If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Why is he treating me like this?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi there,
Basically there has been an instant attraction between me and a married guy at work. We were both working together at the time (although not now). I would often catch him staring at me across the office, staring at my bum (!!), trying to make conversation with me, trying to get my attention. Then I told a friend about how I felt about this guy, but decided not to do anything about it. My "friend" went and told married guy, then I told married guy when we all went out one night. He said that he liked me a lot but he was committed to his wife. He then said if only he'd met me before his wife, things would be different and another time, another place. We hugged, kissed and held hands but I then left. He then acted really awkward with me at work. I then went off sick for 2 months and after I came back he was all over me. Staring at me across the office, trying to get my attention and getting jealous if i spoke to a male colleague. He kept spending lunch with me and my friend, but would only talk to my friend, when other people were around but then would only talk to me if no-one was around. We all went out one night and I got really drunk. I stupidly went to hug him and he tried to kiss me. I backed off and realised what I was doing. However, he came into work the next day, was avoiding me then started talking really loudly about his wife in front of me to a friend. I knew then that this wasn't going anywhere and backed off completely. Except he kept trying to get my attention etc. A few months later, and after i'd stopped seeing someone, married guy made a huge pass at me. I hadn't even encouraged him at this point. So I managed to get a job in another department. However, since then I've still caught him staring at me, but then won't speak to me (only when no-one is around). He even had the cheek to say to me a couple of months ago "Hi, can we speak to you now that you've moved up in the world?" like i was hierarchy or something?! He completely ignores me when other people are around and then only speaks to me when no-one is around and tries to flirt with me. I know I was silly to flirt with him at 1st but then i came to my senses, started seeing other people (but he got jealous about that!), and disengaged any further flirtation with him. Why is he treating me like this?! Any help/advice appreciated. Thanks.
Basically there has been an instant attraction between me and a married guy at work. We were both working together at the time (although not now). I would often catch him staring at me across the office, staring at my bum (!!), trying to make conversation with me, trying to get my attention. Then I told a friend about how I felt about this guy, but decided not to do anything about it. My "friend" went and told married guy, then I told married guy when we all went out one night. He said that he liked me a lot but he was committed to his wife. He then said if only he'd met me before his wife, things would be different and another time, another place. We hugged, kissed and held hands but I then left. He then acted really awkward with me at work. I then went off sick for 2 months and after I came back he was all over me. Staring at me across the office, trying to get my attention and getting jealous if i spoke to a male colleague. He kept spending lunch with me and my friend, but would only talk to my friend, when other people were around but then would only talk to me if no-one was around. We all went out one night and I got really drunk. I stupidly went to hug him and he tried to kiss me. I backed off and realised what I was doing. However, he came into work the next day, was avoiding me then started talking really loudly about his wife in front of me to a friend. I knew then that this wasn't going anywhere and backed off completely. Except he kept trying to get my attention etc. A few months later, and after i'd stopped seeing someone, married guy made a huge pass at me. I hadn't even encouraged him at this point. So I managed to get a job in another department. However, since then I've still caught him staring at me, but then won't speak to me (only when no-one is around). He even had the cheek to say to me a couple of months ago "Hi, can we speak to you now that you've moved up in the world?" like i was hierarchy or something?! He completely ignores me when other people are around and then only speaks to me when no-one is around and tries to flirt with me. I know I was silly to flirt with him at 1st but then i came to my senses, started seeing other people (but he got jealous about that!), and disengaged any further flirtation with him. Why is he treating me like this?! Any help/advice appreciated. Thanks.
0
Comments
Id avoid him if I were you, dont hug him or flirt with him, just leave him alone. I know he comes on to you too, but dont encourage it. It doesnt sound like youre going to be friends because you fancy each other. Hes married. Leave him alone.
Stay well clear, it won't ever be good for you, and it won't ever be good for him. Be civil but make it clear you are not sexually attracted to him.
Theres also the thing that if he can cheat on his wife then if you two got together he could cheat on you as easily.
It must be hard though, is there any way you can distance yourself from him whilst you're feeling like this?
Phoenix
Me too. Hmmm.
ETA: Found it.
http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?t=77611&highlight=married+office
So why do you still even CARE what he thinks or how he carries on if, as you say, you want to get on with your life?