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boyfriend issues :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
right ive known my bf for just over a year and we've been going out almost two months, thing is its a long distance thing and hes only back here in the holidays which means at most i get to see him a few months a year.

it was all fine before he came back and i wasnt having any issues with it, but then he came and things were amazing and now he's left gone back to england. we both knew it would be hard and i know for sure he likes me (from little things he says and does), but i just feel so neglected and like hes gone off me. he tells me i dont need to worry but i cant help it, i really like him and i really dont know what to do.

please help me :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would advise you speak to him about what he is feeling. If you have known him for a year before you started going out, the chances are that he does genuinly like you. However, you are bound to feel neglected if you cannot see him very often. Perhaps visit him more on weekends?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ive tried talking to him and he just tells me not to worry....but i know i need to talk about it, and he knows he cant talk about it. so we're in a bit of a dillema. i would see him more but its not a case of a train journey or two away....we're talking 7hours by plane and an hours train journey :(

    think i should just get used to it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tbh, I can only really see two options.

    -Either get used to it, and try to overcome the distance barrier between you. This will be hard, but if the relationship is strong enough it will get through it.
    -Or just remain as friends..

    I'm sure the guy is feeling the same way too..:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how long will it be like that for you two? i mean the distance thing?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My situation is kind of the same, except not as bad. My boyfriend and I live about an hour and a half apart, and I only get to see him on the weekends. But he works until 8pm eevery day, so the only time i really get to see him is from 8pm to around 3am on Fridays and Saturdays. .Its hard, but i talk to him online all the time, and its almost Summer when I'll be going back home and get to see him a lot.. but after summers over im gonna have to leave him again.. I know it isnt easy, but its something that you can get used to.. just treasure the times that you have together, and try to talk to him on the phone or online as much as you can. Thats what keeps me going :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nicebutdim23 wrote:
    how long will it be like that for you two? i mean the distance thing?
    the distance thing? well its all dependant on whether or not i get into uni in england this year or not. if so then hes only going to be 30minutes away or an hour when hes back home. But failing that i guess its going to be a long term thing.

    thanks nothinggoldcansay, we do try talking as much as possible on both the phone and net but with him doing his A levels and the grades he needs to get its hard to get him when hes not at school or revising. i guess thats why im having random outbursts...cos i dont have the conversations to keep me going.

    i was going to break up with him last night but i really dont want to, so i guess i have to get used to it. thanks you lot
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Long distance relationships can work if both parties want them to.

    Its understandable that you feel neglected, as he is not physically there perhaps when you need him.

    Though it is perhaps as tough for him as well, and doesn't want to talk about it because it will bring his feelings out, and this is his way of dealing with the distance?

    Being a long distance apart, will make your time together much more special,
    and will be a reminder about why your going through it all - because its worth it!

    The path of true love is never straight, have you discussed a possible future together ? - you said yourself he shows he cares because of the things he does. This is his way of balancing things out, he may not be able to talk about his feelings but is letting you know in other ways.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i never thought it would be this hard. i just spoke to him and i have this really odd feeling hes gone off me...so i emailed him and well yeh im just waiting on a reply....which he will hopefully do :/
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and my gf are in a long distance relationship but its more like several hours a way, but UAE to UK, wow thats a true test of love.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey hunny!!!!
    it seems as if we´ve got the same problem!
    i only see my b/f in the holidays as he lives in the UK and i live in Germany :(
    we´ve known eachother for about 2 and a half years now, everytime i have to go back i feel horrible because i miss him sooooo much! it´s true though u do get kinda used to it but still everytime u have spent a couple of weeks together it´s as if the world is falling apart when u have to say "good-bye"...
    after some time i always start to think tht maybe he´ll meet somebody else i get really upset and scared then, but in the end u cant change it if he does meet somebody else! just enjoy the time u can spent together!!!! Talking on the phone and on the net does help i guess but i do find it quite frustrating at times... it´s just not the same :(
    I hope u´ll be lucky and get into uni in the UK everything´s gonna be fine then so just think positive!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah long distance is never easy...but keeping intouch is very important (she says waiting for wheresmyplacebo to come online...grrr), i know how much it hurts, it's never easy but all i can say is just try and keep going...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks you lot....but unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) we broke up. so for the past few days its been a case of trying to get over him and move on. not what id planned on but i felt it was going to happen :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, check this, I know a girl who's bf is in Jamaica and they have been going for 1 1/2 years!!! It is possible to have a long distance relationship if u r prepared to make sacrifices with ur own love life in the short term just so, eventually, you can be with someone you truly love. If both people do commit to making such sacrifices and in the end a long distance relationship can become a short distance one, you know its meant to be...

    Amira sorry to hear the news, I went thru the same thing over a week ago so I can perhaps sympathise a little bit with how u r feeling
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey Amira
    Thats so sad that you broke up with your bf!
    but mind you with the distance being very long i take it hes in england and your in dubai. you cant be to sure what hes up to and i understand that you miss him loads and its hard for you to meet up!
    i miss my bf when he goes home and he only lives 15 minutes away!
    I hope you get over him.. and find some one better! xx
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