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meeting him

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
my bf went to meet his son last night...and fell in love.
does anyone know any message boards where i can talk to people in the same situation? i asked on my last thread but no-one answered.its so difficult and it hurts me so much.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh hunny.... I can imagine how hard it is.... A bloke I saw once neglected to tell me his ex was pregnant... one wk/end his phone was off, when I finally spoke to him he had been at the hospital with his ex and newborn daughter. I was angry he never told me. We broke up, but that doean't mean you two will. I guess your worried he will go back to her but, if he loves you and he obviously doesn't want the girl seeing as though he is with you then he won't. Get to know the mother of his baby, it may be hard but at least if you can be a part of it, it will get easier.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we've been together for four years apart from 3/4months last summer when he had one nite stand.im not worried about them and she doesnt want anything to to do with us - all contact is through her mother.
    just never expected him to be a dad without me being the mum.i find it hard to deal with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh hunny, i'm not suprised why your hurting... Sorry, I didn't realise that happened. *hugs* That would tear me apart, have u talked about having children of your own?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aww thats so sad! :confused:
    if you have a 4 year relationship thats got 2 mean something.. I've known a few lads that hav kids wiv another woman but that doesnt mean he gna stop loving you.. i know its painful knowing the 1 nyt stand turned into something it shudnt hav.. but dont get jelous.. that'l just tear you apart more
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we have...decided that it wouldn't be a good idea at the moment though. we can't afford anywhere to live and he can't afford to support me and two babies.Although try telling that to your instincts.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know the feeling! And it drives you mad... When you want a baby, it's all you see, hear and think about!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'll get over it..i know waiting is for the best. i was just really jealous last nite that he gets to be a dad whilst im a nothing. always thought it was something that would happen to us both at the same time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nicebutdim23 wrote:
    i'll get over it..i know waiting is for the best. i was just really jealous last nite that he gets to be a dad whilst im a nothing. always thought it was something that would happen to us both at the same time.


    You are not nothing. Yes she has had his child but... you have him and his love and can have as many children as you like... sorry to ask but are you both 100% sure its his?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we weren't until yesterday...she is so against us getting involved (she doesnt even want money) that if there was even the tiniest chance of getting us out of her life then i think she would use it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, to be sure, Why don't you and your partner arranged for a blood test... I know she may say "I don't want money from you, or involvement", but maybe it's because the baby isn't his, but, no-one else would except responsibility or, he was the only bloke she remembered!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't think her mum would lie to him...or she would lie to her mum.
    they cant do dna testing until he's 4months old anyway and it will cost at least £200.
    i really don't think it isn't his,as much as i would like him not to be the dad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    £200 is alot of money... What does he want... to keep in contact? You will have to be strong and I really know that is hard and hurts, but you need to make sure that you can cope with this... If you two really love each other you will get through it and one day have your own gorgeus baby! I guess your feeling hurt that he did that to you, and left out?? But one day, when all this is over, you two will have a little family of your own to be proud of!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he wants to do the whole dad thing...it just hurts. i know its not the baby's fault but im not sure im strong enough to cope with him doing that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    anyone know any good message boards?? google isnt helping!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This woman might have a child with your boyfriend, and I admit that its a strong bond between two people, however you are the one that he loves, and chooses to be with. If he wanted to be with this other woman and start playing "happy families" he would have by now. He loves you. I can only begin to imagine how difficult things are right now, but with time it WILL improve.

    As for the message boards, afraid not :(
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