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Awkward Sex....
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all,
First off, I'm in a very loving, caring relationship with a lovely bloke! We have got a great relationship, but there's just a few things that are bugging me to do with our sex life... Well here you go!
I love having sex with him, and he gives me a lot of pleasure :yes: ... but I don't think I give him half as much as he does me... He rarely comes during sex and says its because we do the same positions over and over.
I can see where hes coming from, but we've tried others and they've never worked. For instance he's tried taking me from behind... but it just hasn't worked, no matter what angle me arse is pointed or how I'm positioned!! I just end up looking like a right wally with my arse in the air in the middle of sex and him poking about and achieving not a lot!! :mad: :mad:
Now, I'll be the first to admit I don't have the smallest posterior :eek: ... But surely this shouldn't get in the way of sex???!!! (He doesn't have a minute willy either, before some smart Alec says it!! LOL) :razz:
Missionary is great for me, but him being quite skinny it makes his arms ache a LOT, and ends up giving up.... I think this is why he rarely comes....
Anyway, rambeling on and on!!! Maybe a few of you could suggest some techniques or positions for us to try out or a little variation or twist to what we're doing wrong, to make it right(!)
Thanks for your help kiddos!!!
Mikki
First off, I'm in a very loving, caring relationship with a lovely bloke! We have got a great relationship, but there's just a few things that are bugging me to do with our sex life... Well here you go!
I love having sex with him, and he gives me a lot of pleasure :yes: ... but I don't think I give him half as much as he does me... He rarely comes during sex and says its because we do the same positions over and over.
I can see where hes coming from, but we've tried others and they've never worked. For instance he's tried taking me from behind... but it just hasn't worked, no matter what angle me arse is pointed or how I'm positioned!! I just end up looking like a right wally with my arse in the air in the middle of sex and him poking about and achieving not a lot!! :mad: :mad:
Now, I'll be the first to admit I don't have the smallest posterior :eek: ... But surely this shouldn't get in the way of sex???!!! (He doesn't have a minute willy either, before some smart Alec says it!! LOL) :razz:
Missionary is great for me, but him being quite skinny it makes his arms ache a LOT, and ends up giving up.... I think this is why he rarely comes....
Anyway, rambeling on and on!!! Maybe a few of you could suggest some techniques or positions for us to try out or a little variation or twist to what we're doing wrong, to make it right(!)
Thanks for your help kiddos!!!
Mikki
0
Comments
Go here...
http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?t=76413
...and scroll to the bottom for some stuff I managed to dig out via Google.
Ian.
- once he's "out" of you, can he come easily if you give him a hand/blow-job?
- does he need to finish himself off and can he do it when you're present?
- does he masturbate alone and come quickly through that method? (ask him)
- does he own lots of porn?
- do you use a condom?
Ian.
it's always fun and has nothing to do with the size of your "posterior"
I love having sex with him, and he gives me a lot of pleasure :yes: ... but I don't think I give him half as much as he does me... He rarely comes during sex and says its because we do the same positions over and over.
I can see where hes coming from, but we've tried others and they've never worked. For instance he's tried taking me from behind... but it just hasn't worked, no matter what angle me arse is pointed or how I'm positioned!! I just end up looking like a right wally with my arse in the air in the middle of sex and him poking about and achieving not a lot!! :mad: :mad:
Now, I'll be the first to admit I don't have the smallest posterior :eek: ... But surely this shouldn't get in the way of sex???!!! (He doesn't have a minute willy either, before some smart Alec says it!! LOL) :razz:
Missionary is great for me, but him being quite skinny it makes his arms ache a LOT, and ends up giving up.... I think this is why he rarely comes....
endQUOTE]
the size of your bum has no bearing on doggy style - im a big girl and it hasnt made much of a difference to my man.
most couples tend to stick to four positions roughly anyway so don't feel its because of this- and then most other positions are variations on those anyway eg one leg in the air etc.
if you are using condoms these can affect a mans ability to cum so try switching to a thinner, increased sensitvity brand ( this is not an excuse for men to not wear one though unless they are in a monogomous commited relationship, both partners have been tested for STDs,and other birth control is being used).
its also worth mentioning that some men also need more foreplay than others, spend a couple of sessions with full sex off the menu and focus on getting him going with BJs etc and then incorporate it into your lovemaking - sometimes going back a stage can really help.
hope thats helped! xx
Get naked and tease him first - like he said he's 'used' to the same positions; but he's probably used to the routine as well. There are loads of way to tease someone like this and he should be dying for it afterwards. Foreplay is good too!
