Young Carers of The Mix, we need you! Tell us about your experiences of our services and give yourself a chance to win £50 of Amazon vouchers.
Want to tell us about your experiences using The Mix and be in with a chance of winning a £200 Amazon Voucher? Click here to go to our survey!

Teenage Pregnancy-----What to DO????

13»

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JessP wrote:
    if it wasn't my falt then why didn't anyone stop it?
    i know where you're coming from... but thats a question i cannot answer.
    but, you were not to blame in any way for what he did to you... and you really need to believe that. *hugs.*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    they didn't want the hassle! my mum got back with him after when i was about 12 and then he stole some drugs of her so she chucked him out! but they were gunna get married and everything! :nervous: i would of hated it, but what my mum wants my mum gets!
    Jess XxX
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's up to you, I won't push anything. But there are always people who you can talk to who won't judge you if you need it. Especially lots of people on here.

    Born Slippy - I've seen about 5000 women who have come to us for abortions so far. The majority of whom are absolutely sure it's what they want and although it's sad for them at the time, they get on with their lives. Theatre refuses to operate on women if they're too ambivalent. Then again, being the ahem feminist you are, women feeling fine after a TOP wouldn't be the done thing now would it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Theres things I really want to say but shouldnt as its not what you need right now, so Im going to bow out for a while.
    Good luck with telling your mum. I hope shes more supportive to you than it sounds like she has been up to now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    otter wrote:
    i know where you're coming from... but thats a question i cannot answer.
    but, you were not to blame in any way for what he did to you... and you really need to believe that. *hugs.*


    so you don't think i'm a slag?? :blush:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JessP wrote:
    so you don't think i'm a slag?? :blush:
    :no: not at all from what you've said.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Theres things I really want to say but shouldnt as its not what you need right now, so Im going to bow out for a while.
    Good luck with telling your mum. I hope shes more supportive to you than it sounds like she has been up to now.


    i know what you mean! lol!

    Thank you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    otter wrote:
    :no: not at all from what you've said.

    i mean it can't help being pregnant! i know tha makes people think slag! i thought i was infertile, i think i already said! i just feel like when i meet someone they know, like they give me dirty look! i feel like i belong in the dirt!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JessP wrote:
    so you don't think i'm a slag?? :blush:

    No one would! You'd be abused, you're a victim...not a slag. You did not warrant this, deserve it or in anyway provoke it. You have to understand that there are an abundance of...fucked up individuals in this world and sadly you encountered one. In an abusive situation like yours, though you question if you didn't deserve it, why didn't you stop it - you must have been scared, confused - someone you trusted was abusing you physically, taking advantage of his position in your family, as your mothers bf - he abused your and your mothers trust. He disrespected you - but you're here now, you're pulling through. You're far from being a 'slag' in anyones eyes, I promise you :)

    Malt x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JessP wrote:
    i know tha makes people think slag!
    then fuck their tiny closed minds. ignore the looks... you don't want to be around ppl like that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    see you tommorow and wish me luck! XxX

    :blush: thank you sooooooo much! i never really told anyone any of this! even that i'm pregnant! i'm going to tell my mum tommorow and then i'll come on to the same thread! i hope someone will be here to talk to!?!

    JessXxX ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    glad it helped you to talk. and good luck telling your mum. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ,
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    born slippy, it may have been advice, but it was presented in such a way that you were telling her what (you think) is right, and wrong. like otter said, this forum is not the place for ethics, you opinions in the future should be written so as to be constructive, rather than a blantent and crude attempt to get people to see things your way...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whooooooooah everyone - calm down!

    I really don't want to have to close this thread because two people here really need GOOD advice. Bornslippy - you're seriously close to the mark here. The others have expained brilliantly why your comments have not been helpful - they are far too one-sided and dictatorial. It is fine to have a strong opinion one way or another but to tell someone they have to do it a certain way most certainly isn't. Added to that, your unecessarily nasty and hurful comments were a step too far. Continue with this behaviour and I'll have to ban you.

    Now please, everyone. get back to the point of providing useful help.

    I'll try and get the ball rolling...

    Kittenk89 - it sounds like you've been through an awful lot in the last few years. I'm keen to know if you've got anyone to talk to about all this - or have been offered any counselling? It's a difficult decision deciding to keep an unplanned baby - and a very personal one, and for some that go on to keep their babies it can be incredibly fulfilling. But yes, you will have to give up some of your freedom. These are all things you can talk through with your GP before making your decision.

