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the common debate: looks and personality

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
as a guy myself .. i admit that im shallow.. but i can only see girls inside the little qualms of my highschool.. so its limited.. so here it goes

i would always try to portray a girl that i would like.. and try to immitate her attritubtes... as weird as it sounds... i think it has a common touch.. like being outgoing... smile....looks...respectful.... ambitious.. pretty similar stuff that girls look for in a guy and guy looks for in a gal.. cept for a few speicifcs like athletics and some other stuff.

Now im sry if my passage only asks what girls want in a guy... im sry.. ill make another opposite thread...

im 15.. and ive been polishing my attributes.. ive been modeling myself towards outgoing..respectful..athletic...ambitious...open-minded...humourous but as i make observations around my school.. i think that looks can generally sometimes be the most important thing...

because the idea of generalization is too good to pass up.. i mean when u look at sum1 who is good-looking u would assume that their personality would be as great and that all u want in a guy is already tagged on him just by looking at his face.. like a gal checking out a good-looking guy.. the gal assumes that he is out-going.. sincere..respectful.. ambitious.. humourous and that smile would make the gal think hes a god.. and plus if the guy has like a dufflebug or something that represents his athletic accomplishments walking around school also expresses his athleticness thru his looks.. and flip-flops shows his openmindess.

now really looks > personality.. not? im not talking bout marriages and stuff just basic dating and high school relationships that usually never surpasses 2 years.

extra stuff: do girls mind if a guy swears or cusses? im a 15 yr old 6"2 and not alot of girls can come close to the height.. am i too tall?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Plus

    ^ adding to that plus if a guy has good looks.. i compare myself to lesser attractive guys.. girls treat me nicer.. its like its easier for a more attractive guy to communicate and get where he wants with a girl because she also wants to meet him and becomes more open..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, I've found that any girl worth caring about goes for personality and confidence more than looks

    Just a thought...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, I am a girl.. 16.
    I personally go for personailty. I think boys and girls are different because(no offence) boys are more shallow and tend to go for looks rather than personailty. Sorry but this is my experience.
    I know that if a person has a great personality e.g. can make me laugh then i would be more likely to fancy them than the jock with good looks.
    luv lou
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i go for personality but they have to look good as well!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not shallow to want your partner to be attractive, it is only shallow when that's all you want and you disregard their other attributes. Men aren't any more shallow than women, it's just often women have more choice and can afford to be more fussy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    true dat

    true dat.... but my point is... looks > personality... because ppl subconsciously label a personality to a person just based on their face value.. like we were taught to do so from those disney movies where the ugly ones are bad and the good ones are handsome and beautiful
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    j0ey0ey wrote:
    true dat.... but my point is... looks > personality... because ppl subconsciously label a personality to a person just based on their face value.. like we were taught to do so from those disney movies where the ugly ones are bad and the good ones are handsome and beautiful

    well thats just connotations and simply not true...i'm pretty good with first impressions...i mean you'll regularly see tall,blonde fit birds with big tits and you just know by the look of them they're stuck up bimbos...

    i'd be more inclined to personality than looks cos in a relationship thats the thing that matters most in the long run...however saying that i need to look at a girl and think god she's gorgeous if i wanted her to be my girlfriend so it's definately a mixture of the two...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its true that alot of men do go for looks. Its obvious, but I've also done a lot of background reading on the subject of attraction and its intriguing how the female mind works. In a nutshell, women go for personality to the same extent that guys go for looks. Yeah if your good looking you'll get noticed first but if you haven't got that kind of personality which triggers the magical emotion known as attraction, she'll lose interest in you in a matter of minutes. So my advice to you would be to keep working on that personality of yours. Hint: forget being nice to the gals
    Ever wonder why they all say they want nice caring boyfriends then date bad boy pricks? Think about it
    Oh and I was about the same height when i was your age. Now at 21 I'm 6'5", reasonably attractive looking and the girls still don't go for me. Hope thats enough to disprove the appearance theory.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    j0ey0ey wrote:
    we were taught to do so from those disney movies where the ugly ones are bad and the good ones are handsome and beautiful

    what about the hunchback of notre dame? he was ugly but good and the beautiful girl fell in love with him...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have to find someone sexually attractive for a relationship to work, but if the person has a great personality then even the most mediocre-looking people are red hot.

