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sex life has disappeared before it's even started

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
OK, so I started having sex a few months ago with my girlfriend (first sexual partner), things never really reached that "have to do it all the time wherever we are" phase, it was hard becuase I was inexperienced and nervous I thought it would just happen more often as we both became more confident and comfortable with each other.

It used to be about twice, maybe three times a week, but now, rather then getting more frequent it seems to be dropping to once a week if I'm lucky. We seem to have gone past that initial excitement stage without even having it.

I have spoken to my g/f about this and told her how frustrated I am that I have to go a week to ten days without sex. Now, I'm not saying that sex should rule our relationship, but there just always seems to be an excuse. My g/f can see that this is a problem for me, but doesn't see it as a probelm herself and is quite unwilling to do anything about it.

Is this something I should just accept or am I justified in feeling a bit miffed that I've missed out on that 'can't keep your hands off each other' stage?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    umm girls aren't like guys, we like sex, but we dont want it 24\7! i mean when your on your period, we tend to want it, but we wont do it! but it kinda seems that you just want sex! i mean, be happy your having it, some girls won't do it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No i understand u! i have the same! Me and bf have been togetha nearly a year and we usd to have it a couple of times a week but nothin great and now its down to nothin!! I dnt understand y! Do u try it on with ya girl to make her feel like wantin it??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why not give her a reason to 'give it up' for you rather than make her feel that you "expect" it? Give her a foot or back massage, kiss and cuddle more, say romantic things to her, do romantic things for her etc .... sex with her is NOT your right ... you need to let her know that she is not just a receptacle for your baby batter ...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea but wen u do that and stil get nothin u just think y?? wot am i doin wrong but wen the answer to that is nothin its hard! U feel like u lose that closeness because isnt that the reason people have sex!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not all gurls don't want sex. Some want it more, each to thier own
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I take it your fairly young (late teens/early adult) and because you have just started experimenting with sex your gonna want it more, i feel the same.

    I have to agree, it is not your right to have sex with her but it is your right to have fun and experiment while your still young. Have a think about it ...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote:
    Why not give her a reason to 'give it up' for you rather than make her feel that you "expect" it? Give her a foot or back massage, kiss and cuddle more, say romantic things to her, do romantic things for her etc .... sex with her is NOT your right ... you need to let her know that she is not just a receptacle for your baby batter ...

    Done, done and done.

    In fact, the other night we spent the night in together. I had been away with work for a few days and had bought her a surprise present back with me, nothing too special, but it was the perfect gift for her. I spent the night kissing and cuddling, I even gave her a massage (at my offering, not her request) because she had a stiff neck. She knows I love her, I tell her all the time, but sometimes it doesn't make a difference.

    I'm never pushy about sex, but I always make sure she knows I want it. But still nothing happens :(

    Like I said, I have spoken to her about this, but she says there isn't a problem.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea but wen u do that and stil get nothin u just think y?? wot am i doin wrong but wen the answer to that is nothin its hard! U feel like u lose that closeness because isnt that the reason people have sex!

    That's exactly how I feel, yes.
    So how have you gone aboput dealing with it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea thats wot i do and feel but i stil dnt get anywere and my bfs 26!! am thinkin off just givin up!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea thats wot i do and feel but i stil dnt get anywere and my bfs 26!! am thinkin off just givin up!

    Do you talk to him?

    That's what gets to me the most. I've been so open and honest about how I feel and done all the right things, but she just seems so uninterested in the fact we don't do it as much as I would like, Her answer is always "things change"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    were you her first aswell?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    were you her first aswell?

    No
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Red jelly i share your pain.I always have to iniate sex and im lucky if we do it twice a week.Not cool when you have a high sex drive like me :(
    Maybe you could approach iniatiing it differently,make it a bit more exciting,different from the usual.I have no suggestions im afraid...do tell me if you get anything to work im pretty darn frustrated...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    take your mate to a romantic place and get them all aroused.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    once u try and try to make them want it, wiv meals or massages and they turn it round u seam to give up hope!! so i just go wiv out! i love him and ok its just sex so wunt leave him coz of it but still i dnt feel as close, or we have that close time!¬
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if my boyfriend took me out for a romantic meal 'cause we'd not been having sex, i'd feel a bit like he was paying me for sex!

    people have different levels of sex drives, be thankful you're getting it once a week! some people might not even get it that much (not me!).
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