    Also, take a read of these:

    I'm pregnant - what now?

    Should I have a baby?

    Abortion

    Jess, it sounds like you are sure that you want your baby - you need all the help and support you can get, so the sooner you tell your mum the better. Remember that she is the closest person in your life that can help you as she has done the job herself!

    Take care you both
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Replicant, kittenk89, back on topic:

    I know many young women who have had an abortion and they all regret it. Many are so traumatised by the process they never recover. These boards are for offering advice, kittenk89 asked for it and I offered it.

    PS malteser monkay, your a fuckin ugly cunt.

    I don't know you, and I really don't like you mate.

    I also know many people who have had abortions, some regret it, although the majority knew they did it for the best and so don't.

    Personal insults are not needed and she is NOT an ugly cunt. Quite cute actually. I'm sure you're an oil painting yourself, or course.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive just skimmed through this really quickly, so im probably missing things here, but anyway.

    Kitten - At the end of the day its YOUR decision what you do, its your decision wether you keep the baby or not, no one can pressurise you into what you do.
    Council houses etc are avaliable, but you'd be on the waiting list for a long time, and you only move up slightly when you're 20weeks pregnant to a higher priority. Someone else might be able to advise you on that as i only know from speaking to a friend.
    You can get lots of suppourt if you choose to have the baby, but you are also giving up your life.
    Im 16, and im currently 28weeks pregnant. I chose to keep my baby for my own reasons, and didnt let anyone else try to tell me what to do. Luckily im fortunate to have a very supporting family, and i can carry on and do my alevels part time etc.
    Good luck with whatever your decision is, and make sure it is your decision and no one elses.

    ETA: Your parents might react better than you think. I was so scared to tell my mum, i waited until i was 25weeks to tell her! i just kept putting it off&off, i only told her because she kept asking questions and my bump was getting hard to hide. Now its all out in the open, everyone is fine, and everyone in my family is supporting me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JessP wrote:
    Hay, im 15 and 5 weeks pregnant! i still have to tell my mum and i'm really scared! BUT.... there is no way i'm giving up my child! this is a life your talking about not just a piece of flesh! if you relly don't want your baby then have him/her adopted! Did you know that when you have a termination that your child can feel it?? they feel pain! This decision is up to you but PLEASE look at other ways, terminations are horrible and they should be ilegal!

    Jess XxX


    first of all , congratulations! second of all, im not quite sure the fetus can feel the pain because that all has to do with a complex nervous system it probably wouldnt have developed by 5 weeks. also, while i know because of my mental and emotional self i could never have an abortion, illegalizing it would be wrong, women deserve the right to choose and if it were made illegal many women would be dying from illegal unsanitary abortions.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks

    I want to say thanks :hyper: for all your opinions and support especially those whom ended up sticking up for me when this turned into a debate. :eek2:

    Im definatly keeping the baby now and me and my boyfriend will probably live with someone in his family. :blush:
    As for telling my mum im not sure on how yet :eek: , but im coing to wait for my GCSEs to finish, a baby may not be a good idea but i cant get rid of it all i can say is no-matter what, i'l love this baby and care for it as best i can. :love:

    Keep posting and I'll let you no what happens. :wave:

    Kitten
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    as thats your decision, congratulations! let us know how it goes when u tell your mum...you know where we are if you need to talk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Congratulations, and i think your very brave for keeping the baby :yes:

    Pm me if you ever want to chat about stuff (or baby stuff) :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    girls have had babys younger and still managed a carreer theres lots of help out there for u. the council will put u in the 1st house that comes up for u if u hav no ware 2 go. theres special groups for young mums to help with alsorts. its not the end of the world just a change in ur life. every1 will support any decision u make. im 20 am preg with my 2nd unplanned child (i did book an abortion but chose to keep) pm me if u like!? :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Answer

    I thought you'd all want to no it dosnt matter what decision i made now
    because i lost her ,i had a miscarriage, i didnt tell my mum and i dont see the point now.
    The only problem is im now really depressed :crying: but i suppose thats expected if you want to talk or ask me any questions post or pm me, i will answer.

    Thanks for everything you really did help me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to hear you miscarried hon.

    Even if you can't talk to your mum, there are lots of places you can go to for support with people who have been through it.

    The miscarriage association

    Babyloss

    and

    Thesites page on miscarriage which has the same links that I put.

    Rest up, and take care x x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heya

    Iv got a new thread too

    Miscarriage----How to cope

    plz post if you can help
Sign In or Register to comment.