If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Essential support for under 25s
Essential support for under 25s
Take a look around and enjoy reading the discussions. If you'd like to join in, it's really easy to register and then you'll be able to post. If you'd like to learn what this place is all about, head here.
Comments
I said this recently to a group and got told i was patronising and looking down on people.
Apart from the bit about the parents have more time i agree with what you've said. I never saw my dad that much when he was a businessman and to be honest neither of them could help that much when they tried as the lessons had changed so much since they had left school that what wasn't basic common sense they couldn't do as they'd never been taught it.
It prevents the parent from going out and working though. It takes up a persons full time.
What difference does it make anyway?
I know someone who has employed a couple of women who have come back to the workforce after a long time raising kids, he says they are excellent multi-taskers.
Generally very little, though it depends to what extremes people like to take their belief that looking after their own kids is a job.
Well what would you say it was then? It certainly sounds like one tell of a task to me if it isnt a job.
Good point. Part of my job is helping people write CV's after a long time out of work, having been a parent means you will have had to learn lots of skills, such as budgeting, multi-tasking, caring etc. Often these can put on a CV.
What you mean is you can't afford to do what I've done, so you think everyone should stay at pond life level. Never mind Blagsta only another 35 years work, then you too can retire. Enjoy.
What exactly did you do then, to get all your money, Dubversion? What makes you better?
How does anyone get the money to buy their own home outright unless theyve inherited it or won the lottery?
I don't think, I know.
You seem to think that because you claim to help the disadvantaged that that gives you some sort of moral high ground.
One way of getting the money to buy a house is to work long hard hours and graft, a concept that many can't grasp and expect everything to be handed to them on a plate.
I don't give a fuck whatever weird fantasy you have going on about how you want your life to be. Tell it to your therapist.
Eh? Have I ever claimed that I'm better than anyone else? You on the other hand seem to be claiming the high ground because you have some money. As I said - tell it to your therapist, I don't give a fuck.
You're a fucking plank.
My Girlfriend and I are planning to start saving to buy a house next year. We reckon we need to save 14,000 (for deposit, solicitor fees and essential things for living like sofa, kitchen etc). We are both finishing Uni and if we get jobs which pay over 15,000 a year we can save £500 a month to get the amount between us in roughly a year. However we won’t have much to spend in the year because of it.
So I ask you how the fuck can you afford to buy a house without a mortgage it will take years of saving and not living because you are saving to buy a house?
Have to agree with Blagsta and say that you are a fucking plank. So stop being a troll and trying to get a reaction of people it’s not big and not clever and it’s quite pathetic
For example in my own home town house prices are rising and are now on average £191, 280 for detached, £125, 540 Semi detached and so on...
Source for this claim
The majority of jobs going don't pay all that well and there're hardly any prospects here for people leaving university unless you're in medicine. There is poverty in my town... There's a divide of people whether you're from Marford or Plas Madoc, there's also the largest council estate in Wales which was home to race riots and now has a bad name...
So you tell me, if you were an employer and had two people to interview, both with the same qualifications and experience (for a pretty neat job) who would you choose? Somebody from a deprived council estate that has drugs problems? Or somebody from a well bred middle class area?
The problem is that the class divide still makes it more difficult for a working class person to buy a house ... So yeah, I don't think it's easy at all and I think a lot of people try, but get nowhere.
So what is it, a mildly diverting hobby that whiles away those long summer hours? I expect you're one of those men who sits there thinking that wifey must just doss about all day when she stays at home with the kids.
And please explain to me why stating that parenting is "[the equivalent to] a full time job" politically correct crap? Do you even know what "politically correct" means?
By the way, the terms "employment" and "job" are not synonyms. I refer you to the dictionary:
I'd reckon that parenting is a job then, though it is not "employment" as there is no literal payment involved.
Quite so, On the halfwit idea of what a job is presented, people who do stuff for charity and so on aren't working. :eek2:
How old is he ? When did he buy his house ?
Its only recently that in my area house prices have shot up, go back about 7 years and you could buy a house for 20 grand (albeit not in the best estate like).
I could sell my house today then go out and buy another house straight away. Yes id be moving to a dump but I could afford to pay the mortgage off with what I would make on this house.
And did he start off with the same opertunites as the 'pondlife' he refers to?
His attitude is poor. What good does it do to isolate those who believe they have fuck all opertunities anyway - none!
Somewhere along the line it seems the original debate got lost and a cat fight erupted between several members......
I do think the mother should accept some responsibility....