    A relationship without friendship will not last long.

    scousers 101: young girls perhaps go for "bad boys" as the crisis makes life more "interesting", but few people settle down with people who treat them badly. "Nice" people don't get anywhere because they are bland and boring, nobody wants to date a sycophant; people are attracted to people who treat them well but don't always say "yes" and kiss their feet.

    ETA: people are never attracted to false personalities. If you aren't athletic or a clubber, for instance, then people will see right through it and think you pathetic.

    Be yourself, and people will find you attactive and want to date you. It's a cliche but it's true. Don't try so hard to impress people, don't change yourself to win someone, and don't be so excruciatingly nice that you become the world's most boring person.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    MzInnocent wrote:
    what about the hunchback of notre dame? he was ugly but good and the beautiful girl fell in love with him...
    Ah, but she didn't. She was only a friend to him, the one she fell in love with was the handsome dude. Think about what message THIS gives.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personally i go for personality i met my boyfriend on the net and we didnt meet till after 4 years so during that time i got to know what he was really like and not just what he looked like. looks do help afterall you've got to be attracted to that person but overall personality is the one that wins.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    j0ey0ey wrote:
    ^ adding to that plus if a guy has good looks.. i compare myself to lesser attractive guys.. girls treat me nicer.. its like its easier for a more attractive guy to communicate and get where he wants with a girl because she also wants to meet him and becomes more open..
    So women are that stupid?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    athletic???

    wait so if im on sports teams then i shouldnt walk around representing my team??? bcuz sum1 posted saying that its a false personality???
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think you are too tall, you'll appreciate your height when you get older, women tend to like tall men. Also - I have to say that TO ME looks have always been important BUT if the personality isn't there then there is no reason in persuing a relationship. Looks can be important but they by far aren't the most important.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do admit i tend to admire guys with good looks. We cannot deny it that first impression last longer but in the end if they have less brawn than beauty then that's it. You'll be dumped after a few days. Anyway i am more attracted to a cheerful, funny and optimistic guy. plus romantic. i think this is too good to be true.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dnt go for looks really, im only attracted to someone once i have got to know them. Perhaps tht is why i find it hard to find someone i like, the usual suspects in clubs arnt an option lol. Everyone is attracted to different people so what i may think is attractive others might not, the point im trying to make is that both looks and personality are important to make some1 attractive, without one or the other tht relationship wouldnt last IMO.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MzInnocent wrote:
    what about the hunchback of notre dame? he was ugly but good and the beautiful girl fell in love with him...

    And Beauty and the Beast! Can't forget that one!

    I am by far more attracted to personality. If a guy is cute too, that's just an added bonus! I didn't think that my exe was that good looking at first, but once I got to know him completely I thought he was the sexiest guy in the world!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I tend to look for girls who are pretty in their own way, not the stereotypical footballers girlfriend look.

    In my experience anyone who is too good looking either:

    A. Has a selfish attitude as they are used to members of the opposite sex catering to there every whim to either get with them or stay with them. They just dont have to try hard to accomodate others because they have become used to having their arses kissed. Just how celebs end up so arrogant.

    B. Its only a matter of time before they find someone better looking or with even more money than you to spend on her.

    I look for a girl on the same level as me, pretty in her own way,looks after herself, good dresser, intelligent, interesting, good career, caring, funny etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mushy24 wrote:
    I don't think you are too tall, you'll appreciate your height when you get older, women tend to like tall men. Also - I have to say that TO ME looks have always been important BUT if the personality isn't there then there is no reason in persuing a relationship. Looks can be important but they by far aren't the most important.

    :banghead: thats where its all going wrong! i'm like 5' 5" or 6"



    :crazyeyes
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    j0ey0ey wrote:
    wait so if im on sports teams then i shouldnt walk around representing my team??? bcuz sum1 posted saying that its a false personality???
    If you are an atheltic person then be an athletic person.

    If you're pretending to be an athletic person in order to pull da laydeez then you're a plank.

    Learn to read, ffs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Zalbor wrote:
    Ah, but she didn't. She was only a friend to him, the one she fell in love with was the handsome dude. Think about what message THIS gives.

    but i thought at the end she did end up with him? maybe i'm wrong n i should watch the movie again since now i cant remember :chin: im confused now LoL
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    since when did flipflops= open-mindedness ??? did i miss that revolution?
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    MzInnocent wrote:
    but i thought at the end she did end up with him? maybe i'm wrong n i should watch the movie again since now i cant remember :chin: im confused now LoL
    No... The blond guy, don't remember his name.
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