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is checking his emails and texts wrong?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Ok - i've been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 7 months and I absolutely love him to bits. The thing is the last month or so i've become really paranoid about everything and i'm driving myself crazy. He has lots of close friends that are girls but i have never really had a problem with this. However recently everytime he mentions one i feel really jealous. I don't know whether i'm just going through a patch of low self esteem.

Anyway, I trust him with all my heart and don't know why i keep doing this but i keep checking his emails and texts. Of course there's always things from his other girlly friends but never anything i should be worried about BUT STILL i check! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!! Its as if i'm waiting for there to be something there.

I know that i just need to stop the silliness but i just find myself checking :banghead: have any of you got jealous and suspicious of your bf/gfs and am i just going through some kinda paranoia stage. I DON'T LIKE IT AND I WANT IT TO STOP!!! I've always prided myseld on being the girlfriend who doesn't mind him having close girl friends but maybe i do have a problem with it! AHHHHHHH! its driving me insane!! :crazyeyes

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    YES.

    You need to stop it.

    You obviously DON'T trust him with all your heart as you say, or you wouldn't do it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does he mind?

    If you know his e-mail passwords and have access to his phone then it sounds like he doesn't mind oyu looking at them in which case don't worry, as long as you're doing it with his consent.

    I would have no problem with my g/f checking my texts and e-mails if she wanted, I have nothing to hide, and we share everything anyway.

    If you're doing it behind his back then that's wrong obviously.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel007 wrote:
    YES.

    You need to stop it.

    You obviously DON'T trust him with all your heart as you say, or you wouldn't do it.

    totally agree with this.

    you know yourself that this will only be destructive in the long run. done it so many times myself but you have to learn to bite your toungue and control it if you cant stop it.

    talk to him.

    and yeah, i would be angry if someone read my emails and texts. they're private and although i have nothing to hide, writing...epecially textx can be badly misinterpreted.

    good luck, be strong, go with your gut feeling too, theyre usually right! if not, trust him, but 100% not 99.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it depends really. if youre desperatly trying to catch him out when you have no REAL reason for suspecting him of foul play, then yeah, spying on him is wrong.
    If you really think hes up to something, then i think a sneaky peek is probably forgiveable if the ends justify the means, but you have to know that there will be an end to it.
    If you think youre going to have to check up on someone forever, then whats the point - seriously. you cant live in a relationship with no trust.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    YEs
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ye you must stop- I ahve plenty of female friends also and would flirt harmlessly with them the odd time,
    if you were to read something like that your paranoia would take over something you believed it harmless. Then your left with do you face him with act youve been lookin through his stuff or ignore the fact he could be cheating? No good will come of this.

    happens us all when we really fall for someone- but you need get over it or it will destroy yous!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you look around like that it's only a matter of time till you find something that'll make you paranoid because you misinterpreted something :/
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would suggest, if he's told you his password, he has nothing to hide.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My gf has access to my email if she wants to, she knows my password and my fone is always as close to me as it is to her when we're together so....she can check if she wants.
    But still, if she did it without asking it would wind me up. Its a privacy thing....i dont have anything to hide, but its as if your being suspected of something if your not asked and thats just insulting.
    Just think if he was doing the same thing to you, itd piss you off and upset you.
    So stop.

    Peace
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh the wrongnesssss!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is no better than opening his post IMHO.

    If you cannot trust him then you have no place in a relationship with him. Simple as.
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