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I suck, I screw!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.
As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.
"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.
As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.
"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.
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Comments
pretty random though.
A guy walks in the street and sees someone he hadn't seen for years, looking way too sad. So he walks up to him and asks why. "My wife died" he says. "What! How?"
"Well, last year I won a lot of money in the lottery, so I bought a four-floor house and a new car. My wife was hanging out clothing on the roof to dry, and yesterday she slipped on the water and fell off the side."
"And died?"
"No, she fell on the 4th floor's tent. But you remember my wife, not the lightest of women... The tent ripped in two and she fell again."
"And died?"
"No, she grabbed hold of the 3rd floor's railing. But it was rusted I hadn't replaced it when I bought the house, so it broke and she feel again."
"And died?"
"No, she grabbed hold of the outside part of the AC we'd installed on the 2nd floor. But apparently the worker hadn't screwed it tightly, so it fell and she with it."
"And died?"
"No! She fell on my car, which was parked just below. So I grabbed my shotgun, shouted 'I'm not going to let you destroy everything I just bought!' and shot her clean in the head."