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quitting

SystemSystem Posts: 8,649 Staff Team
Has anyone here ever left a course they loved because they just couldnt handle it.
Im seriously contemplating leaving my nursing course even though i love it, because I just am finding juggling running a house, looking after a child, and doing my course soooo difficult.
Its only 3 days a week which I can handle, but its the assignments and homework which I just cant seem to do. I havent done an essay since school, and im 28 now. Just the thought of it sends me into a panic, and Ive got so many other things to do, I usually end up doing those instead. Ive now got 4 weeks in which to do two 2000 word essays on subjects I really dont know that much about. I have the odd day here and there where im at home alone and `could` get on with it, but most times I have to look after my 4 year old, and my house is turning into a complete shit tip because i never have time to tidy it, or if I do, its at the expense of study time. I dont really get any help with this.
I really dont want to leave, but im constantly feeling stressed more than I ever have before. If I do leave, im going to feel like such a failure. I know if I leave, im going to have a huge weight lifted, but I dont want to just run away when the going gets tough and because im frightened of essays and have a messy house.
I keep crying. Ive cried on my placement twice in front of the ward manager because its so overwhelming. Everyone keeps telling me how essays arent really that hard, and in a way theyre right. I have the essay plan pretty much written out for me, but I just CANT seem to be able to even start it.
The way I see it, is its just going to get worse, and ive got 4 years of it.
I wish id stuck at school and done the university thing whilst living at home and having all my meals cooked and housework done and bills paid for me so I had nothing else to concentrate on but my studies.
This is really really hard.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you have a course supervisor or someone you could go and talk your probems over with? They are often quite understanding as they don't exactly like people dropping out either :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    try talking with one of your tutors about how you feel atm about your course. and your problems with essay writing... it might be you could get some guidance with it. i know at my university you can get hep with that, esp. if you are a mature student - a few of my mates have done that!

    also, think about why you chose your course in the first place... becasue it is something you really wanted to do, right?! may be the reason you can't start it is becasue you see it as overwhelming and you are scared of screwing it up?! - how about trying to write just a paragraph... a little at a time... getting it done that way - because i bet trying to sit down for 3 hours or so, straight trying to get it done is impossible with your commitment to your children.

    also, remember there are lots of mature students at unis... and somehow they all find a way of managing to make it through... and you can too... there is no shame in asking for a little bit of help though. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you love it, stick at it - seriously.

    2000 words won't take you long. you could sit down and do it in a day.

    don't give up. :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm in my 3rd year doing nursing and although I have no family committments I have bills to pay so bank shifts are a necessity, which sometimes means coursework is my least priority. A lot of my frends have committments and hats off to them because I don't think I could do it. What year are u in? Do you have a partner who could maybe help out with childcare while you went to the library to get on with your essays? Sometimes its impossible to settle down in front of the computer at home because the motivation isn't there, if you went to the library there wouldn't be so many distractions. Good luck hun X
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Quitting should only be a last resort, especially if you love the course. Go and talk to your course leader or your tutor, talk to them, make them aware of the problems. It seems you have already done it to an extent, but make sure they know how hard you find it.

    Can you teach your husband how to use a vacuum? I don't mean that flippantly, but is there any way you can give more of your burden to him?

    I understand what you mean about panicking about essays, I think when things seem to build up high then it's perfectly normal and acceptable to panic. I had a nervous breakdown because of my dissertation, and I didn't have 64,000 other things to be doing either.

    I don't think you should quit because the work is hard, but if your health is going to suffer because of the stress then you need to think long and hard about what you value more. Is the nursing qualification more or less important than a clean house and less stress?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Rainbow,
    To a certain extent I know how you feel, I had 2 5000 word essays to do a few weeks back and 2 exams, left it all to the last minute because the whole thing just seemed so big and scary I just couldn't face doing them.

    I also have a weekend job, housemates who are seemingly incapable of doing any cleaning or thinking that we're running low on toilet rolls etc, and was having a bit of a family crisis at the time. Although I wasn't juggling as much as you and I don't pretend to, it was really stressful.

    My advice is just break it all down, sounds like you have that all sorted with your essay plan, it's much easier to think in terms of 10 lots of 200 words rather than 2000. Plus it should be easier to fit them around your schedule as well.

    I also have a booklet the uni here gave me when I started which I find quite useful on how to write essays. If you want a copy PM me and I'll scan it in and send it over to you.

    Good luck with it all and don't give up - I seriously considered it as well as I hated my course then but since the essays have gone I feel so much more optimistic about my course.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey,
    do u have family or friends who could help u out with babysitting so u can have some time to yourself??even if its only a hour or so.
    with the essays, since u have already got a plan, break it down even more so it will make it easier to write 2000 words and a small section shouldnt take too long.
    if u quit u will regret it for ever!!! as said before, could u talk to ur tutors to try and work something out? i know at my uni there is a department for academic writing. they will help us structure an essay and read it over aswell do u have anything at ur uni?
    does ur child go to nursery or a child minder?could they maybe look after him/her for a bit longer??
    hope it all works out. try not to quit, u will regret it.
    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "Quitting is for quitters"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for your replies everyone. Ive been thinking about it, and im going to stick it out, maybe just taking it one semester at a time. I certainly am not going to give it up without giving this essay a damn good go. We get 3 chances at passing it before they chuck us off the course anyway. Just keep doubting myself really. Kermit he does do some of the cleaning if I ask him, but can I really be arsed to keep asking him every time? it just makes me sound like a nag and I still end up doing it anyway. I know its a bit doormattish, but hes got his own full time job too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats the spirit!
    good luck :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would certainly echo what everyone else has said about speaking to your personal tutor too, or perhaps any mature student advisory service that may be able to provide you with some advice. Most Uni's are very understanding, and they will be able to see that you have genuine reasons for struggling. At least they will be aware then which should also take pressure of yourself and allow you to concentrate.

    All the best and good luck,

    Jon
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