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Would you say yes?

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kaffrin wrote:
    becks, one person said it was easy. one.

    Aye, in this thread.

    Everytime a thread of this nature is started the same arguments arise and why I commented was because cruel wrote something I can totally relate to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    ...if a group 13 year olds asked you to buy them a bottle of vodka from the corner shop?

    I just declined the same request and they were none too impressed. ;)


    I get that a lot, i'm going into the Co-Op and 12 year olds will ask me to buy them ciggarettes, fools, don't they realise i work there!?
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,067 I eat threads for breakfast
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Who actually sad it was easy anyway?

    It wasn't just that.

    There's an attitude from some people that implies that if you can't give up you obviously havn't tried - which is bollocks - and coming from people who have never experienced an addiction to anything (let alone a substance that's often regarded as more addictive then heroin it) it just seem a bit wrong.

    Nobody here has said it's impossible to give up anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    It wasn't just that.

    There's an attitude from some people that implies that if you can't give up you obviously havn't tried

    Yeah, can sound very patronising saying that, unless you have suffered yourself trying to give up smoking, etc. My dad has always wanted to quit smoking, but just can't and to be honest in this case I'm glad as I would not be able to cope with his mood swings haha... my mum was bad enough. Was worse living with her int he early days of her giving up smoking, than when she was going through menopause.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So like 4 years ago.....My best friend (who had JUST turned 18) was caught buying alcohol for another friend who was 17.

    She was given a $600 fine and he got something around $200

    This is in Australia so i dont know what the laws are like for u guys..... but its a lot of money to waste just cos u feel bad saying no to a bunch of kids!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, can sound very patronising saying that, unless you have suffered yourself trying to give up smoking, etc.

    See, this in itself is patronising in the other direction, but you guys don't seem to care about that. It's ridiculous to assume that just because someone is writing that people can give up smoking that they have never experienced either giving it up, or a similar thing.
    My dad has always wanted to quit smoking, but just can't and to be honest in this case I'm glad as I would not be able to cope with his mood swings haha... .

    That suggests to me that he is of the attitude that he wont be able to give up, which is exactly the sort of thing that I was talking about. With that attitude he wont be able to give up, no.

    Anyone who approaches giving up smoking thinking "oh well I know I can't give up but I will try" is doomed to fail in their attempt, it's that very reasoning that I have heard before from smokers who, not surprisingly, are still smokers.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,067 I eat threads for breakfast
    Mist wrote:
    It's ridiculous to assume that just because someone is writing that people can give up smoking that they have never experienced either giving it up, or a similar thing.

    I'm talking about those that have never suffered a nicotine addiction. I havn't assumed anything about anyone. I think it's fair to say there is no substitute for experience.

    How did you overcome you aclohol addiction - I'm intrested?

    Mist wrote:
    That suggests to me that he is of the attitude that he wont be able to give up, which is exactly the sort of thing that I was talking about. With that attitude he wont be able to give up, no..

    Now you're the one assuming things about people you don't even know.
    Just because people say they can't give up doesn't mean they havn't tried.
    And for others to just say 'well, they just havn't tried hard enough' is very patronising.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mist wrote:
    It's ridiculous to assume that just because someone is writing that people can give up smoking that they have never experienced either giving it up, or a similar thing.

    aye. way to make an assumption.

    just because people don't list their past addictions and problems in their profiles doesn't mean they don't exist.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    I'm talking about those that have never suffered a nicotine addiction. I havn't assumed anything about anyone. I think it's fair to say there is no substitute for experience.

    How did you overcome you aclohol addiction - I'm intrested?

    It's not really relevant, but I would say I did over time. I started to recognise that it was not right and lost the interest that was the hook.
    Now you're the one assuming things about people you don't even know.
    Just because people say they can't give up doesn't mean they havn't tried.
    And for others to just say 'well, they just havn't tried hard enough' is very patronising.


    Not really, it's the truth, as I have said before.

    You might not like the fact that someone not being able to give up means that they haven't tried hard enough, but it's true. if someone "cannot give up" then they have a choice. They can either carry on with their addiction, or they can try harder to stop it. It's not patronising to say that, it's the truth.

    Okay so they might need external help to assist them with trying harder, but the plain facts are that you either try to stop, or you don't stop at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I once got called a 'black bastard' for not giving a mini-chav a fag

    hmmm :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's a typical skeet char baby, the word we use round here for chavs.

