Time heals , you will see. I was in a relationship for 9 or so years and he picked a bag of dope instead of me. You will get through it. Remember success is the best revenge. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP !!!!

Couldnt have said it better myself

Even in your darkest moments life can throw you the prettiest of things.Dont forget that

Former Member · August 2005

Hi Simon,

I went through similar earlier this year, when my gf, who is also expecting my baby (over due by 8 days now!), told me she didn't want me in her life, and that she didn't really have a reason, it was just the way she felt. I had got involved with her following the break up of my marriage a few months earlier (too soon - that is my point).

From my experience, you need to take some time to look after the person who is no 1 in your life - you! Chill out, go out with your friends, make new ones, start new hobbies/pastimes, or travel, but just have some time to yourself, and enjoy it. I know it hurts now, but I got involved with someone else straight away, and believe me, it is the worst thing you can do. Sitting there worrying about it will only make you feel worse, just try and keep busy!

If you really need someone to talk to, the Samaritans are very useful - 08457 909090(you can e-mail them if you like: jo@samaritans.org). You'll also find everyone on here really supportive, and don't forget your friends - get out there with them and take your mind off it.

Getting over this will take a long time (mine happened in Feb, and I'm only just getting back near to being myself), but the sooner you set the wheels in motion, the sooner you'll get there!

Hope you feel better soon. Keep battling!

Former Member · August 2005

Everything WILL get better. I know that it really doesn't feel like it at the moment, and to be honest, it won't for a while but I have been there too. It's like a sinking feeling. Keep busy, go out with friends and have a laugh. I know it's hard but you have to do it because otherwise you lose your sanity!

Take care of yourself

Former Member · August 2005

Im going through a breakup too. Use your friends for support, do things you felt you were missing out on, take up new stuff. Im even moving into a new flat well away!

Former Member · August 2005

Hey,

I just wanted to say its ok to feel sad at first it really is so dont' feel like your failing or something - just keep yourself buzy and try and think positively about life.

Oh and have a hug

Former Member · August 2005

Hey there. You seem to be in a very similar situation to me - check out my thread. I cant give you any answers because I dont know them myself!
What I will say though is to talk to someone, anyone, just like you are doing now. You will be suprised how friends or even the most random people can give you support and advice that you can actually use.
Chin up. Keep smiling. Stay in touch.

Former Member · August 2005

The start

Everyone says it will get better in time, but thats no good now is it? The honest truth is you are at the start of a dark chapter of your life which will be incredibly hard. Most of the time ur prob be thinking about her and what she is doing. Also u will go through thinking about things you really dont want to think about, you will find ways to convince yourself that it is not happening and u have no evedince. As u find out each bit step by step and find each one comes true u will slightly go over the edge a bit more....untill..... eventually it for some reason just does not matter anymore. You will look at things around you such as friends, life, people much worse off than yourself. Then u will become slightly happy, then as each day passes your thoughts will change more on these things and less on her. You will feel liberated and very good. At that point u may decide the realship was something good to rember and move on, or never want to look back and move on, but whatever, you WILL move on. Not only that but you will move on happy, happy about all the new possiblitles that have opened up, you know, the ones you closed when u swore ur life to her. However right now ur at the start, its gonna be tough so surround yourself with friends and fight throu. Good luck, it will male you so much stronger in the end. :thumb:

Former Member · August 2005

I can so relate to you dude except it was my boyfriend of nearly three years who broke up with me. I'm totally confused about the whole thing. His friend told me it was going to happen first but I didn't believe him and then after munching a load of E's he came into the tent where we were staying and just started to mouth off saying he didn't love me anymore, the sound of my voice p'ed him off and that he didn't know what he saw in me in the first place. Then I did that whole seven stages of grief or whatever stuff phoned my mother in thailand and screamed hysterically down the phone to her whilst he was outside laughing. Later when we'd sobered up and they let me go (they wouldn't let me out of the tent because i was going psychotic and smashing everything) he sat down with me and downsized it to just he fell out of love with me, then i threw myself at him. Which I have to say he obliged to. Then later on he's acting all besty friend with me later, not touching me but saying can we just be on a break and we'll use this time apart to think about things and it will do wonders for our relationship.

The thing is much as i want him back i know even if he really were doing that I couldn't. My parents and family would go spare. They hate the guy. They think he's a no-hoper with no ambition, will always work as a manual labourer and that we're not suited. I'm so miserable, I didn't even see it coming which is amazing. Literally just a couple of hours before he was talking about that he just needed to get a bit more money and then he was going to buy his airticket to come to thailand with me in the next couple of days.

Just broken up with my GF and feel awful

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