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advice needed please

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
after 9 yrs and 3 children my partner told me "she loved me but wasn't in love with me " and that it was over , she also gave me that familer line " i hope we can be friends" , since then ive tried to sort things out with her but she flatly refuses to talk about our relasionship , just saying theres no point. also shes gone funny with my access to the children , which is something she promised she would never do.even when we,ve seen each other alls i get a a one worded conversation.nobody cheated in this partnership , there were no arguments that lead to this bombshell , it just happened.
i know in my heart that i love this person 100% and would do anything to be with her and the children again (i don't want her just to be with my children)
plus the stress from her job can't be helping , what do i do ? i would wait forever for this person but don't think her feelings will ever change
should i walk away and accept its over ? or should i silently keep fighting for her?

veiws off men and women welcome

many thanks


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    painful as it will be.
    walking away ...might actualy change her mind more than anything slse you do.
    walking away should show you as being strong.
    keep grovelling ...cos that is how it will end up or come across ...will be seen as weak.
    strong is more attractive than weak.
    at the moment she has you dangling on her strings ...which she will pull and yank at as is her whim.
    very damaging to you.
    all the best mate.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    imo there would be little point to try and keep fighting for her. it takes 2 people for a relationship to work... and she clealy does not want to be part of it anymore. so, the best thing you can do, is try and "walk away and accept its over".
    and sometimes, although it might seem like things "just happen" - there will be a reason for it. and "waiting forever" won't help, it will just prolong your grief. you need to accept that your relationship with your partner has ended.
    shes gone funny with my access to the children
    if you are unable to see your own children, perhaps you could think about taking legal advice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As hard as it is you are going to have to walk away. If she did have you back you would know that she did'nt really love you the way she should. You deserve someone who you can have a proper mutual relationship with.

    I dont have any kids of my own but it must be hard to be separated from them when you are a good father and the relationship break up is not your fault. I've chatted to a few mates who have found themselves in this situation. Genuine fathers really seem to get a raw deal in relationship breakdowns, seemingly unfairly tarred by the same brush as the guys who dont give a damn and run from their responsibilites. My friends exes seemed to want their money and only let them spend time with their kids when it suited them and thier new partners to go out or on holidays.

    You are gonna have to walk away from this woman, be strong and dont let her see you looking like a sad puppy. Make sure that you get a fair deal on your children, when they are older and understand that it was not your fault that you split from their mother but have always been their Dad in every way you can they will respect you for sure. One of my workmates has a daughter who is 13 now, she understands what happened and now she is old enough to make her own choices loves to be around her Dad. He hung in there although his ex wanted to forget about him, just take his maintenance even though she ended it all.

    Dont jump into a new relatonship with the first person that comes along, learn from whats happened, find someone right for you with no compramise then a relationship is more likely to last. It will all work out in the end, it just may seem hard now. Good luck.
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