    If i asked someone for a cigarette i wouldn't call them a name just because they wouldn't give me one, that's a bit pathetic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do they not think before they open there imbecilic mouths?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think so.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Violette wrote:
    Just because you try to give up smoking doesn't mean that you'll succeed. You can want to do something so much, and really put a lot of hard work and determination into it, but short of being locked up with no cigs for a good long time, you're depending on yourself to quit.
    I think a lot of smokers aren't proud of smoking, but it takes more than hard work to quit, cuz I think a lot of smokers are trying very hard to quit but are finding it impossible. The amount of help you get doesn't matter, in the end it's down to you, and I think though you might want really want to quit, some people find it impossible.
    I do think it's patronising to say 'you can do it if you just try hard enough' because how frustrating is it when you are really trying to do something and you really want to but you just can't get there?
    spot on! i keep trying to stop smoking and its fucking hell on earth.but it doesnt help that i like smoking weed now and again,keep thinking i'll stop smoking and just bong it.i like my vices too much,god help me!
    i gave up for 2 months after my dads death,then started again like a twat!
    people who have never done anything just dont understand.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,067 I eat threads for breakfast
    Mist wrote:
    It's not really relevant, but I would say I did over time. I started to recognise that it was not right and lost the interest that was the hook..

    I don't beliece you know anything about alcohol addiction. Drinking too much does not automatically equal an alcohol addiction. I suppose you managed to overcome this alcohol addiction all by yourself?
    Mist wrote:
    You might not like the fact that someone not being able to give up means that they haven't tried hard enough, but it's true.

    I said that just because someone has put in the effort but not succeded doesn't mean that they have tried. You disagree with taht?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    I don't beliece you know anything about alcohol addiction. Drinking too much does not automatically equal an alcohol addiction. I suppose you managed to overcome this alcohol addiction all by yourself?

    Frankly what you believe is of no importance to me.
    I said that just because someone has put in the effort but not succeded doesn't mean that they have tried. You disagree with taht?

    No, but I still think that it means that they need to try harder.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,067 I eat threads for breakfast
    Mist wrote:
    No, but I still think that it means that they need to try harder.

    Well that goes without saying.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    Well that goes without saying.

    Apparently not as some people seem to think it's insulting to say it.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,067 I eat threads for breakfast
    Violette wrote:
    Mist, I think you just came across like you had dismissed people's efforts to give up, well I personally took it that you were saying 'yeah you've tried, keep trying', and that to me is rather frustrating because people who are trying to give up don't need someone going oh well try harder. It seems impossible to them, and as someone who has tried to quit, it seems like the most difficult thing in the world, and someone going 'oh just try harder', because you honestly feel like you're doing your best. It's discouraging imo, and it came across as a bit patronising. I don't know, that's the impression I got anyway.


    :yes: Spot on.

    And it seems especially patronising when coming from people who have never had a nicotine addiction.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    :yes: Spot on.

    And it seems especially patronising when coming from people who have never had a nicotine addiction.

    There's always that element of "it's your own fault" there, however. Not meaning to dig :p but it does give non-smokers a sense of high and mightyness, whether it's justified or not.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Violette wrote:
    Don't you think smokers know it's their own fault though? They're not asking for pity or anything, and for some non-smokers to come in being all 'oh try harder and get over it' it's like, well it's easy for you to say isn't it, seeing as you've never been there.
    Yeah, you may know people who have done it, but not all people have. Some just find it so difficult and impossible and it's awful to have people going 'well it is possible' and 'try harder', as you're just like 'well why can't I seem to do it then?'. Makes you feel a bit crap tbh, with non-smokers going on about how you can quit, but yet they've never tried.

    It's one of those things. I sympathise with you because I hate smoking and anyone who's going to the effort to give up should be given all the support possible. Maybe it's just meant as friendly encouragement in the sense "don't give up, it is possible" since they don't want you to give up giving up. Having said that, lots of people try to give up 3 or 4 times then manage it on their 5th.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I WILL pack in within the next 6 months, its a promise I made very recently to my Mam and you know what....im gonna do it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm cutting down at cigarettes at least, smoking rolling tobacco alot more though. At least it's not as bad as cigarettes.
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