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I feel such a freak
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi there, new to this board.
Basically, I've only had sex once and I'm 28. I've been attempted rape on twice and had to go to counselling for it. The one I lost my virginity to I told about the attempted rapes and he was nice at the time, but once he took my virginity he p1ssed off and didn't want to hear from me again. I feel so used, its horrible. I trusted someone enough to sleep with them after all that's happened and he did that to me. I feel so crap.
I feel that I'm never going to be able to trust anyone again and be able to sleep with them bcos of what's happened. I feel such a freak that no-one will want to come near me anyway.
How do i get over all of this?
Basically, I've only had sex once and I'm 28. I've been attempted rape on twice and had to go to counselling for it. The one I lost my virginity to I told about the attempted rapes and he was nice at the time, but once he took my virginity he p1ssed off and didn't want to hear from me again. I feel so used, its horrible. I trusted someone enough to sleep with them after all that's happened and he did that to me. I feel so crap.
I feel that I'm never going to be able to trust anyone again and be able to sleep with them bcos of what's happened. I feel such a freak that no-one will want to come near me anyway.
How do i get over all of this?
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Comments
I think you need to shift your concentration to finding someone to be in a trusting relationship with, before considering how you will next sleep with someone. If the relationship is good enough he/she will make allowances for the rape attempts and not fuck off when you have shagged.
secondly, did you find counselling helpful in dealing with what had happened to you? or not?
sometimes it can really help to really try and let go of the past and take your life from the present moment onwards. once you make a conscious effort to do that, you might start feeling better about yourself.
okay, so you've only had sex once...is it that you are scared of sex now becasue of your experiences with it so far??? tbh my guess would be not that there is anyting wrong with you, just that you have not met a decent guy yet. there are a lot of people out there who will take advantage of you if you let them... it happens... its part of life even though it shouldn't be. and yes, your trust will have been damaged by what has happened to you. but only you can control how you feel and how you move on from that.
do you ahve any close friends? any close male friends? - that might be a starting place for building your trust back up wrt men.
believe me, i know where you are coming from.
I don't normally post here, so let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a young woman who had lived on her own for a long time, alone and far away from other people. The other people scared her, they were strange, had unusual faces and other features.
One day she met a strange individual who made her feel good all over. But he wasn't the right one for her, just someone she was toying with until she knew she had found what she was looking for. And she had to keep on looking for if she stopped looking then she would never know all the things she needed to know to be herself, without a hand to understand she would waist time seeking when she could be finding.
If you look around the room and find all the green things, how easily do you spot the other colours?
in fact im not over it.
but my fiancee helped me learn that it really IS a Minority of guys who are like that, i ended up making love to him but i was terrified, i even tested him by saying 'stop' in the middle just to make sure i was in control.
but you just have to concentrate onthe relationship, sex is a small part of love.
and freak!?!? i think not!!!