Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Dead end relationship

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Im coming up to the 2 year mark with my boyfriend, for a while now I feel things haven't been the same - I rarely want sex, I'm a lot less patient with him, I've started letting my eyes wander (I wouldn't cheat though as I hate cheaters)

There's a guy at work who is totally amazing, he's a perfect gentleman, he's smart and gorgeous and when I see his id coming up on my phone I get butterflies. :blush: I think I'm falling for him and I don't know what to do :no: Only the other night I was fighting with my b/f over something as stupid as him not wanting to meet my friends for a half hour to go to a party...

We've already booked our holiday for the end of august, the guy at work I am beginning to fall for has made it quite clear he wouldn't go near me as long as I have a boyfriend...What to do, to stay together for together's sake? Give me and my b/f another chance or risk it and pursue a relationship with someone I know I'd have a great time with?

I think I just needed to rant or I was going to go kaboom!...anyone who bothers to reply, thank you very much :)

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As far as I can tell, this is a normal part of many relationships, particularly those into the years. Is it love or lust for you with the current boyfriend? If he's worth keeping then don't let him go. I had the same dilemma with my girlfriend when a few others at uni caught my eye but I decided she'd done nothing wrong and I couldn't justify throwing away what is a good relationship for a fling (or less!), I've never told her, but now I love her more than ever and we're very happy.

    Keep the faith.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love my boyfriend, but I don't think I can stand him much longer. There's no passion ( i have tried like a bastard over the last few months) there's no trust -who's that ringing you, who just texted you? is jemma bringin her boyfriends' mates up for you? :mad:

    Even in the beginning I never felt like this with my current b/f. The guy at work is alot closer my age as well. sigh :(
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scytherchick wrote:
    I love my boyfriend, but I don't think I can stand him much longer. There's no passion ( i have tried like a bastard over the last few months) there's no trust -who's that ringing you, who just texted you? is jemma bringin her boyfriends' mates up for you? :mad:

    Even in the beginning I never felt like this with my current b/f. The guy at work is alot closer my age as well. sigh :(

    Same situation. Once I know what to do, I'll let you know. I mean, there's no girl waiting to go out with me, it just comes down to my friends. Yesterday I was so pissed off, I hadn't seen her since friday and texted her saying I missed her, and then she was a bit standoffish, then I said I was going cinema with my friends in the afternoon and she said "I don't get you" and I was confused, then she said she thought I was selfish etc.

    So I felt bad all day, tried to get in contact with her after the cinema, coudln't, paniced, worried all evening to find out that she had gone cinema with her mate ed. (though if she's paranoid of me going out with 2 guys and a girl in the afternoon I should be paranoid of her going out with 1 guy in the evening).

    Seriously couldn't be bohtered to carry it on last night, spoke to her, but she did some quick talking ending up in "i think we just need to spend time together" which wasn't what I was thinking. I don't know.

    Anyway :p this doesn't really help you whatsoever. But please let me know what happens :) because our situations are quite similar.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would say its a normal point for a lot of relationships, and it is, but if you are seriously eyeing up other people and wanting them then there is obvious problems, and you realise this and know this. It's a common thing about 18 months-2 years into a relationship, there comes a crunch where either you split up or you become completely serious and get married (either legally or you consider yourself married without the ceremony) and you move in together, and all the rest of it.

    I think its normal to see other people and occasionally think "what if?", but if it is more than the tiniest fleeting thought then there is something wrong. You probably don't even like this bloke that much, but you like the fact that he's not your boyfriend.

    I suppose you basically need to sit down by yourself and think about what you want to do. And then talk about your decisions with your boyfriend and see how he feels and what you can do together to change it. Maybe he feels the same and maybe its time to call it a day, maybe it isn't, but you need to talk about it.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scytherchick wrote:
    I love my boyfriend, but I don't think I can stand him much longer.

    do you really love him, or are you just used to him?

    sometimes relationships don't work out. it's no one's fault, it just happens. you have to figure out if this is what has happened to you, or if things have just gone a bit stale and can't be perked up.

    ask yourself how you would feel if you and your bloke amicably agreed to part. would you be over the moon, a little sad, but relieved, or devastated. if it's the first or second option, it's probably time to move on.

    the cruellest thing to do, in this situation, would be to let your current relationship drag on and on if your heart is not at all in it.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you all for your replies - I think I'm going to see how our holiday pans out (last year we very nearly split after 2 weeks of each other) and if we are arguing non stop then I'll call it a day. You have all made really valid points and I've taken it on board, guess it's up to me now.
    ShyBoy-I'll let you know what happens (if anything) :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was in a similar situation, in a dead end relationship and very unhappy.. I didn't want to cheat, but i was falling for another guy. I got out of the relationship and pursued a new one with this other man. It didn't last long, but at least it gave me the guts to end something that was making mwe unhappy!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Life is too short and if you are liking this other bloke then end it. Remeber if you dont want probs then leave it at LEAST a month afer u split up with ur current boyfreind before u start dating the other one. If you think he will make come ons dont tell him u have split up with ur ex for that month. It will be hard but you dont getting any easy rides when it comes to relationships. Your current boyfreind will feel bad for a long time but will get over it. Eventually he will respect you for nerver cheating on him while you were together, that also makes you a very strong woman in your own mind, and in our type of lifestyles today. Good luck. Have that think but from what u have said it does sound very much like he is not giving you what u need, i agree with the 18 month to 2 year threat that was posted so think about it. Do you REALLY want to marry this man and spend the rest of your life with him? OR do you want to marry him and in 3 years time become another statistic?
Sign In or Register to comment.