And like i said before, if he's getting tired try spoons (you lie on your side and he cuddles up to you from behind and goes in that way) - it's very intimate. But when you're in missionary why doens't he try cuddling you instead of propping himself up, you should both still be able to thrust and it's a lot more intimate.
And I have the same problem as you except reversed
I may try again with doggy maybe get him to stand on the floor when im on the bed?
And I'll try out the spoons, Im just a bit wary about initiating it, not sure how too!!!!
The only thing with missionary and when we're cuddling, is that it just feels better :yes: for us when hes propped up with a bit more leverage behind him (lol!) :chin:
-I haven't really made him come too many times to be honest... So no, not really (god this is depressing!!!)
-Yeah he can finish himself off, this happened at first, as he went to, I said no, becuase it made me feel neglected and like shit to be honest(!), so yes he can also do it when Im present....
-I this the answer is yes to the masturbation, as we have spoke about it.
-and yes, he has a fair amount of porn
-No we dont use a condom (I'm on the pill, both first sexual partners, all cosher!!)
***************
Anyway, it could be any of these things, Im interested to know what Ian's going to make of my answers to his questions(!) :eek2: hehe!!
And it could well be the foreplay, because we're both young, we still live with our parents, so things do get rushed...
Im going to try some of this out
Any more ideas etc will be greatly appreciated!!!
!!!!THANKS!!!!
Mikki
It sounds like he suffers the same thing as me. I can go on for aaaaages without coming during sex but don't have a problem (alone or with her) once I'm out. Out of interest, when you're having sex, does he go limp after a while (e.g. 15-20 mins) or does he stay hard for as long as necessary?
There's a few things you can try:
- Viagra ... this will make him slightly more sensitive and also removes any risk that he gets "bored" and limp.
- Get him to abstain from solitary masturbation ... it could well be that he's so used to the feel of his own hand and/or wanking to porn that sex just doesn't feel the same. It's no reflection on how he feels about you or how attractive he finds you so please don't go thinking anything along those lines
- Distraction therapy ... you might find this a bit distasteful but try having sex while he's watching porn or while thinking about something else (yes, this will be very hard for you to cope with but will allow him to get "lost in the moment" and hopefully he'll come without realising it)
- Antihistemine pills ... anti-congestants/anti-allergy pills such as Sudafed, taken an hour or so before sex, have been reported to make the guy come more easily. Go for "Sudafed Decongestant Tablets" because they contain the most pseudoephedrine. They can be bought from any pharmacist on request.
I can't stress enough that this is highly unlikely to be anything to do with you. Strangely enough, the stronger a man feels for a woman, the more likely the problem is to occur (and some sufferers can easily come with a hooker but not with their loved one).
Is he worried about how well he performs? Performance anxiety can also inhibit ejaculation. Try some long, lingering foreplay and make sure he's nice and relaxed. Try to re-inforce in his mind that you don't care how he performs or whether you come or not. Let him know that just being with him is enough for you.
As I said before, he "may" be suffering from the same thing but it does affect 5-10% of men from time to time.
Ian.
Well..... Thats a strange, unexpected, insight.....
To be honest, I think its the performance issue...... Once when I initiated sex, he kind of rolled away and I just said, basically, why don't you want to have sex with me? Do you actually like it??
And he started saying yeah... but we always have the same position blah blah...
Then one night at his, we was having sex, and he couldnt come.... and he kinda just said he finds it hard to come with me being there and something about performance and that he doesnt just want to come all over me... but for the life of me I cant remember exatly what he said(!!!!!) It was a moment when I was like, is he openeing up to me completely??!?!?! cos he sounded so honest and pure almost.... that in the excitement I didnt think to rememeber what he said!!!!
I have made a little bit of an effort to make sure he know it doesnt matter, because it doesnt!!! Im not angry about it!!!!! I felt very neglected a first and even cried, but Ive come to terms with it... but this sisnt really right is it?! I dont think it should be normal for me to expect my boyfriend not to come when we have sex..... Ive been thinking and one night I might book a hotel, and take him there, with out knowing, and just give him a great night, all for him, I need to make him feel good, make him feel how he makes me feel.
I love him more than anyone could love anyone else, and i show that, but when it comes to sex, i dont make him feel the way i should... it upsets me.. a lot.
Should i have to learn to live with it?!
Humph, I feel bad about it though, like guilty. I guess that doesn't help - it's like a vicious cycle!