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Experimenting, HELP!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
As I said in a previous post, i recently discovered that i'm bisexual. I also have a friend (male) who discovered the same. I'd like to try experimenting w/ him, but i don't know how to bring it up. It does seem like he wants to as well, but i'm not sure. Anyone who is bisexual or homosexual, can you give me advice, maybe even mention on how you're first time fooling around w/ someone of the same sex went. I just need some advice.

And if anyone decides that this is extremely disgusting and wants to make some stupid comment about this, i don't want to hear it. Keep your opinions to yourself, i just want advice here. And to all of you who are here to help and give advice. Thanks!!

Blessed Be

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well i aint bi sexual or homo, but really treat it like uve treated relationships in the past. like when i asked my first g/f out i was really scared like most people are, so im sure its just the same for you. just do what you feel is right and go for it id say.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Turtle I know he hasn't been nice to you in his post on the Anything Goes board, but do you really think it's a good idea to bring the animosity over here? I'm not standing up for him but this seems like you're just picking a fight. After all, the guy was giving some reasonable advice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What you talking about? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

    Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey look, im not bi or homo either but i totally respect pplz choice so u no instead of doin it bluntly cos at 1st it'll look akward just go gently as in aproximatin gur self 2 him, if u notice he backs a lil go slower or wait, if he doesn't then go a lil closer, he'll feel better sum1 else goin 1st ya no
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for the advice, it helps, although it would still help a lot if someone that has gone through this before can help. Cuz i'm still kinda confused on this
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/confused.gif"&gt;


    Blessed Be
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right, *thinks* have you ever seen that Tango advert? no seriously tho... erm..

    Its a tricky one, just say to him about your feelings, tell him you'd like to kiss him or perhaps just go out clubbing and something may progress from there... I don't think theres really a straight and logical way of doing it, its just something you either talk about (then do) or start doing..

    Few experiences I can think back on where:

    a) Club - Can I kiss you (said to me) - Done! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    b) Bedroom - Just being close and then *cough* things just sorta progressed <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

    Just explain to him your feelings and take it from there... good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well my only bi experience so far has been holding hands... so I haven't exactly gone through it... but here's my advice:
    I'd hint. Just say "you know, I'm really curious to explore this side of me but I don't want to get it on with a total stranger... know what I mean?" And see what he says. You could even say "I know you're going through the same thing I am, what do you think about it?"
    ... I know guys are less apt to talk about things like this. Honestly, though, I think it's the best thing to do.
    Either that or flirt like hell and hope some sparks fly
    =] good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i can't really say nething, coz when i was around carly, there was just this.. atmosphere. and so stuff happened naturally. we never actually sat down and talked stuff out till after we stopped <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by SusieLovesCalvin:
    i can't really say nething, coz when i was around carly, there was just this.. atmosphere. and so stuff happened naturally. we never actually sat down and talked stuff out till after we stopped <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

    who's carly? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    is she reptilian? *lonely* <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Calvin:
    who's carly? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;


    i could say a few things about the phone.. but im just not going to.
    and turtle, she's blonde if that counts.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with amadee and someone else who said treat it like any of your other relationships.

    approaching someone of the same sex is difficult for the first time and especially when your not sure if they have feelings for you too.

    meeting gay/bi people is a lot different than meeting straight people, ie; my mates bf has a mate called neil, i fancied the arse off him when i met him and flirted with him loads, i knew he was straight and it didnt matter.........

    i dont go broadcastin to the whole world that im bi so when i meet new people i dont know its not something i just come out and say, and people wouldnt guess by looking at me, so if neil was a girl say i wouldnt have flirted with her because she could have been just like me.......

    a girl who likes women but not so's youd know.

    So even when you do like someone theres the whole thing about are they gay?

    I think i might b goin off topic here a bit anyway most of the females ive met have been in the gay village and theyve blatantly been gay and ive just been how i am with lads down there.

    Ermmmmm ok im rambling i think?

    *finito*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit II:
    approaching someone of the same sex is difficult for the first time and especially when your not sure if they have feelings for you too.

    This happened to me about six months ago. I really, really liked this guy called Ollie (and had done for ages). I didn't really know him that well at first but we got chatting and got pretty close as friends. Then a couple of weeks later, somehow it came out(no pun intended) that he was bi, and he hadn't realised that I was gay. I really wanted to tell him how I felt right then, but for some reason I decided not to. I think it was probably the fact that he already had a girlfriend. Anyway the next time I saw him we were having a bit of a chat and I just told him. He was a bit shocked at first and just went "but i've got a girlfriend." But then he said they'd spilt up the night before and I got dead excited, but nothing else was said. We didn't see each other for a week or two, and when I saw him next he'd got back with his ex. Bastard. Anyway, I felt(and still do sometimes) unbelievably awkward around him for a while afterwards, but we've started to get back to the friendship that we had.

    This probably isn't gonna help you Talimur, but you asked for peoples experiences. Mine just happened to be a bad one.
    i fancied the arse off him and flirted with him loads, i knew he was straight and it didnt matter.........

    I flirt with straight guys all the time when i'm out and none of them even seem to notice. Even when i'm being dead obvious.
    i dont go broadcastin to the whole world that im bi so when i meet new people i dont know its not something i just come out and say, and people wouldnt guess by looking at me. So even when you do like someone theres the whole thing about are they gay?

    I'm hearing that. The club I go out to regularly isn't gay, so i always really want to tell people that I fancy them, but i'm scared of the reaction. I always think i'll just get battered for being a poof, so I normally just stare at them from afar.

    All my life what I had mistaken for friendly pats on the back were really the hands that pushed me further and further down.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey guys, thanks for the help with this. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    I haven't talked to him yet, but when I do, I'll let you all know how it went, that is, if you do want to know... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/rolleyes.gif"&gt;

    Cya all l8r <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    Tal

    Blessed Be
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good luck!

    I hope you have better luck than I had.

    All my life what I had mistaken for friendly pats on the back were really the hands that pushed me further and further down.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, i talked to him about it, and it seems we're gonna give it a try sometime.

    I so happy!!
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    Thanks all,
    Tal

    Blessed Be
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good work!

    Hope you have fun, just remeber to be careful.

    All my life what I had mistaken for friendly pats on the back were really the hands that pushed me further and further down.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talimur- I'm happy for you! That's great. What did you say to him? Was it awkward or not? Have fun =]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, it was extremely akward. But it all worked out. And I'm acctually thinking this might be more than me just wanting to experiment, cuz i think i'm starting to have feelings for him. It's weird to start having feelings like this for a guy when i just found this out recently.

    Blessed Be
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Be careful if you think your getting feelings for him, he may not feel the same. From my past experience that's when you get hurt emotionally. I built up this big relationship in my head that I thought was just waiting to happen. It wasn't.

    If he feels the same way as you then that's really, really great, but you should ask him about his feeling, they may be different to yours.

    I hope it works out for you.

    All my life what I had mistaken for friendly pats on the back were really the hands that pushed me further and further down.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    I agree with jeffrey ... just 'cos he wants to experiment with you doesn't mean he wants anything more than that. Don't read any more into it other than experimental, stress-relieving sex or you may hurt yourself more than you need to.

    Take care and good luck! *hugs*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    keep us posted, please =]
    as always, i think the best advice is to always be upfront about everything.
    i wouldn't talk about 'feelings' quite yet, be absolutely sure about how you feel before you talk to him, you may freak him out a little!
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