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Best friends, distance, and other things.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, this may be long, so apologies in advance.

Riiiiiiiiight ok...not really sure how to put this but it's kinda getting to me now so I have to write it down and I neeeeeeeeeeed advice on it.

So my best friend, Lewin, lives in Shropshire where I used to live. I knew him at school and we were never really friends then (he was one of the most annoying people in the world ever), but about a year and a half agoish I started talking to him again on MSN and like, I started liking him in that whole more-than-just-friends way. There were dreams, etc, and when I went to see him a couple months later we kinda...er...well, things happened which resulted with me and him in the same bed (no sex though, just wanna point that out). Then I got a bit attached and things went awkward for a bit, but it all sorted itself out, and he's now my very best friend ever. The last time I saw him was last August when I was staying up in Shropshire with my sister, and the next time I see him will be THIS August when I'm going to go and stay with him for a couple of days.

The thing is, I miss him like buggery. He really is my best friend in the whole world and I hate him being so far away when I need hugs and shit like that. I've been really stupidly over-emotional recently (as people on my LJ will know), and thinking about how much I miss him and things has been making me really upset, to the point where I've been in tears some nights because I miss him so much.

And then there's the other thing. The really bad one that I've only just managed to properly admit to myself. I'm in love with him, and it's quite bad, really. Partly because of the distance, partly because the last time I thought I was (I do actually know this time, it's a bit shit really) he got really freaked out and hence awkwardness. Butttttttttttt mostly because of...er...his girlfriend :|. It eats me up inside that he's got a girlfriend, which it shouldn't, because she's lovely and things. But I get so jealous :|. And then, like, he's a flirt, really badly. There's this thing we have from when I first started talking to him and I told him about one of my dreams (daydream actually but hey), and he said it should come true. So now we have this owing of "showerness", and he talks about it a lot, as he does the night where we ended up in the same bed. And him sitting there saying that kinda upsets me because I know it's not gonna happen any time soon, what with his girlfriend. But he has no idea how much I like him, and if I tell him to stop then he'll wonder why because it's how he's been since forever. Which gives me two options really...get over him, or tell him.

I don't think I could get over him, though. He's just so....GAH. So pretty and lovely and just...ya know. Which means I have to tell him really. I'm just not totally sure how to go about it and also, what happens if I tell him and things go awkward again? I dunno if I'd be able to deal with that because we're such fucking good friends now :(. Blah...I dunno.

I guess that was just a rant really, but any advice would be appreciated :).

Franki
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ahh interesting.....You have three options: A: Tell him and his feelings are reciprocated. B: Tell him and he gets freaked out and potentially harming your friendship. C: Don't say anything and maintain your well-balanced friendship.

    I guess if I were to to my situation, my gf is about to leave her best friend to come to Chicago. So if I reword it like yours it would be him saying how he always loved her more than a friend and bla bla and knowing she has a bf. However, I would totally flip. But, if your best friend wants this same thing of you and his gf allows it meaning without a fight then you got yourself a deal, however thats when things start going downhill. My friend actually hooked up with her best friend and he left his gf for her. Well eventually they got tooo scared since they knew so much of each other that they dropped the entire thing. But then, I know a couple who were best friends and they like the fact they know everything about each other and they got married and have been happily married for 5 years. So in other words --- It's a gamble.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i was in a similar sort of situation...even the thought of another perosn with him/her made you feel sick...time is the best healer :yes:
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