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Paranoia!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
If you cant seem to get paranoia out of a relationship and its been like this for ages would you end it?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how do you mean?

    what are you paranoid of, and has it ever happened?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd try and look at whats causing it first.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im just constantly paranoid that my bf is cheating on me and i think he has the same problem. The thing is the more we talk about it, the worse it makes me feel. It is always coming up!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    has it always been like that, or has something happened to make you suspicious?

    If someone is going to cheat on you, it makes no difference what you do. They will do it anyway. If you are clingy and posessive they are probably more likely to feel trapped.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive been made suspicious by a couple of things, but i tend to read into stuff a lot! When im paranoid hes not and when im not he is! Its mad!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how long have you been together?

    what are you suspicious about?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Been going out 14 months. Have been a few things, him seeming to try to make me jealous by telling me that a girl is interested in him whos house party we were going to. That was towards the beginning. Recently he told me about another 1 as he was annoyed id recieved a text from a guy at my uni! Then some slightly odd texts. I have big issues with trust!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you actually talked to him about all this? Sounds like you play each other a bit!

    Imagine relationships before mobile phones...they cause so many problems.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have spoken to him. He says that absolutely nothing has been going on. I think it is a constant battle between us, who can make the other jealous and be 1 up on the other! Maybe we are too similar in a way, i dont know...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a bit of jealousy from time to time can be quite healthy, but it sounds like he's trying to make you jealous, which is a bit childish.

    i don't think it necessarily sounds like he's cheating, just like a bit of boyish 'she fancies me'.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol hes 24, shame he cant grow up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    think of reasons why you stay together?

    if you paranoia is screwing up your relationship, you can't talk about it, and you cannot trust each other enough not to go off with someone else...

    then there isn't much hope there it seems; and perhaps it would be a good idea to at least consider ending it.

    without trust: there isn't a relationship! :no:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, whether he has cheated or not isn't as imporatnt as whether you feel he has cheated or not. If you feel he has, and you've been feeling it for a while, I think you'd be best to end the relationship before you two grow to really hate each other
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yer i know trust is the key thing in a relationship! Otherwise you may as well not be in 1! Well ive told him again that if it doesnt change we have to finish. It will probably continue on as ever though. Two of my closest friends are saying i should finish it as its driving me insane. I continually change my mind all the time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It will probably continue on as ever though.
    well... of course it will... either you BOTH need to change or end it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fairy wrote:
    I continually change my mind all the time.
    Be strong. I honestly feel you should listen to your friends, even if you don't want to hear it from some random blue guy on a web forum :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skateside wrote:
    Be strong. I honestly feel you should listen to your friends, even if you don't want to hear it from some random blue guy on a web forum :p

    :) Yer i probably should listen to them more. Maybe i should get out of it now before it gets even worse. Keep thinking id be better off single...
    Recently hes been buying me more gifts and complimenting me more. This just makes me really suspect! Have had that feeling for a long time wish it would go!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi

    You are describing just what I get. I know my guy loves me but I worry all the time. I have to stop myself worrying over who he is texting etc.

    I think it boils down to the fact that I dont like myself very much and I've also been treated badly and cheated on so I guess its a case of once bitten twice shy.

    Easier said than done but you've gotta try to believe he loves you. Maybe you coukld sit down and talk over why you feel this way and see how he feels and if he has any similar worries.

    Paranoia is awful. Its even worse when its just that niggling feeling you described and you cam't quite put your finger on why you feel that way.

    Take care
    Phoenix
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should finish it, you could go on forever being unsure, but that won't get you anywhere. If you can never trust him your relationship is not going to improve. The longer you leave it the more pain it will cause in the end.

    Whatever you do it should be what you feel would be best for you, you said you sometimes think you would be better off being single, if there are any doubts then there is your answer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry
    Fairy wrote:
    :) Maybe i should get out of it now before it gets even worse.

    i personally can't stand the element of jealousy in a relationship. i know it's natural to have, but i believe in trust so if you can't trust your boyfriend after 14 months together, how long is it gonna take for him to gain your trust! you should be flattered that other girls think his attractive, when my boyfriend goes out he has girls flirting with him and he has girl friends that i have never met, but he talks to on the phone. i take it as a compliment to me!

    Seriously, ask him if you can trust him, if he says you can (without hesitating) then believe him!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ivehad the same prob, but mine stems from the fact that he has cheated i only found this out 4 months ago! just after we got back 2gether after id been i malia for 4 months repping (we split up) i told him everything id been up 2 (mistake) then one of my m8s told me what hed dun when we were 2gether! i wos absolutly devostated
    , but i decided 2 get back with him as i love him more than anything, its been really hard trying to for get both r mistakes!

    but i no that trust comes with time so we started over again and were both making the effort to b honest with eachother, the hardest thing is not bringing it all up! im the worsed 4 it, but what i go on is the fact that he can 4get the past so i owe him that much 2 for get myself!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well ive spoken to him now. We cleared up a few things. Told him i need time to think. I think im going to spend some time apart to decide whether ill be happier without him or not. I know it definately cant continue like this as its effecting everything i do and i cant go on feeling like this. My friends have told me i need to put myself first and make myself happier again. So thats what im going to try and do whether it involves him or not. Think ive almost given up on guys though. Thankyou for all your advice.
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