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helping my flatmate

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
im not really shure where to put this but anyway

you mite have noticed that i have been whinging away for a couple of days about my housemates, in particular my psyco housemate who is very mentally unstable in my opinion. I found him in a bad state last night what happened last night (last post) and there have been many similar incidents throughout the year.

The landlord tried talking to his mum (he has her fone number after he purposly pulled a vending machine over and injured himself) but she thinks that the sun shines out of his arse and he's "excentric" as she put it so theres no help there.

and now we can hear him in his room screaming and crying and shrieking and smahing things and has been doing so for hours. He has been like this since someone was playing a joke before and piled a few plastic garden chairs up outside his door and knocked on it so that when he opened the door they all fell in the room (the guy wasnt being nasty he did it to everyone, but he is from downstairs and doesnt know what the other guy is like). It didnt go to well and ended up with the lad having the chairs thrown at him as he ran up the stairs and he hasnt come out of his room since (this was at 7pm)

Were all getting very worried abuot him, his saftey and ours. we want to help him but dont want to put ourselves in danger (why he is a danger is explained in the linked thread above).

we have rang the landlord and left a message on his mobile explaining the situation but im not sure what he can do as he is out of the country. No one even has his fone number let alone that of any of his friends or family.

we just dont know how to help him, we dont know what is wrong with him,

anyone got any ideas?

one of the guys recons that we should ring an ambulance

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you feel that he is putting you in danger then please please phone an ambulance. or the police. they're waaay better equipped and trained to deal with this than you are. even if you just speak to them, and they give you advice, then thats better than leaving him. at the end of the day, you have to be selfish, yes you want to help this guy, but you also have to look after yourself, as id imagine this is a bit of a fuck up for you. let us know how you get on xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    for the moment all has gone quiet on the western front. We still dont know what to do, i think that trying to get his mums fone number off the landlord mite be the best thing to do in the morning.

    What to say ti her is another matter but we will cross that bridge if we can get her fone number out of the landlord.

    I would imagine that if we say that somthing is wrong with him then she would come to check or atleast ring him just on the off chance.

    She cant live that far away as she comes around a couple of times a month.

    As for ringing the police or an ambulence we have decided that that is what we will do in an emergancy and everyone is to leave their mobiles on all night incase he kicks off with anyone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would think talking to his mum would be pointless - she's most likely to defend him if she thinks "that the sun shines out of his arse"
    if he acts that way again, you should definatly phone the police and ambulance, but don't let him know you have done it - incase he kicks of at any of you. from there, the emergency services will deal with him - it is not upto you to help him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like he has calmed down a bit now so calling an ambulance may be a bit drastic - it may have worked during the height of the episode you descibed but I'm not sure how much they could help now. It may be bteer to try and understand why he's acting so strangely. Does he have any friends at uni that can talk to him? Has anyone actually tried to talk to him to see if he is going through a tough time/experiencing problems (it sounds like he is).

    I'm sure your uni must have a nurse/counsellor - you should really urge him to try and speak to them. Failing that, give one of the following helplines a call to get some better advice:

    Mind
    A wealth of information about mental health issues and contact details for the nearest Mind group in your area.
    Web: www.mind.org.uk
    Tel: 0207 8020 300

    SANELINE
    Offers practical information, crisis care and emotional support to anybody affected by mental health problems.
    Web: www.sane.org.uk
    Tel: 0845 767 8000

    SupportLine
    Offers confidential and emotional support on the telephone for children, young adults and adults
    020 8554 9004
    www.supportline.org.uk

    I hope some of this helps you - and him. Good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cheers for the advice people. the idea of ringing an ambulance was just incase he got really bad again just for lack of knowing what to do, we wouldnt ring one if he was calm.

    i think 1/2 the problem is that no one knows anything about him, he has nothing to do with anyone in the house, doesnt even speak to anyone on most days. Its hard to try and help someone that doesnt want anything to do with you.

    I tried talking to him this morning but got told to fuck off and stop trying to make myself feel better by counciling the mad man. So i dont really see that there is anything that i can do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what i'd do is find our now, while everything is calm and settled and you have time, what you should do if that happens again.

    maybe ask citizen's advice, or NHS direct, or the police non-emergency line.

    that way, if you need to act in a hurry, you'll know exactly what to do without wasting time or putting yourself at risk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks thats a good idea :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it sounds as though the guy is having a nervous breakdown.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I understand that you don't want to get too involved, but this guy obviously needs some help. Even if you just alert your uni counsellor/a lecturer etc to the problem and then let them deal with it you will know you've tried. Also, if you have someone at uni that knows about him now, if it does all flare up again you will have an immediate point of contact to turn to in an emergency.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spanner is right, however it is also important to consider your well being, safety and peace of mind. It can be very distressing and confusing living with someone with erratic behaviour/ severe mental health problems and I'd urge you to speak to your tutor/ welfare officer about the stresses you are under due to this. Your department or your union advice centre should also be able to notify his tutor about his behaviour, offer you the best channels to get more advice, help him, and help you.

    It does sound like he is going through a hard time, I do think someone in a position of responsibility should be alerted of this, but it is also important that you don't live in fear and let your health and studies suffer as a result.

    Hope it all works out for the best,
    Take care of you,

    Susie x
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