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I think that I need Help

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
am so depressed. I hate myself. I have got the idea in my head that I am ugly, and fat (size 14) and that no man would ever sleep with me because I am fat. I would never let anyone see me naked!

I am a confident person, and I don't care what people think, it's what I think about myself. That's why my family don't understand what I mean, because I am so confident, about everything but myself. I am getting to the point where I like to hurt myself, Self Harm or whatever, not to watch myself bleed but to scar myself. It started off with scratches, then to 1/2 centimeter long deeper cuts, now they are an inch and really deep. And I pick them to make sure that they scar.

I have huge boobs (34F) that make me more self concious than I already am, because I know that guys aren't looking at my face and thinking "yeah she fit" or "shes a minger" they're thinking "jesus how big are her tits?" I get dirty old men staring at me in te street, anything from 30-60+ but people my own age, 17 aren't interested and don't even glance at my face. i think that if I don't get help soon I might hurt myself badly, I know i shouldn't but it feels like I cant control it. I don't understand

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A lot of people feel like this. It sounds like therapy could help you boost your self image. Confident people can just as easily be depressed, and often it's only an act to hide what's going on inside. Size 14 is by no means fat, and the fact that men are staring at you isn't necessarily to do with your bust size.

    Give yourself some time out and find the interests that mean something to you. Focus on those, and allow yourself to get to know and understand who you are inside.

    If you're continuing to hurt yourself I'd recommend seeing a doctor perhaps for a course of antidepressants. I read that 1 in 5 take them at some point in their lives so it's nothing to be ashamed of. I used to take them myself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry about my post which was removed.
    reading it in the original forum where i came across it confused me a little i think.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would losing weight solve the problem, or do you think there is more to it than that?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    am so depressed. I hate myself. I have got the idea in my head that I am ugly, and fat (size 14) and that no man would ever sleep with me because I am fat. I would never let anyone see me naked!

    If I were to give you advice it might be this -

    I would take a walk down the high street either today or tomorrow and check out all the "ugly" married people. Everyone is beautiful and desirable to someone.
    I have huge boobs (34F) that make me more self concious than I already am

    Those "huge boobs" will be the source of joy for your lovers, will nurse your children and be the envy of other girls and women. You might have to put up wih the odd stare from "dirty old men" but if you think about it, it's a quick way to find out if someone is interested in you, or only interested in your body.

    You already have a way to choose the good from the bad, do you really need another?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Learning to love the skin you're in can be a long, hard process, but the sooner you realise that you are what you are, the sooner you can get to the place where you're happy with what you've got. You say you are a confident person, which is a great start - build on that by remembering all the positive things about yourself rather than focusing on the negative. And be aware that very few people are perfect - we all have aspects about our bodies and ourselves that drive us insane with worry - but to others these things are hardly noticable.

    Take a look at some of these articles:

    Low self esteem

    Building self esteem

    Distorted body image

    I hope these help you take a more positive look at yourself.
    Take care
    Hannah Spanner :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    Would losing weight solve the problem, or do you think there is more to it than that?
    If a girl is a size 14 and thinks she's fat then there's an awful lot more to it than that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why do you need help from someone else; why can't you help yourself?
    fuck what other people think of you... why should their opinions matter anyway?
    you need to feel better IN yourself. try doing something that makes you feel good about yourself... and keep doing it, and you'll begin to like yourself.
    other than that may be you could try and talk to your gp about getting some counselling or someone to talk to about your feelings... but at the end of the day; you really need to help yourself!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    If a girl is a size 14 and thinks she's fat then there's an awful lot more to it than that.

    :yes:

    Siz 14 is average isn't it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    If a girl is a size 14 and thinks she's fat then there's an awful lot more to it than that.
    Maybe. But you don't need to be morbidly obese to be desperately unhappy about your weight.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe. But you don't need to be morbidly obese to be desperately unhappy about your weight.
    :yes: i think a lot of girls have the idea that if they are not a size 8 or 10 then they are fat. but, having said that; size 12-14 is the most popular size of womens clothing in the UK.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am a size 10 and I still think that I'm fat ... however I've learnt to live with it and occasionally like myself.

    It doesn't matter what size people are but, as has already been said, it's how they feel about themselves that counts. It's easy to lose focus when you're not happy about something and just let that problem take over your life. Sometimes we need someone else to talk to to help us focus on the wider issues.

    I would suggest talking it over with a friend, or someone you trust ... however if you can't face that, then have a chat with your doctor or pm someone from the site whom you feel that you can confide in ... we're a friendly bunch!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your not fat at all; im a size 12 and i get called skinny

    how tall are you? maybe you should try eating healthily it will make you feel better and if you lose weight along the way, im sure that would make you feel better too.

    Also you could get some flattering clothes, often average sized women will wear stuff that is so unflattering that they end up looking fat when in fact they are not.

    Also, get yourself a good fitting minimizing bra. If you flaunt your chest when out you cant blame people for looking. If you dont want them to look, dont show too much of it off (im not saying you do because i dont know)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Loopi wrote:
    I am a size 10 and I still think that I'm fat

    and me, i used to be size 14 and i was very unhappy. i knew i wasnt fat but i felt very uncomfortable with my wieght. i am now size 10 and am still as unhappy with my body and weight as i was size 14!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stop bein done on your self think your self lucky that u are actually fit and healthy there be over 100 women sumwhere whod kill for your bod. i used to feel like that but now i dont give a dam, to me im a real woman and i have fun i dotn care what other people think
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    are sizes in the UK the same as in the US?
    :no:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    are sizes in the UK the same as in the US?
    No, subtract 2 I think.

    so US 6 is UK 8.

    On topic, I wear anything from an 8 to a 14, depending on where I buy it and what I'm buying. Most of the time I'm a twelve, 12-14 is the most average normal size in the UK. But the most important thing stephanie that "thin" does not mean healthy, and "fat" doesn't mean you're unhealthy or unattractive. It's not your weight that matters, I weigh a chunky 10 st 5lbs, but I can run 6km do 120 sit ups and 40/50 pressups without and significant trouble. The best thing I can suggest for you is that if you're unhappy about your shape, then change it with a healthy attitude to excercise and a balanced diet.

    Excercise will tone your shape and make you feel better about yourself just because you're doing it, and eating the things you're supposed to will also improve your outlook. Stop worrying about your weight though, muscle size for size weighs 40% more than fat.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    down i meant not done
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