I do agree that social status (ie where you live, go to school and how much money your family has) contributes to your successes in life and what you can achieve
BUT
Only to a certain extent! There are loads of kids from dodgy backgrounds and rough areas and who go to a crap school, who take a good look around them and decide "I want more than this". As hard as it for them,they pull themselves up, they do the best they can at school, even if the school is bad and they do it.
They might not become doctors or highly educated professors, but if they end up in a job they can enjoy with a wage, and can provide for themselves and any family they might have, then surely this is a step up from what they could have been - living on benefits, in a council house on the worst estate, not being able to provide for their kids?
You can blame backgrounds and money and poor areas and ignorance for the way these kids turn out, but what about the 15 year old from decent, hardworking parents with good morals who got killed from drug abuse? What about the 17 year old from middle class parents who went joyriding and died? All the kids from families who strived only to give their children the best, where did they go wrong?? Can you blame their background and their school and parents? Or the individual themselves for making a bad decision?
And as for parenting being a "job"....... Its is a full time job, job meaning something that must be done. Look at all the parents who then have 3 jobs between them... the father who works in the office and looks after his children, the mother who also works in an office and looks after her children.... Slate working mothers all you like ( and I know no-one here has done that on this thread!) but for some that is the only option... put your baby in care while you earn enough money to give it nice holidays, a nice home, good meals and clothing.
Some mothers are fortunate enough to have enough money to stay home during the early years and not have to work... I hope i will be one of them.
I agree these young mothers should be given help, but what I want to know is why so many young people feel the need to bring a baby into the world when they can't provide for it themselves? If they really are desperate for a child, and don't fall pregnant "accidentally" why can't they set themselves up first? I'm not a snob by any means, but I would loathe to fall pregnant and have to rely on the government to support my child... I would feel useless and saddened by the fact I could not support my child myself.... Pay for its home myself, pay for everything with my own wage and money. I'm not saying I wouln't be grateful for help from the government (tax credits etc) as I have contributed to taxes and deserve a little back when raising another human, but to rely solely on them for all income would destroy my soul, I'm sure.
I'm sure I'm going to get shot down by some of you now... Bring it on! Thats what I think, and I'm not a bad person!
You read the thread? Wow. Almost no-one does that. Nice one.
Par for the course here, best thing about the board (at times.)
Yeah these things always depend on the individual. There is another thread on here comparing the facts about certain people with what they are generally held to mean about someone.
http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showpost.php?p=1355086&postcount=58
Alcoholic, pointless risk taker, sacked for misconduct twice, druggie in college, and never gets up til noon.
Or as we know him best - Winston Churchill.
Yeah, but what if you felt you had already lost it? The really horrible thing I always found when I had to live in shit areas wasn't that they were bad, it was that almost everyone there had given up to a greater or lesser degree. I came to the conclusion that it was the general despair that made those areas like they were and kept the people in them in place as well. Just imo.
That's the spirit.
I think she should as well, parents are as responsible for education as schools are.
This is where it becomes more confusing.
Some people can drag themselves up from nothing- my parents started with absolutely nothing, and with a lot of work they moved up enough to give me a slight advantage over where they were from. I started off with not a right lot (more than some, less than more) and I got excellent A'Levels and a Durham degree.
What you need to be careful of is saying that because A dragged himself up from nothing, then B, C and D are lazy for not doing so too. It doesn't work like that- some people will have the ability and the confidence, and some won't. A lot of people from that background won't get beyond a Tesco till job, and those that do come from low to high have generally been very lucky.
It depends.
A job on £5.50 an hour (which is what Tesco pay a till monkey) isn't any better financially than benefits. The difference comes now with WFTC, which can make crap wages better, and I think that is an excellent idea for that reason.
Background alone doesn't save you from things, but it makes those things easier. Take drugs: the poor have to rob to get the coke, the rich can just get daddy to pay for it. People only care about the robbery, and so the poor druggie is punished when the rich one is not. Money also gets you better drugs.
But at the same time there has to be a choice. My mum stayed at home and looked after me and my sister: we didn't have a nice car, sofa, TV or many holidays, but we did have a parent there always to look after us and cook us proper food and read with us, etc etc. There is a choice, and it does need to be made for many people: stay at home and look after the kids, or have a decent car and foreign holidays.
Because they don't want to, and because it's hard to anyway. Me and my wife have a reasonably comfortable income for our ages, but even we can't afford to buy a house, and we can barely afford to rent our flat. If working only gives you another £20 a week, why would you bother working?