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Nine years and bust

This is a bit of a mixed question. It's the fact that I haven't gone out with anyone since the summer of 1996, but also because of my lack of friend-making ability.

1. Is there a web site or resource that lists the sex ratio and population of towns in the UK? I studied my degree at Stafford campus and carried on living/working in Stafford afterwards. The uni had a sex ratio of 6:1 which is o.k. if you're male and gay. No points for me there, being hetro!

2. Not only my uni was male-dominated, but my workplace too, being 22:5 male:female. I also live in a shared house with male people. My degree subject and job genre didn't help here but I'm sure there is the luck of the draw too. It's certain that there are lots of engineering and technology students on this board. Are there any case studies. Have people coped being confined to the same gender for a lot of time?

3. I do get out as much as possible. Wednesday night is the local Salsa class which I attend. It's the only time of the week where I do meet roughly the same number of females as male people. I also go on works nights with colleagues about once every six weeks. On Friday, we wound up at Chicago Rock Cafe which is a light night bar and disco. In the last 10 minutes of the night, the DJ played this song that had the same persuasion as Shaggy Boombastic or R Kelly Bump n Grind - very sexy stuff. I got on the dancefloor and this girl was watching me dance for a good five minutes. On the next song (still sexy style), the girl joined me but within seconds, she said "whoa, not too close!". She was fine about it though and we did Salsa dancing, which is a very imtimate style anyway.

My problem here is that my eyesight even with a minus 30 lens can only read the first three rows in that famous letters chart. I have tunnel vision and vision only in one eye. Obviously I'm not one for reading emotions, or in this case, any signals given by the girl I danced with.

In this position, I don't have a prayer. Is there any advice for bad-sighted people for interpreting people? Also, my IQ is normal in a work sense (I got 9 A-C GCSEs, 4 A-levels and a degree), but my level of language is very low. My IQ is around 100. You may be reading this and think "oh your English isn't too bad".. at least I don't spell it is as "its" rather than "it's". But my spoken English is way out. I'm not a very fast person, so I have difficulty in keeping up with conversations (I'm quite deaf too).

This must explain my situation with friend-making.

What's the score with other people on this board with hearing and eyesight problems?
Beep boop. I'm a bot.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry if this doesnt help, but maybe you could try to take up more hobbies that arent in a busy club/pub, the salsa dancing does sound very good!! Any part time courses you could do at a local college - often a good way of meeting people of all sexes+you'de probably find it easier to talk!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Sugar Mouse. Thanks for the suggestion, I'm all for more nightclasses. I seriously considered taking Tai Chi (the non-combat form) back in September 2004. Having been September already though, I completely missed the boat. The class was fully booked for that term. That was at Stafford College. I'll grab their 2005 prospectus and give it another shot this year, but do it earlier to avoid disappointment.

    I forgot to mention dating in my above post. Although I've considered it, my mum is pretty much against the idea on the grounds of how geniune my potential date is. We discussed this almost 5 years ago (late 2000) and it would probably still be against her will now. I do quite like the idea of it, but again, I'm fairly unsure.

    The social groups that the RNID (deaf) and RNIB (blind) holds were good bets for larger places. Stafford doesn't have such groups. I did attend an RNID group in Bristol (when I was there on placement) but they all used sign language. My eyesight is too bad to learn sign language and lip reading, so the therapists gave up on my me at an early age.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just checking... no others on the board with sensory impairment?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I kinda posted a similar topic a couple of days back...The irony is the similarity, for example i started doing salsa dancing towards the end of last term at uni. Bieng proactive in your approach helps. For some people it is harder than others, Sadly life isn't fair like that, if you are perceived to have a disability of some sorts it makes it even more challenging. But with a positive attitude and a little luck (rememer negativity isn't attractive), I am sure the situation can change. What about undertaking some sort of sporting activity to get in good shape...? I know the next point is slightly vain but it may help...Go shopping with a female friend or someone with some fashion advice and get some cool clothes. As this might help lift your confidence and aesthetically making you more appealing for initial contact. That is what I have done anyway.....Not sure that I am the best person to give you advice, but I bid you good luck! :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, my eyesight isnt the best, but why should this affect it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    quarfly wrote:
    well, my eyesight isnt the best, but why should this affect it?
    If his eyesight is poor enough to be unable to lip read or read sign language, then its a bit more serious than "not the best", I would imagine.

    You said that Stafford didn't have RNIB or RNIB groups, do they have a local equivalent that would be a similar kind of thing? Sorry I can't be more help, I don't have much experience of the matter.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    monserrat, i really feel for you, but dont know what to suggest. is there nothing doctors or opticians can do for your conditions???
    Stafford's suggestion is good, once you have abit more confidence, you soon may forget abit about your difficulties (which by the way, i think you're dealing with brilliantly by going to classes, etc)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi STAFFORD. As in the name of the town, I do live in Stafford too! I think that I read your profile somewhere that you're studying at Staffs uni at the Stafford campus. As you'll discover quicker than quicksand, it is rather male over there!

    MoonArcanum - Yes, my eyesight only reaches the 3rd line in the letter chart. The one that looks like this:

    eyechart.gif

    I couldn't find a better picture, but in fact, my eyesight does perceive that bluriness. So in that picture, I would only read A - HZ - DSC. You need to read line 5 to drive legally and you need to read line 7 to have 20/20 vision.

    I did check out the local blind, but their social club runs every 3rd Thursday and in the daytime only. I work a 42-hour week, so day isn't good. I did take a couple of hours off work once to check out the place, and again, I was the only sub-60 person there!

    I have enrolled on the Face Party, which gets mentioned a lot here on TheSite. My photograph has now been authorised. Do you have any feedback on how genuine the site is and how people has got on there?

    My Face Party profile is here. I might put it in my sig in the end.

    P.S. Sugar Mouse - I've just seen your latest post. Thanks for that!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Faceparty has helped me meet several weirdos and only one genuine person. I've had dates with several people from Faceparty and found it's generally used by people looking for sex.

    I've stopped even logging on to my profile now because I found that a patient from work kept looking at my profile and even tried to talk to me about it at work (but not in a nice way).

    I wish I could offer you some advice. From what I can see you are a very genuine man; thoughtful and intelligent. I would just suggest you plough on and don't let any disappointments put you off. There is someone out there for you and I think most women would be lucky to have you. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How old are you Monserrat? i'll go check your profile in a mo but anyway... must be about nineteen early twenties?

    My 14 year old brother has nystagmus, which is an eye condition. he finds social situations hard, but has found his footing within his school and outside of it. however there is an immense lack of social activites in between kiddy stuff and old peoples.

    did you inquire more into other activities that the local blind group does? i've only had experience working at my local blind group, but I'm sure that your local one must have at least had enquiries from youths the same age as yourself even if they're not attending that singular social club.

    if there's anything else i can help you with, feel free to ask.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi

    My eyesight is pretty good (only wear glasses for reading and then its to stop eye strain). I have a moderate to severe hearing loss and wear two hearing aids, without them I'm pretty much deaf as a post. I've recently got digital hearing aids which has made life easier but I understand the frustrations of having a sensory impairment, I avoid pubs, clubs and other noisy places because I can't hear in them and I hate using the telephone to talk to someone I don't know because I don't know their voice and accent.

    Phoenix
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