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I have feelings for my best friend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have feelings about a girl I've known in Uni for three years now. We are also house mates too but Im just to afraid to tell her how I feel in case it ruins the really good friendship we have. We are always really "huggy" towards each other and get on well. Whenever I'm out in a club with her and go after other women she always seems to come up to me and dances with me (which means I never pull). When she was out with me and another mate the other day she said there was this guy she had feelings for but when I asked who she replied "oh im not saying, i think he only sees me as just a friend".
I always saw this person as just a friend for the last few years but recently things have begun to change and I have devloped feelings towards her. On the other hand I don't want to ruin a really good friendship. What should I do please?
I always saw this person as just a friend for the last few years but recently things have begun to change and I have devloped feelings towards her. On the other hand I don't want to ruin a really good friendship. What should I do please?
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Comments
When I was 17 I was really good friends with a girl. We met as her best mate was going out with one of our group. She had the same wierd humour as me, seemed to like the same stuff and was kinda quirky, interesting and intelligent yet still amazing looking without being at all stuck up. To begin with she was with someone else so I never made a move we just had a laugh in each others company. I never made a move as I just loved being around her and she was kinda with someone else. It messed me up as I had some chances with some stunning girls and didnt take any of them as I was hung up on this girl at the time. My mates thought I was going mad or was on the turn!! To cut a long story short she finished with her BF, we came so close to getting togeather a few times but then she went off to Uni at the other end of the country to me. We kept in touch for a while and of course she met someone there so I kinda faded out. Shes since graduated from Uni and lives and works in London and we lost touch years ago.
The fact is I should have made my move all that time ago, I may have been lucky, maybe blown out. At least I would have known one way or another. I would'nt have lost a friend really as we lost touch after time anyway. If you find someone you feel like that about and you feel there is a real chance you at least have to try. The real deal don't happen very often.
Second time around I said something, and we're getting married in April.
And then at least you'll know instead of worrying about it and regretting not having done it afterwards...
But I'd recommend talking to her, tell her you really value her as a friend and explain how you've been feeling. You sound like you have a pretty good, healthy and solid friendship that this wouldn't do anything to ruin it irrepairably. I think you'd regret it if you didn't try. I know if I hadn't have made my move when I did then I would have lost the chance and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. Don't agonise over it too much, internally fretting and keeping things bottled up, I found, was worse than the possibility he'd not feel the same. Go for it. You'll get some answers whatever happens and move on, hopefully in the direction you want.
I've been in this situation before and kind of what happened is we both looked at each other and knew - but thats a bit random, so i'd suggest maybe asking.
xxx
You might want to take a look at this article too. It could help...
CB